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Don't Waste the Good Days

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Re: Don't Waste the Good Days

#311

Post by dudeman13 »

chii wrote: post #83
tayo42 wrote: post #69

Earlier quoted context omitted.

every post here in this post is triggering an existential crisis for me. oh what to do...

It pays to understand oneself. Why do people want _every_ fig on the tree? It's because of greed, and desire. If yo can imagine yourself be satisfied with obtaining just one of those figs, instead of only being satisfied from having it all, you'd have a much better time alive. It's the same root philosophy as finishing one project to completion, rather than start many but never finishing it to the end.

>Why do people want _every_ fig on the tree? It's because of greed, and desire

Why wouldn't people want every fig on the tree? It's because of indifference and lack of passion.

In a world where aging was solved, we could get every one of them. And it wouldn't be greed, it would be just living.

Re: Don't Waste the Good Days

#312

Post by grvdrm »

ChildOfChaos wrote: post #12
yarky wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why though ? Specially since covid, I don't see why knowledge workers can't just follow their own schedule, subject to constraints such as "meeting at x" of course. This is an attitude more than anything I'd say, the "follow the calendar" mentality doesn't have to apply to you unless you choose so.

A lot of employers still won't allow that even though it's possible. You have to be online on messaging services/contactable by email with quick response during normal hours, making it very hard to do much else in this time. Covid has meant more people working remotely, but hasn't changed working schedules that much from what i have seen here at least.

What do you mean by "won't allow"

What's "online" with a "quick response" - suppose you step away for 45 mins to work out? Is someone giving you a hard time because your response time to an email or a Slack message is not immediate? Does that question or inquiry need to be handled that quickly?

Lots of things like this seem like a failure to set expectations. We're allowed to deliberately block our calendars, right? That might mean you close your email and do an hour of work solid, or work out, or run an errand. But it's possible, with some deliberate calendar planning, and frankly transparency with those expecting something from you.

"I won't be available for the next 45 mins because [X]" is a pretty easy statement to deliver

Re: Don't Waste the Good Days

#313

Post by chillacy »

staticassertion wrote: post #165
nightowl_games wrote: post #51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I'd have played fewer video games, traveled less, and relaxed on the beach less. This seems totally opposite of what old people say on their death bed. You sound so obsessed with money here. My guess is your probably very wealthy relative to the average peer and your too naive to realize it. You have to keep telling yourself this philosophy to justify not wind surfing in Bali. You think your gonna wind surf when yo…

Lots of people I know in a generation or two above me regret not saving when they were younger. Now they're nervous about being 70 and having to retire soon but not feeling stable, or feeling that they may financially burden their children. Compounding interest on money means, as previously mentioned, money you earn at 20 will be 10x as valuable compared to money earned towards a typical retirement age. With tech hav…

The author of “Die With Zero” makes an interesting observation: Experiences do compound in a way: the longer you have an experience, the more you can surface the memory over your life, leading to memories of memories which are themselves pleasant.

Re: Don't Waste the Good Days

#314

Post by tayo42 »

SoldShort22 wrote: post #310
tayo42 wrote: post #308

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think the window of opportunity to keep traveling and exploring is closing fast, life's milestones are pretty much happening soon, buying a home, getting married and starting a family. I don't think Ill ever get a chance to live in another country besides the US, even for a short period of time. I probably should settle down at some point instead of constantly leaving friendships behind. At this point its pretty cl…

Please don't sell yourself short. Yes, your window of opportunity is closing at 31. But don't miss the forest for the trees: you still have a huge window. I always had an interest in traveling and was able to do some travel in my 20s and 30s, but nowhere near the amount that I had dreamed of. A trip at age 38 made me realize just how important seeing the world was to me and I left the US the same year. I have been li…

Thanks! Yeah there's still some chance I guess but it seems to be harder to figure out how to every day. At the same time Idk how I feel about continuing to keep pushing back the other things in my life (especially with a biological clock ticking). Not sure which sacrifices are the right ones to make.

Re: Don't Waste the Good Days

#315

Post by jussy »

ryandrake wrote: post #41

I feel like there is wisdom in "Make hay while the sun shines." When you're young and unencumbered by responsibility and family, when your cognitive abilities are at their peak, when your energy is endless, when your body is strong and healthy, when your knees work, and your fingers can type without arthritis: that's the optimal time to work and earn. Min-max that salary and stay healthy. Due to compounding interest,…

Though I like your balanced view I don't agree that life is short or long. In my experience the length seems less meaningful as opposed to the life long friend you made surfing Bali.

I took the message as set your own direction and then sieze the day. Whatever you choose to do surf or work or both.

Re: Don't Waste the Good Days

#316

Post by SoldShort22 »

tayo42 wrote: post #314
SoldShort22 wrote: post #310

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Please don't sell yourself short. Yes, your window of opportunity is closing at 31. But don't miss the forest for the trees: you still have a huge window. I always had an interest in traveling and was able to do some travel in my 20s and 30s, but nowhere near the amount that I had dreamed of. A trip at age 38 made me realize just how important seeing the world was to me and I left the US the same year. I have been li…

Thanks! Yeah there's still some chance I guess but it seems to be harder to figure out how to every day. At the same time Idk how I feel about continuing to keep pushing back the other things in my life (especially with a biological clock ticking). Not sure which sacrifices are the right ones to make.

I'd suggest there are no right or wrong sacrifices when it comes to these kinds of matters. You have to decide what you want most and go for that, and find a way to not dwell on the path you didn't take.

In terms of a biological clock, nothing prevents you from meeting someone, falling in love, and starting a family if you live overseas. Lots of expats meet partners and in many places, you'll find that a lot of expats with residency are married to locals.

Re: Don't Waste the Good Days

#317

Post by antisthenes »

moneywoes wrote: post #265
Alex3917 wrote: post #224

Earlier quoted context omitted.

35 is considered "advanced maternal age", where there is more risk to both the mother and baby. Given that it takes ~2 years to make a baby, ideally you should start having kids no later than 35 - 2n, where n is the number of kids you plan to have.

Does this go for both the mother and father?

Obviously not. For women, the clock is ticking ever so fast once they hit 30.

For men, it's really not, until they are 40+, and if in good health, even 50.

Re: Don't Waste the Good Days

#318

Post by cvlasdkv »

goodpoint wrote: post #283
blub wrote: post #261

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Grandparents are a massive help with raising kids, especially so when one doesn't have brothers or sisters.

...and?

I believe what is being said is that in non-Western/fully isolated nuclear families you have a lot of people and experiences you can rely on. So having a child at a younger age like your mid-20s is not that big of a deal.

Re: Don't Waste the Good Days

#319

Post by ip26 »

goodpoint wrote: post #250
01100011 wrote: post #170

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's tough... at 47 I'm old enough to have felt the decades past turn into a scant handful of memories. When you're older, the past matters less. The now matters more. Not being able to pay for good health care matters. Not being able to eat what you want or take vacations matters. When you're old, you realize "Oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone" and you have the now to worry about. But I…

> if you're going to have kids, have them young. There is absolutely nothing on this earth which is as valuable as the time you'll have with your children This is entirely self-centered. The kids, instead, benefit immensely from having parents with experience, emotional maturity, financial stability, better work-life balance. You might not get to meet your grand[grand]kids but this is a sacrifice parents should be wi…

I had a friend with parents who were retiring when they were in early high school. It sounded like a rather lonely childhood borne of a fifty year age gap. When they wanted to play catch with dad- well, dad was sixty and no longer spry.

Re: Don't Waste the Good Days

#320

Post by ip26 »

serjester wrote: post #91
ryandrake wrote: post #41

I feel like there is wisdom in "Make hay while the sun shines." When you're young and unencumbered by responsibility and family, when your cognitive abilities are at their peak, when your energy is endless, when your body is strong and healthy, when your knees work, and your fingers can type without arthritis: that's the optimal time to work and earn. Min-max that salary and stay healthy. Due to compounding interest,…

Here’s an interesting thought experiment for you - if you could trade 20 years of your life for 10 billion dollars, would you? Just step in a room and walk out a billionaire. I have yet to meet someone that would accept the offer. So if you do the math, they value their time at a shockingly high rate. I’d argue, trading the best years of your life for an early retirement is the same proposal. Steve Jobs would have gi…

It would be more interesting to ask how many people would trade one month for 40 million. Or six months for 250 million. It’s the same exchange rate, but I think you’d get many more takers.

I think the real problem is you’ve never met anyone who has any idea what to do with 10 billion dollars.

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