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Ask HN: How to optimize your career for happiness?

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Re: Ask HN: How to optimize your career for happiness?

#121

Post by throwaway-blue2 »

dmje wrote: post #50

My context: 49y/o. Salary: we have a 2-person husband/wife micro-business so "it's complicated" but I pay us £5k GBP ($6.3k usd) p/m so that's ~$80k take-home p/a. Working hours: absolute max 40 (although I'm taking a day off a week right now to do my own thing), very strict "no evenings or weekends" (apart from site launches and big deadlines of which there are about 3 a year), no work email on phone, long holidays…

Thank you for writing this, it really resonated with me. I’m moving back to Cornwall with my family after a stint working on the London grind to focus on our careers - I think there’s been some benefit to us doing that but Cornwall has always been where we wanted to raise our kids, so now we’ve got one and it’s possible we decided now is the time to do it! I can’t wait to get back, it really does feel like a different life there.

I think for us getting to the point where all of our needs are covered by our income, it’s been a learning curve to really experience that it doesn’t suddenly make you feel happy or fulfilled. It’s an absolute privilege to not be worrying about day-to-day living costs now, but I find there’s always something else to be worrying about, and easy to find yourself feeling like there just isn’t enough time to do what you really want to and not feel stressed.

Re: Ask HN: How to optimize your career for happiness?

#122

Post by heliodor »

thanatos519 wrote: post #27
pmorici wrote: post #26

Get a gym membership and go every day. If you have trouble going routinely sign up for classes or a personal trainer so you feel more obligated to go on a regular basis.

Yes! Physical fitness is super important. If you have trouble going routinely, find something more interesting, like rock climbing. Use a bicycle for personal transport if you live somewhere civilized.

I can second rock climbing, whether outdoors or inside. Its format is addictive. I also found tennis very easy to fall into. On the opposite end, there's running and swimming. They feel like misery for me personally. Others find them easy to do routinely. Just have to find what works for the individual. There are sports out there that won't feel like a chore.

Re: Ask HN: How to optimize your career for happiness?

#123

Post by optimalonpaper »

optimalonpaper wrote: post #120

Changing the perspective helped a lot, as others have said: treating job as just a job. 1. Remove stress - as I'm working with data, I tried to automate as much as I could, so I really don't have situations when you need to build a report very fast (reduces stress really well) 2. Have a back up plan - I found a part-time research assistant position which I actually enjoy and if I lose my main job, I'm not in the rush…

Then again, when you live near Russia, it's a constant stress. So the last thing I'm worried about is my job haha

Re: Ask HN: How to optimize your career for happiness?

#124

Post by tmnstr85 »

CodeGlitch wrote: post #118
suriyaG wrote: post #86

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As a twenty three year old. I'm curious to know more. why take on responsibility through having children? Why not pickup any other type of responsibilty? like, community service, tutoring/helping kids from less fortunate places or in the worst case even Picking up more responsibility from work? Is it more of a genetic thing where it makes the pain of responsibility more pleasurable? I'm even more curious to know if y…

> why take on responsibility through having children? Why not pickup any other type of responsibilty? like, community service, tutoring/helping kids from less fortunate places or in the worst case even Picking up more responsibility from work? The other day I was flicking through my notepad in my home office and found hand written notes from my 6 year old daughter saying how much she loved me. Yes kids are a massive…

Imagine what happens when it doesn't go right with children and you're in this situation. I have a daughter who caught bacterial meningitis at birth and had to have a brain surgery to solve the infection. Her existence is tragic, she is with us but she is going to have a lifetime of challenges and we've already been through the ringer. Now ever day is like waking up with a mortal wound, and to have other kids who need our help and support, its not rewarding. Add in a job where the culture is toxic and you're being persecuted for doing your job well. its not worth it... none of its worth it.

Re: Ask HN: How to optimize your career for happiness?

#125

Post by Mariehane »

stayux wrote: post #60

In 2019 I closed my company, middle size web-dev shop. I used the pandemic situation to reevaluate and rearrange my life. Turns out that I want to do product design and development. And all the experience as a business owner, product manager, etc, is coming handy when crafting new products. I have survived several burnouts in those years of pushing myself harder. Learned my lessons. Balance is the key. Physical and m…

Do you mean that if you start prioritising things differently, then that is a cause of concern? And so you take a vacation in order to 'reset' your priorities?

Re: Ask HN: How to optimize your career for happiness?

#126

Post by wasnthere »

I agree with a lot of what people have said here about a job being a job. However, my personal experience on this subject is — start with defining what happiness means for you!

This is a LOT harder than you think and in trying to answer the question you will hopefully (as I did) get in touch with yourself, your emotions, your identity, etc.

As you continually evaluate these things in trying to understand what happiness is for _you_, you will automatically have an answer to your question.

Re: Ask HN: How to optimize your career for happiness?

#127

Post by HalcyonicStorm »

toddm wrote: post #111

For me, the special part is truly viewing any job as just that: a job. I no longer assess my worth as a person as a function of job title, salary, or anything else. I take contracting work primarily and expect absolutely nothing more than a paycheck. Work is a transaction and I deliver what I can and am not a jerk. Almost every disposable penny goes toward physical fitness. My spouse happens to be cut from the same c…

This is the direction I find myself going too. I am a runner in NYC. Its also fulfilling my social needs because I am a member of multiple running clubs. I get to interact with people outside of the tech bubble from all walks of life. I also have met people who are role models for different stages in life. I now have an idea of what I want to be like in my 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s because of the people I've met since I've started running.

Re: Ask HN: How to optimize your career for happiness?

#128

Post by Stronico »

suriyaG wrote: post #86
mattgreenrocks wrote: post #75

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My twenty-year-old self wasn't ready to hear this, but it's absolutely true. Fulfillment follows from meaning, and meaning flows from responsibilities we bear.

As a twenty three year old. I'm curious to know more. why take on responsibility through having children? Why not pickup any other type of responsibilty? like, community service, tutoring/helping kids from less fortunate places or in the worst case even Picking up more responsibility from work? Is it more of a genetic thing where it makes the pain of responsibility more pleasurable? I'm even more curious to know if y…

Many things can be said but you will experience an emotional range like you've never felt before - the lows are really low and the highs are really high - plus a lot of your life will no longer be within your control, which always adds a bit of adventure to things.

Re: Ask HN: How to optimize your career for happiness?

#130

Post by jen729w »

bitlax wrote: post #59
thanatos519 wrote: post #35

Use your career/job to support your life, then get a life. Become an artist, author, clown, or build some awesome technical system because you want it to exist. GPL it. Don't ask for anything, especially not happiness, from your "career". I put it in quotes because it's conceptually bankrupt. https://www.roystonguest.com/blog/why-happiness-is-not-a-des...

And for those who are able, getting married and having children will tend to bring even more fulfillment than becoming a clown.

I’ll just chip in as someone who has never ever wanted kids, who met a lovely girl who was so thankful to also meet someone who has never ever wanted kids.

So just because you’re ‘able’ doesn’t mean that you should. Just wanted to put this here in case others think they’re weird for really, really not wanting kids. You’re not.

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