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The Zen of Drinking Alone

drunkard.com

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Re: The Zen of Drinking Alone

#31

Post by Aloha »

okareaman wrote: post #8

I agree with everything in this article. Drinking alone is the best, particularly if you like to write while listening to music. The flights of fancy I used to go on! I wish I could still do it, but I found myself waiting for the liquor store to open up at 7:00 am to get rid of the shakes. Then when I tried to stop I couldn't. Long story short, after several rehabs, more stints in mental health lockup than I care to…

I have very strict rules I follow for alcohol consumption, if for no other reason than I'm the son of a man who was a functioning alcoholic for most of his life.

I've read the big book, and consider it a source of wisdom, even if I perhaps don't follow all of the tenants contained within.

The serenity prayer, which is AA adjacent if not (now) directly part of the AA wisdom is my personal lodestar, it's great wisdom on how to deal with life's challenges.

From it I ascertained that the first two questions one should ask are when encountering something in life are, "is this actually important?" and "is this a problem I can actually solve or make a meaningful difference in helping solve?" - anything one can answer "no" to either of those questions one should just let go of, and try to focus one's energies on other problems.

Also, I'm glad for you, that you found sobriety.

Re: The Zen of Drinking Alone

#34

Post by the_only_law »

I always drink alone these days, Covid killed whatever superficial drinking groups I had joined. Though I tend to prefer to go out, as opposed to being at home. I’m stuck in the apartment for most of the day anyway.

I’ve never been bothered much by it in the past, but I think I’m quickly getting sick of it. It frankly gets boring, hanging out at bars all night aimlessly drinking. Yeah I talk people on occasion, but we’re normally a little a drunk for the conversation to be interesting or mean anything. Still I prefer if to aimlessly doing anything else, especially sitting at home.

I’ve been called out once or twice, by people curious about who I was or why I was always out alone. My relatively young age probably doesn’t help with attracting negative connotations. However, last week, I stopped by one of my regular bars, and the person next to me effectively called me out as a loser (with much nicer language, and beating around the bush). It ended up agitating me a bit because of how blatant it was. I know it, you know it, but does it really have to be announced out loud?

Re: The Zen of Drinking Alone

#35

Post by jjulius »

Aloha wrote: post #24
version_five wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think being a loner is generally seen as unusual though isn't it? I enjoy drinking alone, exercising alone, traveling alone, sitting alone, working alone. I don't really think I'm that weird by objective standards, there are also things I like doing with people (I'm married and have a family), but as a sometimes introvert, I definitely value time alone, including relaxing with a beer. Related, when I went to univer…

No one shuns reading alone, listening to music alone, or watching a movie alone. Drinking alone is more dangerous than drinking with friends.

>No one shuns ... listening to music alone, or watching a movie alone.

Hi! I'm an avid music and film lover who has been shunned for going to live music, or movie theaters, by myself. :)

Re: The Zen of Drinking Alone

#36

Post by malwarebytess »

levesque wrote: post #23
jayski wrote: post #14

there are far better and stronger drugs you can do alone for introspection. a night by yourself on shrooms could change you more than 100 nights drinking alone, without the hangover or liver damage

A night alone on shrooms sounds like it could go so wrong though.

Really overblown. Maybe in the company of others is better the first time, maybe the second, maybe if you've got a history of psychosis, but in general tripping alone is by far the best way to trip.

Re: The Zen of Drinking Alone

#37

Post by watwut »

Aloha wrote: post #24
version_five wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think being a loner is generally seen as unusual though isn't it? I enjoy drinking alone, exercising alone, traveling alone, sitting alone, working alone. I don't really think I'm that weird by objective standards, there are also things I like doing with people (I'm married and have a family), but as a sometimes introvert, I definitely value time alone, including relaxing with a beer. Related, when I went to univer…

No one shuns reading alone, listening to music alone, or watching a movie alone. Drinking alone is more dangerous than drinking with friends.

Is it more dangerous? I don't think so. It is when you already are alcoholic and drunk with friends, you will move to drink alone. And drinking a lot for social approval is very common way to alcoholism.

But beer alone vs with with friends , I am not convinced former is more dangerous.

Re: The Zen of Drinking Alone

#38

Post by Aloha »

rzzzt wrote: post #27
Aloha wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No one shuns reading alone, listening to music alone, or watching a movie alone. Drinking alone is more dangerous than drinking with friends.

Watching a movie alone in the comfort of your own home? I get that. Going to the cinema alone? Definitely shunned.

Depends on the circumstance, I used to travel for a living, and attended movies alone not infrequently, I can't recall a single occasion when someone looked at me funny, or asked me why I was there alone, nor would my friends ask "who'd you go with?".

If the topic of drinking alone comes up, there is always a warning or admonishment.

Re: The Zen of Drinking Alone

#39

Post by watwut »

rzzzt wrote: post #27
Aloha wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No one shuns reading alone, listening to music alone, or watching a movie alone. Drinking alone is more dangerous than drinking with friends.

Watching a movie alone in the comfort of your own home? I get that. Going to the cinema alone? Definitely shunned.

How? I was in cinema alone and no one cared. No one said a word to me.

Re: The Zen of Drinking Alone

#40

Post by ineedasername »

makeitdouble wrote: post #22

The article jumps a bit fast from “drinking” and “getting drunk”, when there’s a line there that some of us try to not cross, social situations included. Otherwise yes, drinking alone, just like eating alone can be wildly enjoyable. I’d also warmly recommend to people who can do it to get mildly drunk once in a while (every year or two?). Do it with a trusting partner who stays clear, and check where’s the line and h…

>jumps a bit fast from “drinking” and “getting drunk”

This is precisely what disturbed me. Enjoying a book, videogame, binge watching etc. while enjoying 1-2 drinks sipping a nice whiskey or beer, that's fine. (for men more than 2-3/day and more than 14/week total is classed as problem drinking. And the 2-3/14 is not a recommendation, it's more an absolute max)

Occasionally exceeding this daily mark? Probably no big deal. (For values of occasionally that have months in between them and never include negative consequence as a result beyond "yep, gonna need some ibuprofen and a coffee")

If you exceed 14 in a week even occasionally though, that seems a bit more problematic. Any addiction can be perniciously subtle, slowly creeping up where each tiny increment seems like no big deal. I'm guessing that a lot of people feel they can stop any time because along that incremental process, at some point they could have stopped, but when they reached beyond that point there was no sign marking the road to let them know it.

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