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Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

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Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#171

Post by tomcam »

nvarsj wrote: post #111
tomcam wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have horrible insomnia and would be thrilled with 4+ hours/day. Your notion that one could just sleep any amount at will is a wilder fantasy than the ones I have about Scarlett Johannson. Nothing helps: drugs, meditation, quitting caffeine, dietary changes, exercise, etc.

I assume you talked to a doctor about it? Insomnia is the worst - you have my sympathy. I personally have recurring short lived bouts (falling exhausted at 12, only to wake up 3 hours later unable to sleep again, repeat every day). My dad had terrible insomnia too, I think I'm just prone to it. I know I am likely HSP too, so my brain is hardwired to react more strongly than normal to stimulus. I find a pitch black ro…

Thank you very much. Yes, I just saw my doctor today. I have no thyroid so we are adjusting my thyroid meds, which may help a little. It did once before, so I’m a little hopeful. She also prescribed a new sleep medicine I haven’t tried yet (although that’s not my ideal way of handling this. I would rather get to the roots but after 50 years I don’t think it’ll help much.

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#172

Post by tomcam »

dominotw wrote: post #70
tomcam wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have horrible insomnia and would be thrilled with 4+ hours/day. Your notion that one could just sleep any amount at will is a wilder fantasy than the ones I have about Scarlett Johannson. Nothing helps: drugs, meditation, quitting caffeine, dietary changes, exercise, etc.

> Your notion that one could just sleep any amount at will is a wilder fantasy than the ones I have about Scarlett Johannson. I have family telling me to "just sleep more" as if i wouldn't do that if it was in my control.

I fucking hate that

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#173

Post by tomcam »

amelius wrote: post #107
tomcam wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have horrible insomnia and would be thrilled with 4+ hours/day. Your notion that one could just sleep any amount at will is a wilder fantasy than the ones I have about Scarlett Johannson. Nothing helps: drugs, meditation, quitting caffeine, dietary changes, exercise, etc.

> Your notion that one could just sleep any amount at will I'm sorry about your situation but I believe most people can sleep 10+ hours if they want, under the right conditions.

A boy can dream can’t he

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#174

Post by tomcam »

mandmandam wrote: post #55
tomcam wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have horrible insomnia and would be thrilled with 4+ hours/day. Your notion that one could just sleep any amount at will is a wilder fantasy than the ones I have about Scarlett Johannson. Nothing helps: drugs, meditation, quitting caffeine, dietary changes, exercise, etc.

I'm sure people are always telling you things to try, but in case it helps - have you tried the 4-7-8 breathing technique for sleep, or Wim Hof? Both are fairly rapid in effect, and help manage cortisol.

Thank you. I have, and to no avail. I really appreciate the suggestion though

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#175

Post by l30n4da5 »

Jach wrote: post #126
l30n4da5 wrote: post #95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> > Should I take time off? How much? > Yes, if possible several months or a year so you have time to get fully away from the grind. I honestly do not know a single person who has the funds saved up to do this.

There are a lot of us. After a six year stint, with my current burn rate (that I expect to decrease later this year) it'd take 20 years for my savings (read index funds) to run out if they didn't grow at all. If you've been working in tech for more than a year and don't have a year's living expenses saved up/invested in liquid assets, you might want to reconsider your spending habits, or your suspiciously low salary…

> If you've been working in tech for more than a year and don't have a year's living expenses saved up/invested in liquid assets, you might want to reconsider your spending habits

This is probably the most detached-from-reality thing I have ever read on HN.

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#176

Post by convolvatron »

jrib wrote: post #132
convolvatron wrote: post #124

Earlier quoted context omitted.

agree completely. never into sports and absoutely hate gyms. but i started doing manual labor in a creative field, and getting around town using a bike and i'm much better for it.

curious: would mind describing exactly what kind of manual labor in a creative field?

art metal fabricator - metal manufacturing for sculptors and other artists that need specialist help producing work or tooling.

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#177

Post by Jach »

l30n4da5 wrote: post #175
Jach wrote: post #126

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There are a lot of us. After a six year stint, with my current burn rate (that I expect to decrease later this year) it'd take 20 years for my savings (read index funds) to run out if they didn't grow at all. If you've been working in tech for more than a year and don't have a year's living expenses saved up/invested in liquid assets, you might want to reconsider your spending habits, or your suspiciously low salary…

> If you've been working in tech for more than a year and don't have a year's living expenses saved up/invested in liquid assets, you might want to reconsider your spending habits This is probably the most detached-from-reality thing I have ever read on HN.

That's a pretty impressive feat. I'm tempted to link to things I think are more detached, but I'd prefer if you tried to correct me instead of insult me so that if I am detached I can become re-attached.

As I led with, there are a lot of us, so that you don't personally know anyone (now you know at least one impersonally) says more about your social circle than anything. Hence my curiosity on whether you're in the US, outside of which I admit to not having much data apart from there often being low salaries and high taxes. I also realize exceptions exist, one might have a non-working partner and/or multiple kids and/or other circumstances that make it hard but to spend almost one's entire paycheck. I think these are exceptions though and they don't characterize most (happy to concede down to many if you can convince me) US-based software engineers/software managers/PMs/devops/... (what I meant by 'tech'; you might have me if we investigate other roles e.g. technical writers). There is also the situation where they spend but could save if they organized their finances. I want to refer to the candles budget meme, since it points to an underlying truth for a lot of people...

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#178

Post by LaundroMat »

l30n4da5 wrote: post #95
ok_dad wrote: post #42

> Should I tell my boss and/or team? No, they will stab you in the back, no matter how much you think they won't. > Should I take time off? How much? Yes, if possible several months or a year so you have time to get fully away from the grind. > Is there something in my working environment I should try to change? Probably reduce the volume of work you are doing or do something that you care about more. > Is there anyt…

> > Should I take time off? How much? > Yes, if possible several months or a year so you have time to get fully away from the grind. I honestly do not know a single person who has the funds saved up to do this.

Well, I'm lucky enough to live in Western Europe, where burnout is considered an sickness you should take enough time for to heal. That means that my (obligatory) health insurance (that is paid for mostly by my fellow countrymen) provides me with an income.

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#179

Post by LaundroMat »

ok_dad wrote: post #42

> Should I tell my boss and/or team? No, they will stab you in the back, no matter how much you think they won't. > Should I take time off? How much? Yes, if possible several months or a year so you have time to get fully away from the grind. > Is there something in my working environment I should try to change? Probably reduce the volume of work you are doing or do something that you care about more. > Is there anyt…

I took me a while to realize this (at the end of a burnout now, working 2 days a week) but things not being done was and still is a major stressor for me. I am now actively looking for stuff to do that has a clear beginning and end. Give me input, I'll provide the output and go on to the next thing.

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#180

Post by l30n4da5 »

Jach wrote: post #177
l30n4da5 wrote: post #175

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> If you've been working in tech for more than a year and don't have a year's living expenses saved up/invested in liquid assets, you might want to reconsider your spending habits This is probably the most detached-from-reality thing I have ever read on HN.

That's a pretty impressive feat. I'm tempted to link to things I think are more detached, but I'd prefer if you tried to correct me instead of insult me so that if I am detached I can become re-attached. As I led with, there are a lot of us, so that you don't personally know anyone (now you know at least one impersonally) says more about your social circle than anything. Hence my curiosity on whether you're in the US…

Simply put, outside of the coasts, Software Engineers don't make nearly as much as you seem to think they do.

"After a year in software engineering, you should have at least a year's living expenses saved up"? What world are you living in?

Been in software nearly 10 years now. There is no way in any universe that after year 1 I would have had living expenses for a _whole year_ saved up. At a base salary of $30k starting (10 years ago, mind you), with rent at $1.5k/mo, that doesn't leave too much after taxes for savings after existing expenses, let alone being able to save up an entire year's worth of those living expenses on that salary. At the time I started, in my area, $30K/yr was the average, btw.

So yes, your comment was _incredibly_ detached from reality.

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