You’re the cto. Lean on your senior engineers and ask sanity questions. That’s your job as cto, not to come with all the answers.
Save your design and coding for your home projects for fun.
Ask HN: I've lost faith in myself as a developer, how do I get it back?
71–80 of 243 posts
Re: Ask HN: I've lost faith in myself as a developer, how do I get it back?
#72You're a CTO.
By definition, if what you're doing is working, it's the right way. There's nobody higher up the chain to tell you otherwise.
If it's not hitting the goals you're setting for yourself, you'll need to determine if the goals are unrealistic or if the approach you're taking to reach them is unrealistic (as CTO, that's often more of the job than writing the actual code).
It's hard to be at the top; it often feels like "working without a net." I changed companies to avoid that feeling when I was younger, and it's possible that's the right move. But if you stick it out, I just want to share that "working without a net" feeling only diminishes if you build a net for yourself (in the form of process you can use to determine if anything is working).
Re: Ask HN: I've lost faith in myself as a developer, how do I get it back?
#73You need to slow down and enjoy life. I too had a burnt out, now partially recovered but still it’s difficult times.
Re: Ask HN: I've lost faith in myself as a developer, how do I get it back?
#74Do you discuss your technical decisions with your peers? That might give you some validation. I chat all the time with people about what techs to use.
Yea we definitely discuss tech decisions as a group. We didn't in the past though and so some of them are poor decisions that have deep implications in the codebase. We're trying to unwind them now. Maybe that is leading to the feelings I have been having.
Re: Ask HN: I've lost faith in myself as a developer, how do I get it back?
#75CTO and developer separate into distinct roles as a company grows. How big is this company? Is it a small company with few developers where you hold the CTO title because you're a founding developer or the most senior developer? If so, you might be missing the reassurance that came from your previous life where you had a manager to check your work, peers to review it, and feedback from people who didn't report to you…
The company is growing in all facets. We added 17 engineers this year when we previously had a total team of like 10. You hit the nail on the head though, I got the role because I was the first engineer and employee at the company. In no way am I a great CTO, just lucky timing. I'm actually stepping down as CTO and becoming a developer again because I am not a good manager, that I know for sure. I think I need to be…
When I first saw your post, my reaction was: CTO after only 4 years of work experience? I've been coding for 30 years now, working for 20, and only in the last 5-6 years have I felt capable of playing that role.
Kudos that you've taken that decision - it's a good one. You can take the time to really broaden your horizons. At which point I very much expect that you'll go back, but as someone who earned the respect, not someone who needs to demand it.
Re: Ask HN: I've lost faith in myself as a developer, how do I get it back?
#76I saw two videos related to this that gave me pause to think.
First was that when you are higher up the chain, you should not be making decisions on small stuff. You should be delegating to the smartest people that report to you.
Second, in the executive level, you should be focused on strategy and identifying industry trends, not on doing day to day grunt work.
Re: Ask HN: I've lost faith in myself as a developer, how do I get it back?
#77Do you discuss your technical decisions with your peers? That might give you some validation. I chat all the time with people about what techs to use.
Yea we definitely discuss tech decisions as a group. We didn't in the past though and so some of them are poor decisions that have deep implications in the codebase. We're trying to unwind them now. Maybe that is leading to the feelings I have been having.
I don't just mean with your current org, I mean with your wider network of people who understand the issues. With outsiders you get people who aren't invested in the same way, yet have done similar work.
Re: Ask HN: I've lost faith in myself as a developer, how do I get it back?
#78Athletes who have a long career will sometimes take time out to reinvent their game. So do some software developers. Your best bet is to do a project entirely different from anything you've done in a while. You can vary: (1) the domain of the project (what it's about) and (2) the technology behind the project. When I was really sick and tired of programming I enjoyed playing with Scratch with kids. Many coders, inclu…
Sometimes coding just sounds like the worst thing I could possibly do. I do enjoy thinking about writing some code but when I sit down all enthusiasm goes out the door. Maybe I need to tinker with something in the real world tangentially related to code and that will help.
Out of curiosity, why are you still coding as the Chief Technology Officer?
I knew some CTO's that wrote the initial code (ergo, code quality totally sucked), or would write a 1-off extension (where the code quality didn't matter much). Once the company achieved some size (>5 developers) they just didn't do it anymore / it wasn't a quality use of their time.
As they matured, they tended to focus on the data schema and the soa architecture, and less on the bits and bytes of functions and frameworks.
What drives you to keep being the primary coder?
Re: Ask HN: I've lost faith in myself as a developer, how do I get it back?
#79I'm in the same position. 12 years software dev. 5 years CTO. Company grew double each year. I had teams under me.
I found that I had lost my developer experience over the years and I didn't feel like a good CTO. I figured I was burnt out and started to not care about the work but couldn't bring myself to give myself a rest or sort it out. I quit last week.
Re: Ask HN: I've lost faith in myself as a developer, how do I get it back?
#80Being a CTO and doing dev creates a ton of cognitive dissonance that takes a lot of mental energy to process. I would look for mentors who can talk you down off the ledge when needed, and help you establish habbits and rituals to better separate the areas of concern in your day to day life.
Also appreciate that most thoughtful engineers are their own worst enemy. Its a sign that you're good that you even care. Find a way to taper back your own self-criticisms because after a certain point they are inaccurate and not helpful.