Ask HN: How do you have fun without alcohol?

If neither you or your friends can have fun without alcohol, you probably need a new set of friends as well as a therapist to talk through that issue.

If you're instead asking what other illicit substance you can substitute alcohol for while your friends are all drinking, that's different.

My favorite for that is MDMA. It's an empathogen so it helps you open up in conversations and form deeper connections with people. It's also an amphetamine so you'll be able to stay awake and keep up with your friends as they do the drunk thing.

MDMA should be a substitute for drinking. Not a supplement to it. It also comes with it's own set of risks and constraints that you should get intimately familiar with if you want to do it with any regularity.

Back in the day, I had the same issues.

I ended up into outdoor solo sports [Mountain Biking, Snowboarding, and Skateboarding].

Side note: As a result, I got better friends that were into outdoor activities.

There are so many variables that it's hard to have a precise answer to that question but it might be anywhere from very simple to very complex: if you just drink because your friends drink and they don't want to stop: they are no longer your friends. Stop drinking, get new friends. (while this is the simplest answer, it's not a simple task at all) If you can't stop drinking even without your friends, it might not just be the friends that are preventing you from having fun without alcohol.

Make a few choices or answers available for yourself first;

  - Do *I* want to drink
  - Am I actually having fun while drinking
  - Are there other things I could be doing

If you don't want to drink but do it anyway (for whatever reason i.e. ), then you still don't actually want to drink.

If you are just idling by when drinking doing or joining whatever is happening around you (autopilot essentially) then you might feel uninhibited, comfortable or part of a group, but is that really the same as fun?

If there are other things you could be doing but you're constantly drawn to drinking with your friends, you could still be doing those other things; the attraction to what you already know doesn't have to eliminate everything else.

Even if you can't get any definitive answers for yourself, just thinking about it (like you probably did when asking this question) can be enough to start finding help. And help doesn't have some universal definition or steps to take. It doesn't have to be big or a complete plan either, just a starting point, an ignition to do something about a situation you don't like is all it takes to help yourself.

For a less vague comment, information on your social context would be needed like what governmental or non-profit options are available where you live, or if you have the means, private options as well.

If you live in a country with universal healthcare you're probably going to have a very easy to try starting point: your General Practitioner or Family Doctor. If needed, write down your issue, and desired to do something about it and make an appointment. They won't be able to magically cure you or something like that but they will know who you can go to for help. Sometimes even the nursing or assisting staff and maybe even the reception will have general information available as well if you feel like asking a doctor is too big of a step.

I come from the land of Wisconsin where we have more bars than grocery stores in 90%+ of our counties, by far the highest proportion in the country. I can sympathize.

My advice is honestly to just keep drinking with your friends but keep yourself to a couple drinks max. You can still go out with your friends and play darts, but you won’t be useless the next day. Nobody will care. Get a sprite after you’ve hit your limit. Don’t abandon your friends over alcohol unless you really have a problem and are day drinking.

If you try this and can’t do it, then you need to reach for nuclear options like moving away from your friends. But don’t reach for that first.

There are lots of activities that require you to be sober. Try flying, it super hard and you need to be in top mental condition. Learn acrobatics and you need to be in top physical condition too. Literally choose things where choosing alcohol is also choosing failure at that thing. Soon, you will have new skills and new friends that don't drink. Good luck and keeps asking around, there are lots of people that have learned the knowledge you are seeking.