Self-improvement is embracing your messy, imperfect life
theguardian.com
Self-improvement is embracing your messy, imperfect life
1–10 of 99 posts
Re: Self-improvement is embracing your messy, imperfect life
#2I wholeheartedly disagree with this defeatist attitude, which is supposed to magically lead to change more than actually planning and actioning chance itself.
Nowhere in life change happens without trauma. Get good at trauma and you'll get good at life.
I suggest to learn one's own limits through suffering and systematically repeated failure. It's the only way to build not only a map of current yourself, but also a trail towards your future self.
Time is ticking, memento mori, the beatings will continue until morale improves.
Re: Self-improvement is embracing your messy, imperfect life
#3This seems like the opposite of being disciplined and actual self improvement. There’s a nuanced difference between healthily dealing with your flaws and accepting them as a way to excuse inaction. I feel like the attitude in this article is part of a greater cultural trend of justifying flaws rather than working to correct them. The “fat acceptance” or “healthy at every size” movement is similar, where healthy mental attitudes slowly turned into “ask your doctors not to weigh you and to give you weight free medical care”.
Re: Self-improvement is embracing your messy, imperfect life
#4I wholeheartedly disagree with this defeatist attitude, which is supposed to magically lead to change more than actually planning and actioning chance itself. Nowhere in life change happens without trauma. Get good at trauma and you'll get good at life. I suggest to learn one's own limits through suffering and systematically repeated failure. It's the only way to build not only a map of current yourself, but also a t…
It's not defeatist at all. It's just being real.
Re: Self-improvement is embracing your messy, imperfect life
#5This seems like the opposite of being disciplined and actual self improvement. There’s a nuanced difference between healthily dealing with your flaws and accepting them as a way to excuse inaction. I feel like the attitude in this article is part of a greater cultural trend of justifying flaws rather than working to correct them. The “fat acceptance” or “healthy at every size” movement is similar, where healthy menta…
The article isn't saying you should be happy with you who you are and then never change.
Come on.
Re: Self-improvement is embracing your messy, imperfect life
#6This seems like the opposite of being disciplined and actual self improvement. There’s a nuanced difference between healthily dealing with your flaws and accepting them as a way to excuse inaction. I feel like the attitude in this article is part of a greater cultural trend of justifying flaws rather than working to correct them. The “fat acceptance” or “healthy at every size” movement is similar, where healthy menta…
The article isn't saying you should be happy with you who you are and then never change. Come on.
From the article:
> “There’s a quiet power in forgiving our flaws, missteps and perceived shortcomings,” says Madeleine Dore, author of I Didn’t Do the Thing Today: Letting Go of Productivity Guilt, out this month. “Often when we accept ourselves, we’re more likely to get the best from ourselves, because we’re better placed to look at what we need to thrive, rather than change.”
Re: Self-improvement is embracing your messy, imperfect life
#7Earlier quoted context omitted.
The article isn't saying you should be happy with you who you are and then never change. Come on.
From the article: > “There’s a quiet power in forgiving our flaws, missteps and perceived shortcomings,” says Madeleine Dore, author of I Didn’t Do the Thing Today: Letting Go of Productivity Guilt, out this month. “Often when we accept ourselves, we’re more likely to get the best from ourselves, because we’re better placed to look at what we need to thrive, rather than change.”
...that quote doesn't say "never change." It says that "look[ing] at what we need to thrive" is a "more likely" way to change, rather than trying to "look at what we need to...change."
Re: Self-improvement is embracing your messy, imperfect life
#8Earlier quoted context omitted.
From the article: > “There’s a quiet power in forgiving our flaws, missteps and perceived shortcomings,” says Madeleine Dore, author of I Didn’t Do the Thing Today: Letting Go of Productivity Guilt, out this month. “Often when we accept ourselves, we’re more likely to get the best from ourselves, because we’re better placed to look at what we need to thrive, rather than change.”
...that quote doesn't say "never change." It says that "look[ing] at what we need to thrive" is a "more likely" way to change, rather than trying to "look at what we need to...change."
It says “rather than change”. Doesn’t that preclude change? I interpreted it as accepting flaws and looking to “thrive” in other means that don’t involve fixing those flaws.
Re: Self-improvement is embracing your messy, imperfect life
#9This article resonates with me, but I don't think it would have when I was in my twenties. It's the kind of thing you come to realize after longer years as an adult and you see patterns play out in radically different life contexts, and then you start to grok who you really are in ways that aren't available when you've been an adult for less time then you were a child.
What I've learned about procrastination and escapism is that a lot of it is driven by neurotic feedback loops involving some meta-narrative I have about myself. But narratives are not reality, and while I'm busy overthinking those things I'm no use to myself or anyone else. Some of these tendencies are hard-wired in me, but by recognizing the pattern I can nudge myself back towards the present moment in which I am not perfect, but occasionally do good things.
Re: Self-improvement is embracing your messy, imperfect life
#10Earlier quoted context omitted.
...that quote doesn't say "never change." It says that "look[ing] at what we need to thrive" is a "more likely" way to change, rather than trying to "look at what we need to...change."
It says “rather than change”. Doesn’t that preclude change? I interpreted it as accepting flaws and looking to “thrive” in other means that don’t involve fixing those flaws.
No it's not a logic problem, it's human behavior. The point is that while you are beating yourself up about not changing you are also not changing. Or as Yoda would put it: "do or do not, there is no try".