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Loving Someone with Depression

mentalhealth.org.uk

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Re: Loving Someone with Depression

#171

Post by ratww »

GlenTheMachine wrote: post #20

Depression can also manifest in different ways. One way is anger, frustration, and anxiety. My wife’s depression was like this. She would come home from work, find one thing wrong with our apartment - there were dirty dishes in the sink, the clothes hadn’t been folded - and get angry with me for not having taken care of it. The fact that I had cooked dinner and mopped the floors didn’t count. She was angry with me pr…

Wow, I went trough exactly the same thing. Even the examples were eerily similar: a couple dirty dishes on the sink would turn into an argument. A minor positive comment was an insult that would totally ruin her day.

I'm surprised by how many people go trough the same. This seems to be more widespread that one would assume.

Re: Loving Someone with Depression

#172

Post by [deleted] »

hemloc_io wrote: post #72
GlenTheMachine wrote: post #20

Depression can also manifest in different ways. One way is anger, frustration, and anxiety. My wife’s depression was like this. She would come home from work, find one thing wrong with our apartment - there were dirty dishes in the sink, the clothes hadn’t been folded - and get angry with me for not having taken care of it. The fact that I had cooked dinner and mopped the floors didn’t count. She was angry with me pr…

Going to take a different, probably controversial perspective on this. (But this is my pseudo anon account so whatever;) I had a similar thing happen with my long time girlfriend, 5+ years. She had a rough childhood and covid measures eventually made her suicidal as we graduated college. Eventually she got treatment, and is doing better (yay!). This is all great other than the meds have now evened her out too much. S…

[deleted]

Re: Loving Someone with Depression

#173

Post by YXNjaGVyZWdlbgo »

bigyikes wrote: post #26
okareaman wrote: post #10

My own major debilating depression was such that I couldn't get out of bed other than to use the toilet. Worse than that I could see no reason to get out of bed and didn't care to get out of bed. Taking a shower and getting dressed was out of the question. I knew the strain I was causing in my family, but since I didn't feel anything, I couldn't feel enough empathy for them to do anything about it. I knew I used to l…

Did you always know it was bipolar depression? If not, what eventually made you realize it was bipolar depression and not major depression?

The diagnoses is most of the time not that easy. I was diagnosed really early with 16 after a suicide attempt with 13. I was diagnosed with MDD and ADHD at the time and the SSRI and amphetamines stimmed me right into my first manic episode with psychosis. If you are BP 1 and have psychosis while in a manic episode the diagnosis comes pretty fast. If you are BP 2 the diagnosis can be a lot harder because most of the time when people come out of a depressive episode they just feel "normal" before spiraling and getting erratic when in hypomania.

Re: Loving Someone with Depression

#174

Post by [deleted] »

kindadepressing wrote: post #19

I’ve been depressed for 6 or 7 years. I’m 23 now. It doesn’t seem like it’s going to end. I’ve been in a challenging episode for the past few weeks. I have been fortunate to be able to take a week and a half off work. I thought it would be relaxing, but all I’ve done is lay in bed. My girlfriend lives with me, and I feel so guilty and embarrassed. I wouldn’t want to be with me. I don’t think my problems are ever goin…

[deleted]

Re: Loving Someone with Depression

#175

Post by nnoitra »

noduerme wrote: post #140
khazhoux wrote: post #24

A bit surprised no one's broached this question: At what point is it OK to leave your depressed partner? I know someone who left his depressed spouse of over 25 years. He loved her and tried to make it work, but eventually chose happiness for himself, for the second half of his life. He left her alone and essentially friendless. No easy answers there.

Quoted post unavailable.

What an utterly retarded opinion.

Re: Loving Someone with Depression

#176

Post by YXNjaGVyZWdlbgo »

R0b0t1 wrote: post #136
asveikau wrote: post #46

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not op, but I lived with a bipolar patient and had a relative who was schizoaffective, bipolar subtype. It's pretty common for bipolar patients to be misdiagnosed as having depression because mania or hypomania "feels good" and they don't seek treatment until they crash into a depressive episode. Or sometimes the mania just emerges later in life, as the course of the illness can vary and develop over the years, so ma…

I see a lot of people talking about their bipolar diagnosis that has no or very little manic component. Why call it bipolar then? It's just cyclical major depression.

There are different forms of Bipolar the most publicly known form is BP1 with Psychosis or what people call the manic component. People with BP2 (they never get really manic or get psychosis) have episodes that are called Hypomania which are debilitating for some even more than manic episodes. Here is a nice chart at how these hypomania episodes feel. https://imgur.com/a/9d0MrnD

Re: Loving Someone with Depression

#178

Post by wayoutthere »

bigyikes wrote: post #26
okareaman wrote: post #10

My own major debilating depression was such that I couldn't get out of bed other than to use the toilet. Worse than that I could see no reason to get out of bed and didn't care to get out of bed. Taking a shower and getting dressed was out of the question. I knew the strain I was causing in my family, but since I didn't feel anything, I couldn't feel enough empathy for them to do anything about it. I knew I used to l…

Did you always know it was bipolar depression? If not, what eventually made you realize it was bipolar depression and not major depression?

One of the differentials is that SSRIs generally send you into a manic or even psychotic state rather than a “baseline”.

Re: Loving Someone with Depression

#179

Post by the-dude »

Somehow I enjoy HN the most as threads such as this develop and lots of people express their struggles, doubts and their vulnerabilities. This is brave, and appreciated.

I just want to add this to thread : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codependency

I am surprised it hasn't come up yet.

Re: Loving Someone with Depression

#180

Post by eloeffler »

standardUser wrote: post #30

Having helped a person through a severe depressive episode that lasted many months, I have to say there is a lot more to it than this article suggests. Sometimes I had to talk and not listen, because I needed my partner to eat for the first time that day, or needed to coerce them to keep their doctor or therapy appointments because if they didn't, they would rapidly end up disconnected from any professional care. I f…

The biggest respect for your hard work (as well for the person that you helped, of course). This article kind of suggested that it contains advice for the people that provide care, but it still misses their personal perspective and what they can do to care for themselves. It is often also especially hard to find advice for people who become caregivers in a relationship that is not inherited / biological but rather voluntary.

I hope you had a good network of people to support you during that time, as well.

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