Ask HN: What to do instead of drinking alcohol?

If your concern is seeing the posts on HN about alcoholism, and you're anxious about becoming dependent but currently are not, I can suggest an alternative formulation that I follow. I have a lot of alcoholism in my family, and I myself am quite a moderate drinker. (1-2 drinks per week most weeks; often none; maybe 3-4 in busier summer months when there's more social stuff going on.)

Here are some rules I came up with for myself when I first started drinking, several years ago. They are based on the behaviors that I observed in other people who were "moderate" drinkers.

1) Never drink alone. Alcohol is for social engagements only. (I do count hanging out on video chat/Discord as "social" to an extent, if other people are also drinking. Social engagements don't have to be parties; dinner with your spouse counts. The important thing is it is a social activity.)

2) Never drink more than three drinks in a night. After your third, you're done. Instead, drink slowly. (You could vary this from two to four depending on your health and tolerance. In practice, I almost never drink more than two. I tell people I'm a slow drinker because I'm a lightweight, which is true, but only because I have let it be true by not drinking much.)

3) If you can afford it, drink good quality beverages - craft beer, scotch or bourbon, nice wine - which taste interesting and are worth savoring. Helps with part 2.

4) Never drink solely because you feel bad in some way and "could use a drink." If you feel badly but also are in a social environment where you would have had a drink otherwise, that's okay - you just don't want to form an association where

5) Avoid drinking on an empty stomach - having something to munch on slows you down.

I am not an expert and I don't guarantee this will work for everyone - and certainly it will never work for someone who is already an alcoholic. But it has helped me define my relationship to alcohol in what I feel is a healthy way, and maintain it.

I was having two to three strong IPAs every single evening for about the last 10 years. This would give me a nice buzz but nothing close to getting drunk. I stopped completely six months ago. Since then, I've had no noticeable mental benefits to speak of, but I also wasn't experiencing any noticable negative effects beforehand. I have never had elevated liver enzymes. I am physically active and keep a healthy diet.

I decided to stop less for the health reasons but more because I was definitel psychologically super addicted. At this point in my life, I want to begin a new phase without any substances having a hold on me. Pot was a much more serious issue for me, but alcohol is objectively worse for the body so I figured I might as well let go of it too.

Overall, stopping was surprisingly easy. No withdrawals or anything like that. After two weeks I started having emotional cravings for IPAs, cause they are just so damn tasty. That, and kicking back after work with my wife and a few beers had become a very ingrained ritual. Another month from there that went away, along with any thoughts of wanting to drink, period. Going food shopping is about the only time I'm reminded that alcohol exists.

I did make the conscious choice to have a 9% 20oz IPA after about 4 months off. I was very curious about what kind of effect that would have after such a long break. It was strange. I barely felt any effect from the alcohol and got a nasty hangover the next day that lasted into the early evening. I suspected this had something to do with the hops so two weeks ago I repeated the experiment with 24 oz. of 10% Belguian sour. No hangover but still a very subdued effect from the alcohol. I guess even though my enzymes weren't elevated, there is some other mechanism that was making my liver less efficient at processing the booze when I was drinking.

Anyway, my main point is it's all a matter of habit. Unless you're well into the physical addiction phase of alcoholism, it's 100% emotional. Things were a bit easier for me in that I don't like going to bars one bit. House parties were a lot of fun in college but as an adult my social drinking would almost always involve a few friends hanging out at someone's house. Quality time with good friends if they are drinking and you're not is just as good. For those who are into the bar scene, ummm, maybe try pot? But overall, I'd say that if alcohol makes a boring activity tolerable, it obviously makes sense to do something that you actually enjoy instead.

For all of you wanting to stop drinking, just give it a go. It may take a month or two to delete the habit, but it will happen.

Similar alternatives would be gaming with friends or tabletop game night.