The Zen of Drinking Alone

Thank you! I think the first is where I first read it.

there are far better and stronger drugs you can do alone for introspection.

a night by yourself on shrooms could change you more than 100 nights drinking alone, without the hangover or liver damage

Its sad that this seems to have such an appeal. We seem to be becoming all so isolated, despite technical advancements that were meant to make us more connected. Going to a bar and talking to people that are outside your friend group, outside your "bubble", and while feeling the happy inhibition that being slightly drunk gives is healing.

It's a way of thinking I went into, and the various recent lockdowns helped quite a lot. I spend good evenings, and enjoyed it thoroughly. But I want to bring up a REALLY STRONG WARNING about it.

It's shunned in most cultures for a reason. You don't want to be the one wasted person in the polite social event, so it helps limiting how much you drink.

The article fail to mentions that alcohol is a VERY addictive substance. Not only you need more to reach the same state, but by enjoying it, you then actively look for it. I went from a few evenings a month, to a daily dose really faster than I expected. When you start to dismiss useful stuff (chores, social commitments) in favor of drinking, you are the definition of an addict. It's also very easy to deny it, but I know very few people who can hold a "dry-january" or refrain from drinking for several weeks.

I was advised to go to an aa meeting, and I went there just to prove myself that I had "no problem with alcohol". That was a huge slap in my face. Seeing others being in denial, can really help you see your own.

So while I understand (and enjoyed) the practice, I would really warn anyone wanting to try that to :

1. Challenge yourself regularly (did I successfully stop for 2 weeks ?)

2. Don't hesitate to reach out if you have the slightest doubt you can't stop.

AA[0] are wonderful people who don't judge, and going to a meeting helps tremendously if you have troubles stopping. I thought it only happenned to others for way to long.

[0] : https://www.aa.org/

I think being a loner is generally seen as unusual though isn't it?

I enjoy drinking alone, exercising alone, traveling alone, sitting alone, working alone. I don't really think I'm that weird by objective standards, there are also things I like doing with people (I'm married and have a family), but as a sometimes introvert, I definitely value time alone, including relaxing with a beer.

Related, when I went to university, I lived in residence and i remember sitting by myself at meals and having people come and basically think they were doing me a favor talking to me, because only a loser would want to sit by himself. I found it both annoying (because I wanted to be alone) and condescending (because people see you alone and come talk to you like you must have no friends) - all that to say, society seems to look at you funny if you enjoy being by yourself, so I wouldn't read too much into sllo drinking being shunned specifically.