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Ask HN: How do you have fun without alcohol?

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Re: Ask HN: How do you have fun without alcohol?

#41
I'm a lifelong teetotaler.

Back in college, I would go to house parties and bars and do everything that everyone else was doing; the only difference is that I would have a Coke in my hand instead of a Rum & Coke.

That was (mostly) fine for me, because I never felt the temptation to drink, and the fun I derived was from the social enjoyment, not from what I was drinking.

But I've had friends who struggled with alcohol addiction, and for them, it was much more beneficial to change their scenery and get away from the parties and bars and clubs where drinking was a big part of the experience. Sometimes you also need to distance yourself from friends where your friendship really only works because you both like drinking together.

Stuff that seemed to work:

* Some people found that they could replace the fun from alcohol with adrenaline rushes, so they did things like power sports, skydiving, roller coasters, etc. But of course, those tend to be expensive ways of having fun.

* Others cultivated hobbies and then looked for social experiences that aligned with those hobbies. One guy loved pinball so he joined a pinball club in his city. Another joined an adult sports league.

* One guy I know, who also struggled with drug addiction, decided go in a different direction. He felt like he didn't want to replace one addiction with another, so instead he was determined to rewire his brain so he wasn't constantly chasing the next high. He did meditation, mindfulness, self-help exercises, therapy, etc.

Re: Ask HN: How do you have fun without alcohol?

#42

1) STOP DRINKING IT 2) Get new friends (seriously). If you continue to associate with the same friends, you'll have the same problem and point of view. 3) Let yourself go through the withdrawal of the "fun" 4) Get on with life, figure out what you consider without including alcohol.

This isn’t necessarily true. In college, I only drank very occasionally before I was 21. All of my friends drank. We still had a lot of fun. You don’t just sit around in a circle drinking. I’m currently doing a dry January and I still go out with my friends. There’s plenty of tasty non-alcoholic beverages.

It depends how hammered the group is getting. If everyone is pacing so they are only slightly buzzed, it can still be fun for a sober person. If people are drinking to be drunk, as they tend to do in early 20s, then the sober person will not have so much fun after a couple hours once everyone else is inebriated.

Re: Ask HN: How do you have fun without alcohol?

#43
post #31

Mountains. Be outside, wherever you are. If you're a sensation-chaser, spend time on rivers or on skis. Give a few new hobbies a try; it is okay to be a complete beginner at stuff. Learning is fun.

> it is okay to be a complete beginner at stuff

Understanding this before 30 is a super power.

Re: Ask HN: How do you have fun without alcohol?

#44
You're 23, it's not super uncommon for binge-drinking to be the center of your social world (at least in the US). I would not drop your friend group immediately, as others have suggested. Stop drinking to get trashed, and start drinking things that you enjoy the taste of. You might find that there is nothing you really like the taste of, in which case, you'll stop drinking. Personally, I enjoy a few beers in moderation. Also, cannabis.

Re: Ask HN: How do you have fun without alcohol?

#46
My guide to having a sober life.

1) Focus on good conversations and not drinks (you can get high from a good talk)

2) Excercise! A lot!

3) Focus on the music and dancing and not the bar

4) If people pressure you to drink, day you will do later ( they will forget anyways) or say you the driver

5) Have a sober partner

6) celebrate each Sunday not hungover with sports, sex or what you enjoy

7) If you are drinking to go away from problems consult a therapist

8) Try microdosing if you need extra serotonin but no hangover (warning not a medical advice, experience needed and emotional health)

9) Listen to heart what brings you long-term joy

10) Focus on nutrition often people drink when they are hungry or you get upset because you are hungry after 7 h while everyone has beer

Re: Ask HN: How do you have fun without alcohol?

#48
There are two broad approaches imho; stop drinking completely OR reduce your consumption.

I'd recommend looking at ways to have social events where people can still drink but the focus of the event is something else. The long-term goal here is that eventually you can do this events where alcohol is optional and not required for a good time.

In this case I recommend board games. It something that worked for me without realizing it. I play games such as Settlers of Catan, Azul, D&D/AD&D, etc.

I think what I am suggesting is: find activities where alcohol is unnecessary or secondary - but not the purpose of the event.

One last point: I live in NYC and have been going more to Alamo Drafthouse to see more movies. They serve beer etc. so I have an option but I'm never inclined to have more than one.

Re: Ask HN: How do you have fun without alcohol?

#49
I drank to drunkenness most nights throughout my 20s and early 30s, and then quit entirely. I wasn't really drinking to have fun. Mostly, I was drinking because it sort of made the tedium of hanging around with "friends" in bars a little more tolerable. But also, I was pretty angry and resentful, and harming myself by getting falling-down drunk relieved those feelings a little. If you have to drink to have fun, then what you're doing can't be that fun to begin with.
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