The Zen of Drinking Alone • Hacker News Board

Re: The Zen of Drinking Alone

#61

Post by jimmaswell » Sat, Jan 15, 2022, 11:16 PM UTC

TigeriusKirk wrote: post #19

pelagicAustral wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

- From "Social and Cultural Aspects of Drinking" [0]: "The most important of these cross-cultural constants in the social norms governing alcohol use is the near-universal taboo on solitary drinking. The fact that drinking is, in almost all cultures, essentially a social act, is recognised throughout the anthropological literature, and ethnographic data from a wide range of cultures indicate that solitary drinking is…

"drinking with others tends to spark joy and even euphoria, while drinking alone elicits neither—if anything, solo drinkers get more depressed as they drink." I wonder how much of this is "set and setting", something that is well known with other drugs. Maybe people tend toward depression when they drink alone because that's what they expect to happen?

> "drinking with others tends to spark joy and even euphoria, while drinking alone elicits neither—if anything, solo drinkers get more depressed as they drink."

Never been the case for me, even when I used to do it a bit too often.

Re: The Zen of Drinking Alone

#62

Post by Aloha » Sat, Jan 15, 2022, 11:17 PM UTC

donw wrote: post #49

Aloha wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have very strict rules I follow for alcohol consumption, if for no other reason than I'm the son of a man who was a functioning alcoholic for most of his life. I've read the big book, and consider it a source of wisdom, even if I perhaps don't follow all of the tenants contained within. The serenity prayer, which is AA adjacent if not (now) directly part of the AA wisdom is my personal lodestar, it's great wisdom o…

What tools do you, or other HNers for that matter, have to share about breaking alcohol addiction? Especially covering the hard parts: what are the major hurdles to overcome?

For me, reading the AA Big Book[1] was a powerful start. I actually went to meetings for a while, and while I realized I had the same tendencies as the people there, I mostly had a problem with binge drinking. I created rules around alcohol consumption which I follow with some loose structure that helped a bunch.

I found the Personal Stories/Testimonies section to be pretty relevant for me, others may find other things. AA fundamentally is the best tool you can find to get you sober, and keep you sober, but it in some ways IMO, works as an addiction transference program. But if you need to stabilize your life, and find your own path to permanent sobriety, AA is literally the best tool you can find to do it.

[1]https://www.aa.org/the-big-book

Re: The Zen of Drinking Alone

#63

Post by watwut » Sat, Jan 15, 2022, 11:19 PM UTC

jjulius wrote: post #43

watwut wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How? I was in cinema alone and no one cared. No one said a word to me.

Not the person you replied to, but a great example is my now-wife. When we had started dating over a decade ago, she thought I was nuts for going to see a movie by myself while I waited for her to finish her shift at work nearby. She genuinely couldn't believe I was doing that and thought I was weird for it. Obviously things worked out, but yeah.

It is not shunned tho. It is weird because most people go to cinema only because friends do, they don't see difference between cinema and watching at home. Just more expensive.

Re: The Zen of Drinking Alone

#64

Post by pram » Sat, Jan 15, 2022, 11:20 PM UTC

dvt wrote: post #45

It's funny reading this article in the middle of dry January (I've been observing the informal month since college). Tangential to the article, but the weirdest thing about not drinking is realizing that you don't even like some of the people you hang out with when you drink.

Hilarious! It can very much be the opposite too. I know a guy who is an in-denial-alcoholic (I can't remember the last time he was really sober) and he's just become such a piece of shit over the years he has basically alienated everyone in our social group. It's sad and yet bringing it up isn't even worth the trouble since it just creates an angry defensive meltdown.

Drinking alone might be fun but, seems like if you let it go on long enough you won't have an alternative to being alone.

Re: The Zen of Drinking Alone

#65

Post by glogla » Sat, Jan 15, 2022, 11:21 PM UTC

My only drinking alone is I have a glass of Glenfiddich when someone I care about passes away. I'm in the middle of second bottle since I started.

Re: The Zen of Drinking Alone

#66

Post by jvandonsel » Sat, Jan 15, 2022, 11:24 PM UTC

In the immortal words of George Thorogood:

  “I drink alone, yeah
   With nobody else
   Yeah, you know when I drink alone
   I prefer to be by myself”

Re: The Zen of Drinking Alone

#67

Post by CrazyStat » Sat, Jan 15, 2022, 11:25 PM UTC

throw_away wrote: post #53

Aloha wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No one shuns reading alone, listening to music alone, or watching a movie alone. Drinking alone is more dangerous than drinking with friends.

> No one shuns…listening to music alone This wasn't always the case (before the Sony Walkman introduction in 1979): "The idea that a person could listen to music on his own was strange and novel. In Capturing Sound: How Technology Has Changed Music, Mark Katz mentions that in 1923, Orlo Williams compared someone listening to recorded music alone to “sniffing cocaine, emptying a bottle of whisky, or plaiting straws in…

Many centuries ago reading alone (i.e. silently rather than aloud) was viewed with similar suspicion. In his Confessions St. Augustine defends his friend St. Ambrose for his strange habit of reading silently.

Re: The Zen of Drinking Alone

#68

Post by Aloha » Sat, Jan 15, 2022, 11:26 PM UTC

elric wrote: post #46

Aloha wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No one shuns reading alone, listening to music alone, or watching a movie alone. Drinking alone is more dangerous than drinking with friends.

I think all of your statements need to be taken with a large pinch of salt. Plenty of people will give you the stink eye if you're by yourself in public. Some arse once loudly informed me I was a loser for being at the movies by myself. That happened once, but it was enough to make me realize that some people really can't fathom the idea of people having fun by themselves. Drinking with friends is likely to be much m…

Everyone has their own set of experiences. I'm just an average guy living in the United States. I am particular, tall and large, so people may not want to challenge me much.

Re: The Zen of Drinking Alone

#69

Post by kerneloftruth » Sat, Jan 15, 2022, 11:26 PM UTC

I drink alone, and have decided it's the best path for me (YMMV).

I see alcohol as a "frenemy", of which I'm OK with so long as I remain leery of it. There is no "healthy" amount of alcohol to consume -- it's basically poison. Rather, I see it as "not ununhealthy" to consume small amounts, in strict moderation. For me, that's at most 2 Ol' Fashions on weekends (Fri,Sat,Sun) - each measured (1.5 oz). I want no daily relationship with it, and I also want no drinking buddies (where drinking is a purpose/sub-purpose being together). I don't want to talk about booze, or times spent drinking. Outside of that, my strict rule is: alcohol is never allowed for stress relief, only for celebration.

I think this view and rule set make me a pretty boring, weird drinking companion for others, anyway, so it's likely best for all. I grew up with alcoholism destroying lives all around me, which I guess led me to distrust it. I regard it as healthy distrust.

Re: The Zen of Drinking Alone

#70

Post by pjmorris » Sat, Jan 15, 2022, 11:28 PM UTC

Aloha wrote: post #31

okareaman wrote: post #8

I agree with everything in this article. Drinking alone is the best, particularly if you like to write while listening to music. The flights of fancy I used to go on! I wish I could still do it, but I found myself waiting for the liquor store to open up at 7:00 am to get rid of the shakes. Then when I tried to stop I couldn't. Long story short, after several rehabs, more stints in mental health lockup than I care to…

I have very strict rules I follow for alcohol consumption, if for no other reason than I'm the son of a man who was a functioning alcoholic for most of his life. I've read the big book, and consider it a source of wisdom, even if I perhaps don't follow all of the tenants contained within. The serenity prayer, which is AA adjacent if not (now) directly part of the AA wisdom is my personal lodestar, it's great wisdom o…

> From it I ascertained that the first two questions one should ask are when encountering something in life are, "is this actually important?" and "is this a problem I can actually solve or make a meaningful difference in helping solve?" - anything one can answer "no" to either of those questions one should just let go of, and try to focus one's energies on other problems.

This puts succinctly something I try to practice that I likely got from the same source. My parents were both in AA for the entire time I knew them and I was carried along to many meetings and, later, went along with them of my own volition. I have a great respect for the organization and, especially, the people humble enough to recognize their need for support.