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Ask HN: How to optimize your career for happiness?

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Re: Ask HN: How to optimize your career for happiness?

#321

Post by chriseidhof »

tahnhnxfl wrote: post #262
chriseidhof wrote: post #70

I'm very happy with my career. We run a small website teaching advanced iOS development (objc.io). We write books and make videos. I run it with my co-founder and that's basically it. We have some really good people we work with, but 80% of the time it's just the two of us, and we're pretty aligned in what we want. When my daughter was born (almost 4 years ago) I switched to not working a lot. Maybe 5-6 hours a day.…

Thanks for posting this Chris, I've always wondered this about people in your position who could arguably get top positions at any top tech company of choice but choose to work on teaching instead. I can't tell you how much I appreciate objc.io, I still go back the issues from 2013-2015 for reference. Keep up the good work!

Thank you! Yeah I really do enjoy my work. I’m not sure what it’d be like working in such a position, and I'm not sure I’d be good at it :).

Re: Ask HN: How to optimize your career for happiness?

#322

Post by andreilys »

emodendroket wrote: post #287
andreilys wrote: post #142

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not sure you'd get quite the same from the things you listed, perhaps a little...? The note from your daughter, while sweet, can also come from those you help. For example, sponsoring a childrens school in India, or mentoring an orphan through a Big Brother program. I think the main point here is you are in service by helping others, instead of focusing on yourself.

It could be but realistically, is that going to be anywhere close to as moving from someone you've never met? And on their side too, they may appreciate the help, but you're not exactly going to replace their parents in their hearts. It's just a totally different level of engagement.

Big brother/sister programs are highly personal where you interact with the person directly.

I imagine it’d be incredibly fulfilling to know that you helped coach a troubled youth through a turbulent period to land in a good place.

Re: Ask HN: How to optimize your career for happiness?

#323

Post by ystad »

I have had to make these choice(s) before. Here are some of my thoughts:

Do what make you happy. A caustic workplace is not worth it. The levels at work to me are meaningless. Don't worry what other people think.

Your health (physical and mental) & happiness is priority 1. You can always save money and work with it intelligently - if you need help -- get an investment advisor.

Stress and being sedentary are two different things. Getting out of being sedentary does reduce the stress. Walking is a great way to start and it is often underrated. Have the implicit belief that it does.

Stress and anxiety is complicated. Different people (genetics etc.) react to stress and pressure in different ways. I would seek out a therapist who can help you on this.

Remember -- we are in a pandemic -- so it all adds up

Re: Ask HN: How to optimize your career for happiness?

#324

Post by samhw »

wpietri wrote: post #74
samhw wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> talking with a lot of people lets them see patterns an individual can't This is a really nice distillation of the value of talking to a therapist. I really appreciate this comment.

For sure. And I should add it may take people a few tries to find the right therapist. Because it's not just seeing the patterns, it's also being able to explain them to the individual in question.

Absolutely. My dad's a psychoanalyst, and he's always emphasised to all of us that - if you see a therapist - you're not evaluating them as a person or as a professional, you're evaluating the 'spark' between you and them. It's not an indication of fault on either part if it doesn't work out.

Re: Ask HN: How to optimize your career for happiness?

#325

Post by [deleted] »

idrios wrote: post #186
beaker52 wrote: post #176

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've always thought that a job worth doing was a job worth doing well. It's put me through a lot of pain and stress because almost no-one else feels the same way. I'm coming to terms with the realisation that for most people, a job is just a job. To others, a job is a ladder to climb in the pursuit of wealth. Neither of those are me, but I need to find a way to be content in an environment full of people like that. I…

> I've always thought that a job worth doing was a job worth doing well. Kind of off topic but this made me laugh because I once saw the phrase "anything worth doing is worth doing poorly" and I have found massive inspiration in that, as it has helped me overcome my perfectionism and just get more things done.

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: How to optimize your career for happiness?

#326

Post by throw0101a »

idrios wrote: post #186
beaker52 wrote: post #176

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've always thought that a job worth doing was a job worth doing well. It's put me through a lot of pain and stress because almost no-one else feels the same way. I'm coming to terms with the realisation that for most people, a job is just a job. To others, a job is a ladder to climb in the pursuit of wealth. Neither of those are me, but I need to find a way to be content in an environment full of people like that. I…

> I've always thought that a job worth doing was a job worth doing well. Kind of off topic but this made me laugh because I once saw the phrase "anything worth doing is worth doing poorly" and I have found massive inspiration in that, as it has helped me overcome my perfectionism and just get more things done.

Per a sibling, it is Chesterton, from his work What's Wrong with the World:

* https://www.gutenberg.org/files/1717/1717-h/1717-h.htm

An explanation:

> Chesterton consistently defended the amateur against the professional, or the “generalist” against the specialist, especially when it came to “the things worth doing.” There are things like playing the organ or discovering the North Pole, or being Astronomer Royal, which we do not want a person to do at all unless he does them well. But those are not the most important things in life. When it comes to writing one’s own love letters and blowing one’s own nose, “these things we want a man to do for himself, even if he does them badly.” This, argues Chesterton (in Orthodoxy) is “the democratic faith: that the most terribly important things must be left to ordinary men themselves – the mating of the sexes, the rearing of the young, the laws of the state.”

[…]

> In What’s Wrong with the World, Chesterton foresaw the dilemma of daycare and the working mother, that children would end up being raised by “professionals” rather than by “amateurs.” And here we must understand “amateur” in its truest and most literal meaning. An amateur is someone who does something out of love, not for money. She does what she does not because she is going to be paid for her services and not because she is the most highly skilled, but because she wants to do it. And she does “the things worth doing,” which are the things closest and most sacred to all of humanity – nurturing a baby, teaching a child the first things, and, in fact, all things.

> The line, “if a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly,” is not an excuse for poor efforts. It is perhaps an excuse for poor results. But our society is plagued by wanting good results with no efforts (or rather, with someone else’s efforts). We hire someone else to work for us, to play for us (that is, to entertain us), to think for us, and to raise our children for us. We have left “the things worth doing” to others, on the poor excuse that others might be able to do them better.

> Finally, and less heavily, we should also point out that the phrase is a defense of hobbies. […]

* https://www.chesterton.org/a-thing-worth-doing/

Re: Ask HN: How to optimize your career for happiness?

#327

Post by alfor »

suriyaG wrote: post #86
mattgreenrocks wrote: post #75

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My twenty-year-old self wasn't ready to hear this, but it's absolutely true. Fulfillment follows from meaning, and meaning flows from responsibilities we bear.

As a twenty three year old. I'm curious to know more. why take on responsibility through having children? Why not pickup any other type of responsibilty? like, community service, tutoring/helping kids from less fortunate places or in the worst case even Picking up more responsibility from work? Is it more of a genetic thing where it makes the pain of responsibility more pleasurable? I'm even more curious to know if y…

It is simply natural/biological. A bit like eating good food or having sex is pleasurable and essential but of course in a different way.

Your body is tuned for that and without it you lack something (way more true for females). You might be able to put something in its place, but it might not do the job.

Consider that when a men is in presence of youngs kids his hormonal balance change so he become more caring, more in tune to their needs. When they get older that phase out and the kids become more annoying, signaling that it’s time for them to find their way, to distantiate themselves progressively from their parents. I found out that I cannot stand anymore the kids movie I used to watch with them multiple times when they were younger.

I find also that the life in big cities is less conducive to having a family, we tend to think about the space we have (bedrooms) and size of cars to decide on family size where it should go in the other direction. If I was younger I would have move to the country sooner and have four kids instead of just two.

I think it give your life meaning to care for people that are going to outlive you. You have to think about their future, how can you help them develop in a good directions, what are their specifics needs to maximize their potential, what did you wish was done for you that you can pass on to them.

Female are more tuned to the need for kids. Most of the time they will know the right time and will push enough to make things happen.

Re: Ask HN: How to optimize your career for happiness?

#328

Post by alfor »

I think that happiness is the feeling of progress toward a goal.

we need a goal + we need progress.

One you attain a goal, the whole reward system collapse and you need something else.

People used to have religion and have ultimate unattainable goal (be the best version of themselves) so they always had something to work toward.

I think that we need something similar at this point, a hero’s journey that is worthwhile.

Re: Ask HN: How to optimize your career for happiness?

#329

Post by _theory_ »

One thing I've noticed about these quandaries: there's very little consideration for what one owes their society. Doing something in service to others may not bring an immediate 'happiness' but if you're looking for satisfaction in life, it's worth including in the balance equation.

And perhaps that's what the work you're doing can provide, if viewed from that perspective. Too many people seem to just automatically view work as soulless BS, to which I might suggest those people are simply in the wrong career.

Re: Ask HN: How to optimize your career for happiness?

#330

Post by moneywoes »

tjr225 wrote: post #246
moneywoes wrote: post #244

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What is your view on joint damage?

Is this some sort of weird gotcha or are you sincere? Joint damage is not really statistically correlated with long distance running, and anyone targeting a sub 20 minute 5k is going to have their weight and form so dialed in, it probably is barely a risk at all.

I never progressed past 30km from hearing all of these people quiting to save their knees. I wondering where that sentiment comes from if there is no correlation.
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