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Procrastinatory Doom Loops

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Re: Procrastinatory Doom Loops

#71

Post by sandos »

cipheredStones wrote: post #33

I spent about a third of 2021 more or less consumed by this phenomenon. In my case it was triggered by job searching: I quit my existing position, intending to do a leisurely search over a few months... and then avoided nearly everything related to the job search for over four months. (While still experiencing a ton of stress as a result of constant anxiety and guilt about it.) Once I actually started, I landed an am…

I was going to mention doing things in pairs really helps, or maybe just mentioning plans to others.

Me and my fiancee are both slackers in general, but when we start even discussing doing a project aorund the house or similar which is in any way together we always give it 100%.

Re: Procrastinatory Doom Loops

#72

Post by MandieD »

eitland wrote: post #52

I have plenty to do but the last few years I've done a smart thing to avoid this for smaller tasks: If someone comes with a small request that I want to help them with I do two things: 1. make sure following up on it is their responsibility. I'll do it, not be PM for it. 2. for really small things, bring it to my house at a time we agree on and wait until it is done. Nothing gets left here for me to look at "whenever…

Just wanted you to know that you've made my life a bit better today.

"I'll do it, not be the PM for it" -> a great, more positive rephrasing of what I often tell people for this sort of thing: "please bother me until I get back with you about it."

And the second is a brilliant filter for how much someone truly needs/wants something "small".

Re: Procrastinatory Doom Loops

#73

Post by NackerHughes »

cipheredStones wrote: post #33

I spent about a third of 2021 more or less consumed by this phenomenon. In my case it was triggered by job searching: I quit my existing position, intending to do a leisurely search over a few months... and then avoided nearly everything related to the job search for over four months. (While still experiencing a ton of stress as a result of constant anxiety and guilt about it.) Once I actually started, I landed an am…

Well that's all well and good for those who have somebody who loves them. What if you're single? Guess we're all doomed.

Re: Procrastinatory Doom Loops

#74

Post by cipheredStones »

low_tech_love wrote: post #69
cipheredStones wrote: post #33

I spent about a third of 2021 more or less consumed by this phenomenon. In my case it was triggered by job searching: I quit my existing position, intending to do a leisurely search over a few months... and then avoided nearly everything related to the job search for over four months. (While still experiencing a ton of stress as a result of constant anxiety and guilt about it.) Once I actually started, I landed an am…

If you landed a good job afterwards, I’d say those four months were necessary and even beneficial. Sometimes your body/mind will simply force you to stop, and procrastination can be one of their tricks to convince you to do it.

I'm quite sure that they were not: anxiety-driven avoidance is far more stressful and exhausting for me than any fruitful work. And having a constant feeling that you ought to be making up for lost time is a serious bar to genuine relaxation.

I did need a break after my last job, and it's very possible that contributed to the problems I had, but this was definitely a bug, not a feature.

Re: Procrastinatory Doom Loops

#75

Post by wayanon »

cipheredStones wrote: post #33

I spent about a third of 2021 more or less consumed by this phenomenon. In my case it was triggered by job searching: I quit my existing position, intending to do a leisurely search over a few months... and then avoided nearly everything related to the job search for over four months. (While still experiencing a ton of stress as a result of constant anxiety and guilt about it.) Once I actually started, I landed an am…

Reminds me of the 'study with me' YouTube videos - try some, it's weird!

Re: Procrastinatory Doom Loops

#76

Post by Cthulhu_ »

cipheredStones wrote: post #33

I spent about a third of 2021 more or less consumed by this phenomenon. In my case it was triggered by job searching: I quit my existing position, intending to do a leisurely search over a few months... and then avoided nearly everything related to the job search for over four months. (While still experiencing a ton of stress as a result of constant anxiety and guilt about it.) Once I actually started, I landed an am…

I can relate to working with others. So far in the WFH pandemic I've been mostly all right, but I work so much better in a team, with someone actually telling me what to do, what they expect, instead of me having that responsibility myself.

I'm guessing it's a 'subservient' personality trait of sorts. Others are 'natural' leaders, good at keeping an overview of what needs to be done and distributing that. Others are self-motivated and driven and make amazing things all on their own. And all of those probably fit in a venn diagram.

Re: Procrastinatory Doom Loops

#77

Post by chousuke »

TechBro8615 wrote: post #15
copperx wrote: post #2

That's me. And still in the same loop after several ADHD medications; this makes me think that it's not something that can be solved by a pill. I hope I can solve this someday. My coping mechanism is to never commit to anything (outside work obligations).

The pills help but motivation is not some emergent property of normality. You first need to care about, and genuinely want to do, the task required to accomplish your goals. I’m a fan of this quote from Steve Jobs – (paraphrasing) “every day you wake up and look in the mirror, do you like what you’re doing that day? If not, it’s time to do something else.” The other quote I like is Jeff Bezos and his “picturing mysel…

That advice does not resonate with me; I can definitely see the point, but the how of getting myself to do "something else" (whatever that could be) consistently escapes me.

Thinking about how I might regret things I haven't done just gives me worse anxiety, not motivation to start doing stuff.

I'm also not sure how you're supposed to "be happy" if you already aren't. Controlling emotional states is not something you can actually directly do rather than trying to affect them indirectly through behaviour and exercises.

Re: Procrastinatory Doom Loops

#78

Post by _0ffh »

jrowen wrote: post #24

When I first heard the term "doom scrolling," I thought it was something along these lines. Scrolling some feed or another, past the point when you should have moved on, to avoid confronting these types of tasks for just a bit longer. That to me feels like a much deeper and more terrifying doom than simply reading bad news.

It seems to me that doom scrolling is the web equivalent of old TV's zapping phenomenon, where people just keep cycling through the stations in the hope that on some channel something interesting will pop up, sooner or later.

Re: Procrastinatory Doom Loops

#79

Post by a-dub »

NackerHughes wrote: post #73
cipheredStones wrote: post #33

I spent about a third of 2021 more or less consumed by this phenomenon. In my case it was triggered by job searching: I quit my existing position, intending to do a leisurely search over a few months... and then avoided nearly everything related to the job search for over four months. (While still experiencing a ton of stress as a result of constant anxiety and guilt about it.) Once I actually started, I landed an am…

Well that's all well and good for those who have somebody who loves them. What if you're single? Guess we're all doomed.

nah. you can have non-romantic accountability partners.

in fact, i'd say it's more the norm than the exception. (and often sort of emergent and far from the phrase "accountability partner", which is a bit formal)

Re: Procrastinatory Doom Loops

#80

Post by wruza »

You can improve your PDL. Procrastination starts with a permissive thought, like "okay later" or "it isn't that bad yet" or "wait, a new episode, that's important". After thinking this, or in advance, make a list of 5-10 things you usually, in practice, do/think/feel to do your routine. E.g. I want to clean up my room, what do I usually do:

1. Get up and look around

2. Decide what goes where

3. Foreach: take it, go, put it there

4. Optimize movement by buffering items that go to the same place

5. Feel bad when you have to go the same route twice, because you forgot something at the first trip

Now mark important points and points you don't want to do. The former hides your vulnerability, the latter shows it. E.g. you have a chronic lower back pain and a low muscle tone from sitting all day, which makes you want 4 and stops from 3, because that involves bending over and feeling pain. Now guess what? You've found a problem: fix your back pain and sign up for a gym.

Now you don't want to go to gym, rinse, repeat.

Eventually you'll find out some deadlock like "I can't afford a gym and a doctor because my room demotivates me to get a job", but at least now you are aware of the issue. Or you may conclude that you don't really like your physician and maybe it's time to go check another one.

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