Please Note: This might seem critical but I'm just pointing out three problems i.e. lack of effort, lack of measuring effort and other statistics, lack of empathy with customers.
My argument would be that without at least 2 of these 3 the OP will keep running into problems and keep blaming extrinsic meaningless things.
*
Credit to the person (aaron?) for writing this. However, the lack of measured numbers is terrifying. And the disconnect with the customer perspective is just hard to fathom.
1) How much time did you spend on this? Over what period of time?
2) How much traffic did you get? How many people bought coupons? How many people went to other sites from your sites?
3) What amount of money did you spend? On what areas?
What amount of money did you make? From what sources?
*
You say that you didn't listen to your customers. My point would be that you didn't realize that you were making something FOR THEM and not for you.
You should consider thinking from your customers' perspective.
They really don't care about some of the things that you think are successes i.e. using hosted services and learning Ruby and the site being BEAUTIFUL because you think a site being beautiful is important to you personally.
Unless Indianapolis is 99% users of HackerNews.
*
You say that you were shocked that small business owners don't track things - yet you write this post without giving any figures. Which makes a great post meaningless because we don't know what 'You had no skin in the game' means.
Did you spend 40 hours a week after doing your day job? Did you do that for 3 full years?
Did you put in $100K of your own savings?
*
Finally, you went into a space where you had very few competitive advantages - not the first mover, not the best product, not the most money, not the most resources, no brand recognition.
If you had tried a niche within coupons or a new area you might well have seen much better results.
Also, you don't mention anywhere how much total time and effort you spent on this which makes it difficult to know whether your lessons are worthwhile or not.
If you spent 10 hours a week for 6 months - then obviously all your 'learning' is probably useless.
If you spent 40 hours a week for 2 years - then it's very valuable stuff.
which one is it?