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Ask HN: How do you have fun without alcohol?

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Re: Ask HN: How do you have fun without alcohol?

#51

Post by debt »

I quit drinking once for three years. Usually, your friends will ask you in the beginning to just have one drink or to just drink moderately. After about a year of no drinking, most of your closest friends and family will stop asking you entirely; even better is they'll answer other people that maybe don't know you as well aka "he doesn't drink".

After that, for fun, I basically would go to all the same places, bars, parties etc with the same friends and I'd just drink water; they'd be drinking booze. That's what I did for three years.

After about three years, I traveled abroad and I wanted to take in the full experience so I started drinking again.

Absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to stop drinking for a bit; it's a fun experiment.

Re: Ask HN: How do you have fun without alcohol?

#53

Post by eof »

This is a silly question, because it’s obvious to you and everyone that it’s easy to list infinite things that might be fun.

The question is really how to exist in that environment in a healthy way.

Most straightforward path is make new friends and take on responsibility that precludes tons of drinking.

If you yourself have become dependent on alcohol (ie if your body is physically uncomfortable unless you have a buzz) then you should nip that in the bud. As you get older and grow up you’ll see more of your peers make lifestyle decisions they find helpful.

A wholesome activity loved by many are board games. People will drink there, but getting drunk isn’t the point in the way it is when you’re partying or going to bars.

#1 advice assuming you’re not already wealthy is to get rich. The time component of compounding market gains is so powerful it is really critical to understand and exploit from when you’re young.

Typically drinking a lot will make it a lot harder to put the thought and work in to do more than coast.

If you can get obsessed with reaching financial independence, it’s the most rewarding “hobby” to master, and it will inject itself as an enjoyable priority into many aspects of your life.

Re: Ask HN: How do you have fun without alcohol?

#54

Post by donohoe »

geocrasher wrote: post #10

1) STOP DRINKING IT 2) Get new friends (seriously). If you continue to associate with the same friends, you'll have the same problem and point of view. 3) Let yourself go through the withdrawal of the "fun" 4) Get on with life, figure out what you consider without including alcohol.

I think you're skipping over his actual question:

"How do you have fun without alcohol?"

Re: Ask HN: How do you have fun without alcohol?

#55

Post by bluefirebrand »

geocrasher wrote: post #27
danuker wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Possible step 5: integrate old friends one by one into your new circle, saving them from alcoholism

Sorry, but no. Cutting ties is more important. If you look at any 12 step program, leaving the old life behind is vital. They need to find their own way. EDIT: I should have said "most recovery programs" rather than specifying 12 step. Please ignore the 12 step part and realize that I'm advising staying away from the people who are part of the OP's problem.

Any 12 step program will likely also emphasize support from friends and family.

Cutting ties doesn't have to be all or nothing, and it doesn't have to be everyone in that group. If you and a friend are both serious about quitting alcohol, they might be your best ally in quitting.

Re: Ask HN: How do you have fun without alcohol?

#56

Post by rob_c »

All are alcoholic?

Either that's extremely bad or they just really like to have a drink and you're not a fan of drinking.

From the UK that sounds like normal hanging out with people who have been able to drink for 2 years, it's still novel and they will probably do it a lot for the next few years.

Re: Ask HN: How do you have fun without alcohol?

#57

Post by yosito »

I'm 34, I used alcohol for "fun" from 19 to 29. Ended up quitting because of mental health issues. I went through a rough year after quitting, lost most of the friends I had, and started over. Now, all of my friends do other things for fun: hiking, kite surfing, traveling, dancing, biking, kayaking, paragliding... to be honest, a night out drinking sounds boring as hell to me.

My advice: quit drinking, deal with the boredom for awhile, find new friends, and do it sooner rather than later, there's a lot of fun out in the world that you're missing out on by just drinking all the time.

Also, I now suffer from permanent health issues due to my past drinking. I only drank socially, and I quit at 29! Don't believe the myth that alcohol isn't harmful. That's a recipe for having less fun in the future.

Re: Ask HN: How do you have fun without alcohol?

#58

Post by ProjectBarks »

viginti_tres, your experience is ubiquitous. I am the exact same age and have noticed a similar pattern for everyone my age. I am sure a lot of people are well intentioned but these simple solutions of finding new friends is just not that simple. Alcohol is extremely prevalent in the US. People are self medicating and using it as a form of escapism.

One thing I have anecdotally noticed is there are some parts of the US that are much more oriented towards drinking than others, such as NYC.

Re: Ask HN: How do you have fun without alcohol?

#60

Post by neom »

I was an alcoholic for the better part of 10 years. I'm 36. I ended up in hospital last year from having considerably too much "fun" with alcohol for that long, I assure you it was no fun at all. I've been sober for 6 months now, and I don't intend to go back to drinking.

The most important thing for me in finding "fun" again and filling that void, was to come to terms with why I drank, and that was to be a "different person", for me anyways.

Except I am that person, I just found it difficult to live, and alcohol helped ease that, made me feel confident, etc. Now that I don't drink I see it for what it is. I can indeed be that person without booze, I just need to learn more about... I guess who I am, and how to "channel" that person, the first step in that was stopping drinking, you literally cannot do that self discover otherwise. On the other fronts, after I stopped I continued to go out and hang out with drunk people (not popular advice, however it was important to me to prove to myself I had that control) - discovered 2 things: drunk people are pretty annoying, it's kinda in a way more fun watching everyone else when they're drunk. I don't really talk about it when I go out, I just go out, order diet cokes, and no one really notices or cares. However, going out in that setting is pretty infrequent now, once a month at best. The rest of the time I've spent working on me, reading a lot, learning new things, it's easy to burn 3 hours on the DW docs youtube. I also work on my relationships with others now, and I find more time to volunteer and do things for my community, it's a lot of fun! I feel an urge to drink near every single day, sometimes multiple times a day, if I walk by a wine store the feeling I get is hard to describe, spending time thinking about what the reward you're going to get, and then applying that to something else, helped me immensely find new fun things to do.

Do I miss going out and getting drunk with my friends who regularly go out and get drunk: sometimes.

Has it been difficult finding new friends, especially later in life: yes.

Do I have fun and enjoy life more without alcohol: absolutely.

This doc is really really really good: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RX2opvj7WE8

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