Ask HN: How do you have fun without alcohol?

Do fun things that don't require alcohol?

Go cycling, rafting, build stuff, etc. One way I've participated in many large parties and events is by "working" them. So if I'm running around with heavy equipment or driving things or doing something I can't do while drinking, then I won't drink.

I think people end up drinking because the activities they're doing are kindof boring. Sitting in a bar is pretty boring, board games are extremely boring.

But then on the other hand: drinking alcohol is a lot of fun. So I think it's probably a lot healthier to just have a healthy relationship with it, as opposed to abstaining completely (unless there is a medical reason or something).

>You need a new group of friends, firstly.

This is absolutely horrible advice. Alienating yourself from all of your friends simply because you don't want to drink the same things as them is not a good idea.

If you don't want alcohol, then just don't drink it? I have been to many, many, many music festivals, parties, etc. and not drank anything. I can't imagine just exiling myself from all of my friends instead of simply not drinking something.

(Obviously if you have a medical condition or something, or a history of addiction, then this might not apply)

edit: there are many replies to me talking about addiction and accusing me of encouraging an addict to engage with their addiction. I'm not. I said it above, but if you have a history of addiction, or if this is an addiction problem, obviously this advice does not apply, and you should distance yourself from addicts.

Totally anecdotal, YMMV - but in my late 20s I drank an awful lot. (Probably) Not problem drinking, but we'd go out 3 or 4 times a week and I'd get pretty drunk on most of them. I also enjoyed (and still do!) a casual drink - particularly back then just sitting in a pub with a book while I had a few pints.

From time to time I went through phases where I challenged myself to just cut booze completely for a month. Often I liked how I felt at the end of the month, so it would roll for a few more weeks, until (usually something like) I was having dinner with someone and thought "I'll have a glass of wine".

Assuming you have no actual addiction to alcohol, it felt to me like I couldn't have fun for about 2 weeks, especially if everyone else was drinking. Then I realised that I could have fun and I was just self conscious. And then I'd either let myself go a bit and enjoy the evening, or realise that really drunk people are borderline intolerable and go home. Either way worked and no one cares in the morning.

Basically what I'm saying is you don't need to 'replace' anything, you just need to power through with not drinking for a few weeks - if you're used to doing something - going out and drinking, then going out without drinking will feel weird so you have to learn to enjoy it differently.

As an aside, "I'm on antibiotics so I can't drink but still wanted to come out" is an easy get out clause in the first few weeks if your friends are hassling you to 'get on it'.

In my opinion, at this point in your life, you don't need to write off alcohol entirely until you've spent time away from it. Unless you're pathologically alcoholic, alcohol in itself isn't a bad thing.

Try occasionally taking time off from it. Have a week where you don't drink at all, then allow yourself to drink moderately, and repeat. Perhaps you can go even longer than a week. That way life without alcohol stays familiar.

In terms of fun without it, if you think you can't have fun without alcohol, that may mean you just don't know what's fun for you yet. Try participating in different activities, including things you think you won't like, and maybe you'll stumble across something you'll enjoy.

I think one's relationship with alcohol is much healthier when there's an alternative source of pleasure.

Oh yeah, and as others here have stated, find a different friend group to branch off to. It's not that you need to completely abandon your current friends, but our social groups really determine a lot in how we feel and behave because we all have a need to blend in and be a part of one. Maybe you can have you "alcohol friends", and then your friends for other things. If there can be some overlap there then great, but if your goal is to have fun without alcohol then you need to be around others on the same page as you.

Lots of people enjoy sports (watching and playing), video games, hiking, puzzles, board games, and movies without alcohol or at least alcoholism. It's possible to find others to do those things with over the internet, but don't let yourself think there's nobody to do them with IRL, as hard as that can be right now.

Find activities you enjoy that require you to be sober and/or up early. If you find a gym routine that's satisfying and requires being awake at 6AM, that puts a limit on how much you can drink. You can build a social group from those activities. Be mindful of habit clustering, some times people balance healthy habits with unhealthy ones, and drink more _because_ they're highly active.

Day is easier than night. Coffee shops are often open at night and not focused on drinking.

I find it easier to stop at zero drinks than at one. And I find it easier to defer a drink than to turn one down (even to myself). "I'll have this seltzer first, and if I still want a drink afterwards, I can have it then".

Your situation might be mostly social, but if you want something that's nice to drink and 0ABV: seltzer + bitters