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Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

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Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#31
Whenever I feel down, I remember one powerful book I've read: "White on Black" [1]. It is in Russian and was written by a person born with a cerebral palsy, who had survived in soviet orphanage. The very vivid depiction of a life of a person with severe disability just forces you to better appreciate things you are taking for granted: like a capability to walk on your own and have working hands. This is what matters, and all other problems are transitory and should be treated as such.

Unfortunately, I don't know if a translation to English exists.

[1]: https://ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/%D0%91%D0%B5%D0%BB%D0%BE%D0%B5...

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#32
As someone that has gone through something similar and recently got out of it.

Seems like you haven't started to make any plans on what to change. I'd wait to talk to your manager/company until you have a better idea of what you need. But then do, maybe they offer some extended time off, maybe they have other mental health resources available. If they do try to make use of them.

Take your time. Don't think you'll be back to where you were any time soon if ever. Maybe your work life will be different from here on out. Maybe you'll have to live with it. Prioritizing companies with good work/life balance is a must.

If you have the means definitively take some time off. The more the better. Or take a part-time job if you still need some income.

No hobbies no problem. Play video games, watch movies, netflix and do exercises every day. It's important to keep your mind and body moving with something that is stress free.

If you don't want to do anything, just sit or lay in bed all day. Look for a psychologist. This is not normal, you need treatment and it's available, is easy and it works. It just takes some time to find the right med. Don't let yourself be depressed.

When you are interested again try to create a hobby project, even if it doesn't generate any income, learn a new framework or language, or whatever technical that sparks interest in you. As you build interest again in work stuff you'll miss work.

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#33

How much money do you have saved up ? Do you have a family ? Let's assume your answers are a lot and no. Just stop. I quit a horrible job in my youth without knowing if I'd make rent next month. It was worth it,but only because I didn't have any dependents. With a family this is insanely reckless.

> With a family this is insanely reckless.

This is why fewer of us are having families. There's something in the back of our minds telling us that we're not safe.

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#34
post #11

The bad news is it’s going to take a long time to heal. The good news is you can come back happier than you can imagine. In an ideal scenario you would quit working entirely to focus on your health, but I’m guessing this is not an option. You need to focus on the body first. The most important is sleep, but that is also difficult to address directly, so it’s best to focus on diet and exercise. You’ll likely have to d…

This is a very good list. I'll add my to 2 cents to this.

1. Don't do any addiction. Alcohol, Psychedelics nothing. That's another spiral you won't be able to climb out from.

2. Taking some time off is the easiest way to figure out your l life. You will soon be able to realise your priorities in life. I'd say 2 months is good enough a time. But the most important thing is to not attempt doing any work stuff during the time out period.

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#35
I quit my job October because I was too burnt out to keep going (and because I got a 3% raise in a year of 7% inflation right after I released a product that would save the company millions a month, but I digress).

My best advice is, if you can afford it, quit your job and don't do anything until it sounds good. Like literally sit and stare at a wall until something sounds fun. My recovery was definitely delayed because I thought doing hobbies was how I was going to recover, so I forced myself to try to do things because I though I'd want to have accomplished them after my sabbatical was done.

If you want to call it mediation, call it that. If you want to call it sitting in the shower with a beer call it that. If you want to call it renting a cabin on a mountain to with no internet, call it that. The important thing is you're giving your mind time to (if you will) run a defrag on itself.

I'm still not 100% over being burnt out, so I can't give any guarantee, but giving myself that time has definitely helped immensely.

> Should I tell my boss and/or team? Should I tell them right away, or wait until I know what other steps I want to take? What should I expect their reactions to be?

Hard to say. How's your relationship with your boss/team? If quitting is the most likely outcome, you have nothing to lose, and maybe they can help. If your work reletionships are more adversarial, maybe not.

> Should I take time off? How much? Or should I try to work reduced hours? I'm hesitant because I don't have many hobbies (if any) and in the middle of the pandemic there isn't much to do anyway. I don't think running out of things to do would be any better for my health than continuing as-is. I've been there before and I don't handle boredom well.

In my opinion, yes.

I don't know you or your personality, but for me not handling boredom well was a symptom of being burnt out. Or as I said it, I was "bad at" relaxing. I still am, but I'm getting better about it. And the thing that is helping the most with that is telling myself that I'm allowed to be bored and then scheduling some time to be bored. That might sound stupid, but I really think that is the thing that has helped my mental health recently more than anything else.

> If I continue working, is there something in my working environment I should try to change? Think of senior engineer in a typical DevOps-y SaaS startup.

Can you work less? I've actually started a new gig (2 months after my last day as the last one), but I'm working part time (though salaried w/ benefits) and it's great having more time in the mornings and afternoons. I don't think I could swing a full time gig at the moment, but working half-time has silenced the part of my brain that kept telling me I should be making money and being a contributing member of society.

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#36
Can you get a medical leave? I was/am in your shoes, and I managed to get a leave from a doctor (general doctor, then psychiatrist). After almost 2 months off I feel so much better. Of course this is likely to tip off your boss (I just didn't care any more, so wasn't an issue for me). After 4-6 weeks of just walks in nature and sleep fixing (medication included) I am now being highly encouraged by my therapist to get regular exercise, and also to find out what I want to do in my life.

I am European, this might matter.

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#37
Tell no one. Drink energy drinks. When it's not enough, drink more. Sleep 8. Wake up 10 years later with busted arteries and a great career. Yeaaa. Sippp.

No, seriously, I don't have any better advice.

P.S. The person saying sleep more is right. It will help you recover (partially) from the havoc the energy drinks wreak on your body.

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#38
post #11

The bad news is it’s going to take a long time to heal. The good news is you can come back happier than you can imagine. In an ideal scenario you would quit working entirely to focus on your health, but I’m guessing this is not an option. You need to focus on the body first. The most important is sleep, but that is also difficult to address directly, so it’s best to focus on diet and exercise. You’ll likely have to d…

Can't comment one way or the other on Whole 30, but my wife and I have drastically reduced our sugar consumption and it's made us feel significantly better. Eliminating it entirely is a huge pain, but choosing the lower/no sugar options whenever they're available has helped us cut out probably ~90% of our sugar consumption, and even just that has had a noticeable effect on our health.

Did you only eliminate sweets, chocolate, etc. or also bread, pasta, and all other things that break into glucose.

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#39
post #11

The bad news is it’s going to take a long time to heal. The good news is you can come back happier than you can imagine. In an ideal scenario you would quit working entirely to focus on your health, but I’m guessing this is not an option. You need to focus on the body first. The most important is sleep, but that is also difficult to address directly, so it’s best to focus on diet and exercise. You’ll likely have to d…

This is a very good list. I'll add my to 2 cents to this. 1. Don't do any addiction. Alcohol, Psychedelics nothing. That's another spiral you won't be able to climb out from. 2. Taking some time off is the easiest way to figure out your l life. You will soon be able to realise your priorities in life. I'd say 2 months is good enough a time. But the most important thing is to not attempt doing any work stuff during th…

"Don'd do any addiction" is unfortunately a lot easier said than done.
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