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Procrastinatory Doom Loops

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Re: Procrastinatory Doom Loops

#121

Post by noduerme »

netizen-936824 wrote: post #106
drakonka wrote: post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is interesting since it reminds me of the dynamic I have with my boyfriend as well. We seem to be opposites in this regard. I work better alone. Having someone else there, even if they aren't purposefully distracting me, just adds another tiny bit of awareness: Is he hungry? Is he bored? Does he want coffee? We haven't had lunch - should I cook? I should tidy. I feel like when there's a guest in my house I need…

I have a similar issue. Its hard for me to get work done when there are other people around whether its at my place or someone else's. Just the fact that another person is there can be super distracting to me and it makes it difficult to get into a flow state. This is a problem I don't know how to deal with honestly, besides just not working on important stuff when around other people. It does impact me a little at w…

If you work freelance with someone who's also your lover, I highly recommend going to a cafe where you can sit across the table and literally only talk about (1) work or (2) a brief, funny thing you saw on the internet, which I don't want to bother you with but it's so good you have to stop for 30 seconds and see it. During your work hours. And where you can otherwise ignore each other, or go on a walk alone, or read a book, and there are servers to bring you coffee or food so you don't have to do it for yourself or each other. And then you finish and you don't take the work home with you. Tip your waiter well.

[edit] This presumes you are really good at working with random conversation happening around you. To me, it actually helps me focus if there's chatter going on. But it really helps if the chatter is in a language I don't understand well.

Re: Procrastinatory Doom Loops

#123

Post by jacquesm »

Moru wrote: post #120
jacquesm wrote: post #98

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's an interesting observation: yes, I do get stuff done, in the end. But the path to it is usually long, torturous and leads along many places that weren't the destination along the way and plenty of that could be avoided. And quite a few of my achievements are probably the result of procrastinating on something else! I wonder how the real achievers (Fabrice Bellard?) deal with these sort of things. And also: wha…

Pay someone to do the VAT filing for you. There are people that actually likes to play with that stuff so why don't you do the things you enjoy doing? Ok, I have no idea how much work the VAT stuff is, I'm not from US. But in general, remove the unneeded stress from life and enjoy it instead. Don't try to be a success, it's OK to just get along with life and family. Live on one salary if you can, split the time 50/50…

I do. But even that requires me to hunt up all the receipts, send in all invoices received and all invoices sent. So there is always at least half a days' worth of work in there.

Re: Procrastinatory Doom Loops

#124

Post by 2-718-281-828 »

cipheredStones wrote: post #33

I spent about a third of 2021 more or less consumed by this phenomenon. In my case it was triggered by job searching: I quit my existing position, intending to do a leisurely search over a few months... and then avoided nearly everything related to the job search for over four months. (While still experiencing a ton of stress as a result of constant anxiety and guilt about it.) Once I actually started, I landed an am…

I don't think it is totally straightforward what to take away from that experience. I mean one option is to tackle everything that has to be done eventually right on instead of postponing it. But on the other hand how about learning to relax and have some trust in yourself and that things will work out. This is what I would strive to learn. And I am saying as somebody suffering from the same ailment. I experienced what you describe myself. Why so anxious, so worried all the time - I'll die eventually anyway most likely from cancer like all of us - but I cannot even relax a few months? I'm not even financially stressed.

Re: Procrastinatory Doom Loops

#126

Post by 10x-dev »

sanctified384 wrote: post #59

This is an oldie so many may already know it. But always relevant reading for my fellow procrastinators. Part 1: https://waitbutwhy.com/2013/10/why-procrastinators-procrasti... Part 2: https://waitbutwhy.com/2013/11/how-to-beat-procrastination.h... Bonus: https://waitbutwhy.com/2015/03/procrastination-matrix.html Highly recommended! While I still procrastinate this understanding has helped me control my urge tememdou…

This was an excellent read. Thank you for sharing the articles.

Re: Procrastinatory Doom Loops

#127

Post by NotVerstappen »

2-718-281-828 wrote: post #124
cipheredStones wrote: post #33

I spent about a third of 2021 more or less consumed by this phenomenon. In my case it was triggered by job searching: I quit my existing position, intending to do a leisurely search over a few months... and then avoided nearly everything related to the job search for over four months. (While still experiencing a ton of stress as a result of constant anxiety and guilt about it.) Once I actually started, I landed an am…

I don't think it is totally straightforward what to take away from that experience. I mean one option is to tackle everything that has to be done eventually right on instead of postponing it. But on the other hand how about learning to relax and have some trust in yourself and that things will work out. This is what I would strive to learn. And I am saying as somebody suffering from the same ailment. I experienced wh…

Been battling with this mindset shift myself. When I get annoyed with myself for delaying a task I try to remember the concept of "last responsible moment" from the Agile methodology books; after all I've never missed an important deadline so far, so clearly my effort-estimate calibration isn't far off.

Re: Procrastinatory Doom Loops

#128

Post by ljm »

cipheredStones wrote: post #33

I spent about a third of 2021 more or less consumed by this phenomenon. In my case it was triggered by job searching: I quit my existing position, intending to do a leisurely search over a few months... and then avoided nearly everything related to the job search for over four months. (While still experiencing a ton of stress as a result of constant anxiety and guilt about it.) Once I actually started, I landed an am…

The accountability piece is really important. So many things become easier to do, or persist with, if you've got the accountability there.

Even better if it's external accountability because it's also easy to self-sabotage.

Re: Procrastinatory Doom Loops

#130

Post by drakonka »

noduerme wrote: post #116
drakonka wrote: post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is interesting since it reminds me of the dynamic I have with my boyfriend as well. We seem to be opposites in this regard. I work better alone. Having someone else there, even if they aren't purposefully distracting me, just adds another tiny bit of awareness: Is he hungry? Is he bored? Does he want coffee? We haven't had lunch - should I cook? I should tidy. I feel like when there's a guest in my house I need…

I'm a non-eater (24-hr faster, usually this goes along with other manic, focused, driven episodes where I'm really being the best I can be at what I do). I lived for 10 yrs with my ex-gf (still my business partner and best friend) who used to have these worries about me, even though we were both working together. I was like don't worry about me, I'm fine -it was always she who needed to eat. She kind of put it onto m…

Thanks for sharing. I think in my case it's mostly like you and your ex-gf. I just have trouble internalizing the fact that I don't need to think about him while we're working. My boyfriend says he's totally fine sitting there not getting any attention when he knows we are in work mode. He _does_ have a higher requirement than what I was used to for spending quality time with each other in general, but it does not extend to work-time (according to him). It's just that on weekdays, my entire day late into the night could be work-time. I think knowing quality time is important to him is partly what makes me feel this need to pay attention to him, or feed him, or something while he's here for work. But that is a me-problem vs a he-problem.

He regularly tells me that he is fine eating one meal a day or not at all, but I still feel the compulsion to make snacks all the time when he's here. He is a big person and needs way more calories than I do to maintain his desired weight. Even though he says he's fine with not eating I see him shoveling down three times as much food as I normally do when we do eat, and then making more rice or popcorn later to top up. It makes me think "Holy crap, poor guy hasn't eaten all day and now he's starved." Which is silly, because of course he can get up and get his own food while we work if he's hungry.

I also have pets, and do enjoy their company. They are quite high maintenance, but they're cats. They come over and lick my head when they want attention and then go back to napping nearby. I could not handle children and am in awe of those who do.

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