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The Best Way to Hug Someone, According to Science

theswaddle.com

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Re: The Best Way to Hug Someone, According to Science

#91
post #67

I've been to over 100 cuddle parties. One thing that wasn't mentioned in these studies is the context for these hugs matter a lot. Most people avoid cuddle parties because they wouldn't want to cuddle a stranger and their ideas of what the "party" looks like is usually really wrong. The cuddle parties I have been to were organized in such a way to allow people to refuse more easily any request that comes their way. T…

thanks for mentioning this, I've never heard of such a thing

I'm both terrfied and eager at the thought of going to one

interesting idea in this day and age - espically with covid

I accidently touched a finger of bar worker at a pub (in the UK) whilst paying and I instantly got massive shivers all over

and also last week my male colleague from India (living in the UK) linked my arm - I do know this happens a lot in Denmark, it did feel very strange walking around the pubs at night linked arms with another male - not unpleasent though

Re: The Best Way to Hug Someone, According to Science

#92

Five to ten seconds! From a game theoretic perspective, hugging too briefly could be optimal. Even if the majority of people prefer a hug longer than 5 seconds, you might view the slight gain from having hugged them perfectly as not worth the risk that you creep them out. On the other hand, one might consciously want to weed out people uncomfortable with a hug of that duration.

Not sure what game theory has to do with this?

Re: The Best Way to Hug Someone, According to Science

#94

I was concerned hugging, shaking hands and kissing would be going away due to the pandemic but it seems to have survived... so far: even if for one year or more it was gone. People were all fist bumping or elbow bumping instead of the traditional hand shake or kiss but now it seems to be going back to kisses (at least between french / belgians / russians for those that I know). Hand shakes are back too. Or, well, the…

> (half the people in ER due to Covid are fully vaccinated) I'm sorry to derail, but [citation needed]

Even if poster was correct, absolute numbers mean nothing. You have to look at rate of hospitalizations between the vaccinated and unvaccinated. Every measure I've seen has shown a much higher rate of hospitalization in the unvaccinated.

Re: The Best Way to Hug Someone, According to Science

#95
post #82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> abrazo I've always found the use of loan-words with mundane meanings amusing and baffling. 'Abrazo' translates directly to 'hug', just like 'langsam' in music translates directly to 'slow(ly)'.

Parent is referring to tango, which originated in a spaniel-speaking area. "Abrazo" has meaning within the dialect, and that can be lost in translation.

What is the meaning in the dialect?

Re: The Best Way to Hug Someone, According to Science

#96
post #14

Slightly off-topic: I’m a professional dancer, we specifically train hugging. For contemporary dance, because it’s an important skill for a lot of partnering moves, like jumps involving two persons (an example of partnering: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1BbxTWsoO4&t=13s ). One important detail I found interesting is that for contemporary dancers, it’s not only about the arms, but how to use the whole body for the…

Your response is the most important reason for why I love HN, so many interesting "slight" off-topics. Thank you. So my slight off-topic to your slight off-topic: I want to learn dance myself but after using "barefoot" shoes for last few years when I see dance (men) shoes they scream to me moving in them will be painful, because of narrow toe box. There are no dance shoes with wide toe box, like anywhere. So I ordere…

Hmm, at least when I was swing dancing .... most dancers just had shoes they like resoled. I never did it myself, as I had found some that worked, and I wasn't doing it often enough to wear them out.

Re: The Best Way to Hug Someone, According to Science

#97
post #72

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That doesn't sound quite like the Balboa I was taught, where the contact is at the top of the chest (and along the arms and hands of course) and the partners are slightly offset to the side to avoid shin kicking and toe trampling. As you say, the footwork is very rapid and the hold is close - perfect for fast tunes and crowded dancefloors - but no hip mashing that I recall.

We were slightly offset, yes; her foot fell between mine, and vice versa.

Agreed, I had learned it as basically a continuous hug, still really close chest to chest and not something that everyone was comfortable with.

Re: The Best Way to Hug Someone, According to Science

#98
post #67

I've been to over 100 cuddle parties. One thing that wasn't mentioned in these studies is the context for these hugs matter a lot. Most people avoid cuddle parties because they wouldn't want to cuddle a stranger and their ideas of what the "party" looks like is usually really wrong. The cuddle parties I have been to were organized in such a way to allow people to refuse more easily any request that comes their way. T…

thanks for mentioning this, I've never heard of such a thing I'm both terrfied and eager at the thought of going to one interesting idea in this day and age - espically with covid I accidently touched a finger of bar worker at a pub (in the UK) whilst paying and I instantly got massive shivers all over and also last week my male colleague from India (living in the UK) linked my arm - I do know this happens a lot in D…

> I accidently touched a finger of bar worker at a pub (in the UK) whilst paying and I instantly got massive shivers all over

Sheesh. Sorry to hear this. AIDS all over again.

"That's not how it works!"

Re: The Best Way to Hug Someone, According to Science

#99

Five to ten seconds! From a game theoretic perspective, hugging too briefly could be optimal. Even if the majority of people prefer a hug longer than 5 seconds, you might view the slight gain from having hugged them perfectly as not worth the risk that you creep them out. On the other hand, one might consciously want to weed out people uncomfortable with a hug of that duration.

Not sure what game theory has to do with this?

In the most abstract, game theory is the theory of how to interact when you don't know how who you're interacting with will respond. It doesn't imply competition or conflict, even if most common examples have that.

Re: The Best Way to Hug Someone, According to Science

#100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In my swing club in grad school we once had a Balboa lesson. The instructor used me to demonstrate, and the way she taught it, the dancers basically mash their hips together and bounce rapidly -- like 3 times a second. It felt designed by rabbits. I was embarrassed but everyone seemed to think we looked cool.

Was the instructor a working professional or another undergraduate or graduate student? How comfortable were you in general when it came to Swing?

>How comfortable were you in general when it came to Swing?

Somewhat unrelated experience, but Kizomba also involves a close embrace with a contact at chest/belly and it feels somewhat uncomfortable/risque at first. But as you learn the dance, you have to really concentrate on maintaining the frame so as to be able to lead and follow correctly, and the whole thing feels in fact quite meditative and not sexual at all.

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