61–70 of 114 posts
From a game theoretic perspective, hugging too briefly could be optimal. Even if the majority of people prefer a hug longer than 5 seconds, you might view the slight gain from having hugged them perfectly as not worth the risk that you creep them out.
On the other hand, one might consciously want to weed out people uncomfortable with a hug of that duration.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Your response is the most important reason for why I love HN, so many interesting "slight" off-topics. Thank you. So my slight off-topic to your slight off-topic: I want to learn dance myself but after using "barefoot" shoes for last few years when I see dance (men) shoes they scream to me moving in them will be painful, because of narrow toe box. There are no dance shoes with wide toe box, like anywhere. So I ordere…
Where did you order your custom shoes from?
He is artistic shoemaker and you can see some more of his creations on fb: https://www.facebook.com/szewstwoartystyczne/
He, unfortunately, like to have narrow toe box... That's why I was pushing him hard to make one with wider toe box and even left one of my Joe nimble pair as a example.
Some scientist went to the boss to express interest in studding hugs. And it passed! :)
Achievement completed I guess :)
Best hug for me is no hug, thanks. I would bet 95% of the human beings never hugs except between lovers or parents and their kids. I would bet hug is very much a North American thing. I'm French and hate hugs (we kiss on the cheeks, which feels less intrusive to me, but is crasy intrusive in most non-Latin countries). I live in China and, in normal settings, people here won't hug, won't kiss and won't even shake hand…
You must be having congenitally low levels of “cuddle hormone” :)
Earlier quoted context omitted.
It is part of the process of learning the dance form itself. Even in something like sensual bachata, you learn which parts of the body are "safe" and which are not. For example, upper back okay lower back not. In Kizomba, the partners are pretty much always in a pretty close embrace. Kizomba is impossible to lead without a contact at lower ribcage/upper belly with the partner. In any other setting, this would be a pr…
In my swing club in grad school we once had a Balboa lesson. The instructor used me to demonstrate, and the way she taught it, the dancers basically mash their hips together and bounce rapidly -- like 3 times a second. It felt designed by rabbits. I was embarrassed but everyone seemed to think we looked cool.
How comfortable were you in general when it came to Swing?
Best hug for me is no hug, thanks. I would bet 95% of the human beings never hugs except between lovers or parents and their kids. I would bet hug is very much a North American thing. I'm French and hate hugs (we kiss on the cheeks, which feels less intrusive to me, but is crasy intrusive in most non-Latin countries). I live in China and, in normal settings, people here won't hug, won't kiss and won't even shake hand…
While it goes without saying that wishes not to be hugged should be respected, and cultural norms differ, and the Western way of doing things is not the "correct" way that should be forced unto others in the case of hugging I can't help but think that the absence of hugging (romantic or casual friendly etc) and handshaking (formal or casual high fives etc) really is sad and really DOES rob people in China, Korea, Jap…
At least you should hang out a day or two...
The cuddle parties I have been to were organized in such a way to allow people to refuse more easily any request that comes their way.
This optimization allows for only truly desired touch to occur. People are asked to channel any sexual desire into affection and in a setting where everyone agrees on this hugs take a whole different form than what I've seen in these studies.
If the release of oxytocin is an indication of how effective and healthy touch is I can assure you that lots of people leave a cuddle party feeling like they're on MDMA without having ingested any drugs.
The title here states what people prefer but after you've experience hugs like I have the over/under, criss cross is the least of your worries... what about a hug where you are cheek against cheek? What about a hug where you synchronize your breath with the other other individual and both stomachs touch throughout? These are the hugs that I have found most effective in terms of positive feelings and they are possible and desired in a non-sexual setting that optimizes for consent.
Best hug for me is no hug, thanks. I would bet 95% of the human beings never hugs except between lovers or parents and their kids. I would bet hug is very much a North American thing. I'm French and hate hugs (we kiss on the cheeks, which feels less intrusive to me, but is crasy intrusive in most non-Latin countries). I live in China and, in normal settings, people here won't hug, won't kiss and won't even shake hand…
It's definitely cultural, I'm in the UK and I hug my friends when I'm saying hello or goodbye, but kissing on the cheek feels like something that old women do
Sometimes man kiss man on the cheek but its mostly considered a joke.
There is also religious 3 times to the cheek, I am gonna ignore that since everybody do it. That kiss is almost non existent tho, its more of a gesture.
I've been to over 100 cuddle parties. One thing that wasn't mentioned in these studies is the context for these hugs matter a lot. Most people avoid cuddle parties because they wouldn't want to cuddle a stranger and their ideas of what the "party" looks like is usually really wrong. The cuddle parties I have been to were organized in such a way to allow people to refuse more easily any request that comes their way. T…
The article says >However, if two people were of nearly the same height, the “neck-waist approach” was found to be slightly more common than when their heights differed drastically. and it links to a different article[1] that says >they guess that neck-waist might be more common when heights differ more drastically. One article says neck-waist is most common when heights are the same, the other says neck-waist is mos…
> Height difference did not influence hugging style significantly in study 2. This is surprising in that a criss-cross hug between two people with height differences is rather cumbersome. However, only six dyads had a height difference larger than 20 cm in the current study sample. Thus, the study might not have had sufficient variability to detect the effect of height on hugging style.
I'm taller than most and yeah, neck-waist is more common for me. For the right relationships I make an effort to get the waist side. But that has a closeness to it that means I can't use it for everyone