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Ask HN: 27, accidentally became wealthy, lost drive. What should I do?

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Re: Ask HN: 27, accidentally became wealthy, lost drive. What should I do?

#91
Pottery classes. Diving lessons. Travelling for years at a time.

Seriously. I've done them all. FIREd at 29. Stop playing games you can't win. And you didn't win anything only got lucky for a very brief period "cheated" the system that has no purpose and definitely doesn't care about you or anyone else.

You can afford to stop playing so stop playing and just live.

Re: Ask HN: 27, accidentally became wealthy, lost drive. What should I do?

#92
(I don't have, have never had, nor ever will have that kind of money.)

You have just earned your life's salary. Treat it as such. 7.5M Euros gives you approximately 100.000 after taxes per year for the rest of your life. Anywhere in Europe, that is a very healthy salary. So I think your focus, money wise, would be to try to stay ahead of inflation, longterm. Setup longterm investments, pay yourself a monthly 'salary'. If you want to do more startups, do them. If you want to bike from Munich to Lisbon, do that. If work is what gives you purpose, find a company/organization with a mission you truly believe in and get as well payed as you can. And start working out and start reading again. Take a deep breath.

Re: Ask HN: 27, accidentally became wealthy, lost drive. What should I do?

#93
i feel like this is a pretty common theme here at HN -- if mostly in comments. and it's often crypto folks, but sometimes just folks who won the ipo lottery.

i've long thought if i struck it rich, this is exactly what would happen to me. my buddy just reminded me of it the other day b/c i joked, when i think someone asked me, "What would you do if you won the (crypto) lottery?" (or similar), and I semi-ironically muttered, "Disaster."

and i do think it would be a disaster for me, personally, but i would try to step up to the challenge and do the best i could. i could imagine crazy anxiety, etc.

i was never _too_ afraid of getting rich because i have 'things i would like to do' and most of them are super hippie dippy, so they would never make money, never garner investment, etc.

if someone asked me 10 or 20 years ago, if i wanted to win the lottery, say, for the amount you got, i would have seriously considered a 'No', and might even have turned it down. having been depressed various times, it's basically hell on earth, and i knew one super-quick way there could be getting rich. but today i'd almost certainly say 'yes', but i would still take it very seriously -- i know 100% i'd be risking my mental health in a very real way.

if i were you, i'd find and start going to a therapist today, tomorrow, at least set an appointment for as soon as you can. tho you could eventually find your way out on your own, i would not recommend it, in part b/c, if/since you haven't already told others (i'm presuming), then you're probably just not in a good place -- you need a trusted external party to help you get your thinking clear.

too many other reasons going to a therapist is just a good idea -- one being that, the modern world is completely fucked up and too many of us are trying to navigate is alone or alone-ish. and, to me, there's no magic in sufferring -- like, suffering for sport is just self-flagellation -- there are real people doing real suffering and dying all over the world, so if you have a choice, while you still have a choice, try to get yourself better. just my opinion. learned the hard way, so i'm not 'better' than you if you decide to suffer it out, too.

and, books. read them. listen to them. etc. good, old books. new books. books like 'the power of now' (which i have not read, but sounds semi-interesting). books can have some wisdom that can save your life, and/or make it better, including better for the people you care about, or used to care about.

and, if all else fails, i'm guessing you could probably find some, let's say, small-ish but too-expensive-for-normal-people problem, and pay to fix it, ideally anonymously - you might have to figure out how to do that anonymously - might be tough, but should be semi-possible. small-ish just because that way you can get a taste - see how you feel about it.

i have no idea what this project could be, but i can imagine a thousand things.

i usually like the idea of attacking structural problems. e.g. not necessarily giving homeless people homes, but maybe trying to stem the increasing rate of homelessness by re-constituting the boarding house thing that i think used to be hella popular in the US back in the day. but that's personal pref.

you could try to figure out how to pay for a new/improved library/public space in your town - maybe improve the air exchange at the current library to improve covid safety going forward, so people could still gather (important for humans) but not die. or just pay to renovate some basketball court or soccer field/clubhouse.

maybe read up on what the former ms. bezos did with some of her cash, and even give her a call - i'm guessing you can get thru if you try - ask her about it. i mention her not because she was newly-rich, but because she has seemingly not decided to be a typical billionaire -- she actually gave a lot of her money away. that shit is _really_ fucking radical, unless someone can tell me otherwise.

i actually wonder why i haven't heard more about her, but i assume it's mainly because she's not a complete fucking freak (like most billionaires), and because she's a woman (so, hated). like, she had some headlines, maybe even a cover shoot or similar, but....a billionaire giving away their money. not only for tax purposes? and doing it with little to no paternalistic assholish controlling over-reach? that's not even possible, but presumably she did it. i feel like it sets a really bad example, so she kind of got disappeared.

yeah, and just read about people who got thrown into your situation -- the people who were successful, and those who were not. i'm guessing there are books that deal with "how to live life once you accidentally strike it rich".

one meme that seems to be pretty familiar to me, maybe even most americans, is:

  - athletes who go broke right after they're done playing
  - people who win the lottery or similar going broke, dying, getting depressed, or worse, right after winning the lottery (think i heard this from 'the happiness professor', dan gilbert, harvard -- who i think may be full of shit, but you can judge for yourself).
fwiw i think 'happiness' is kind of eh. like, it's cool, but freedom, direction, purpose/meaning -- those seem like better targets to me.

one place you are lucky -- the problems we have today are vast and manifold -- you won't have a shortage of places to spend if you're so inclined.

that said, i usually advise newly-rich to chill for a bit -- a year or two -- let it sink in -- don't throw your money away overnight, etc.

i, personally, ... i might wait a week or two, maybe a month, talk to friends, etc. -- probably start handing out cash to family and close friends pretty quickly, but i guess even that has potential big problems. yeah, i guess there are some pretty big things to consider.

thus, therapist.

good luck!

Re: Ask HN: 27, accidentally became wealthy, lost drive. What should I do?

#95
What I would do is reinvest half in safe investments to maintain independent wealth, then buy property in all the places I love, and build small (750sqft or less) but decent and interesting, though practical as opposed to luxurious, cottage residences, or just purchase a small but upscale condo if the area is urban. A place in the mountains, a place at the beach, a place in the country, places in my favorite cities and towns. I'd hire local firms (or create them) to for property upkeep and to clean and stock each before I arrive, and for security while I was away. Every place would have it's own vehicle(s) for local transportation. I'd also make certain to install my favorite restaurants within the vicinity of all the locations if they did not exist, which would provide enough residual income to cover the local property taxes, bills and expenses of the various properties. When I felt bored or blue, I'd relocate to a different cottage and settle in to the change of scenery at locations chosen for their excellent views, clean air and peace and quiet. Sometimes I'd invite friends to visit for the weekend (not too many at once, due to limited spacing and capacity) and cover their travel expenses.

Re: Ask HN: 27, accidentally became wealthy, lost drive. What should I do?

#96
I went through something similar 15 years ago. Your problem is effectively a spiritual problem.

You need to discover exactly who you are and learn to fully love yourself in order to be fully alive again. When you know yourself, your meaning and purpose become clear.

Exactly how you accomplish this is specific to you, but know that what got you here, won’t get you there.

It could be meditation, psychedelics, athletics, social volunteering, reading philosophy, travel, who knows?

Psychedelic therapy can be the most efficacious for many people and I strongly recommend reading Michael Pollan’s “How to Change Your Mind”. While all the psychedelics have the potential to positively improve your life, MDMA done in a therapeutic setting is often the easiest/most gentle and can still deliver big results.

Ask yourself what are you afraid of? What do you resent about yourself? Who are you unable to forgive? These are all the things that block you from fully loving yourself and are the types of questions that MDMA or loving-kindness meditation can gently guide you through.

There is light at the end of the tunnel and an absolutely amazing life awaits you in the future. Money does make life much easier, so use it to become the next evolution of your self.

Re: Ask HN: 27, accidentally became wealthy, lost drive. What should I do?

#97
Everyone is giving you random advice here, but I think the real think you should do is talk to a professional. You've got the cash so just make an appointment with a Therapist and chat to them about stuff. Therapy is great, It'll make you feel better.

Re: Ask HN: 27, accidentally became wealthy, lost drive. What should I do?

#98
post #70

I am not sure if I agree with all the advice here. I think the first thing you should do is celebrate. Take a month and spend it on a tropical beach, or whatever your dream location may be. If you like company, bring along some friends and pay for them. The point is to tell yourself, this is my month to relax, enjoy, and get used to things. No need to think about what to do next, just have fun. Then, when the month i…

I agree with most of this except I would set a budget for the trip: a budget higher than anything you would have imagined spending in the past but still a small fraction of your newly gained assets.

Then, when the month is over, you’ll have plenty left to work with when figuring out what you want to do.

(Safe investment should be part of what you figure out. Your risk profile should be different now if you intend those funds to be a good portion of your livelihood.)

Re: Ask HN: 27, accidentally became wealthy, lost drive. What should I do?

#99
You can certainly aspire in many ways still. Consider that if you increase your standard of living, don't combat inflation, and share this standard of living with a close group (family or otherwise) you will approach "normalcy" where your money is large but finite again. You should act to keep some wealth for retirement, and as others have mentioned humans have plenty of other problems to focus on. I'd personally go on HN co-founder matching, find someone you really like working with, and forget about the money until its time for the first funding round.

Re: Ask HN: 27, accidentally became wealthy, lost drive. What should I do?

#100
First - tell no one you made that much money. You'd be amazed who comes out of the wood work to "be your friend" at that age.

Second - check out https://old.reddit.com/r/fatFIRE/ - some great like minded resources for how to manage that much net worth.

EDIT: Regarding first point. Good guide here: https://old.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/wiki/windfall

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