Constant judgement I experience in a social interaction is a big drain but I learning to overcome by ignoring this fact and focus on interesting aspects of theirs. You can’t build on weakness you see.
An introverts guide to increasing energy
81–90 of 149 posts
Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy
#82>> "Listen to your body and learn your limits"
This was the most important lesson one for me, while it was applicable. The 'Listen to your body' part, anyway. I used to get drained around others, especially big crowds. I was always watching others, and 'becoming' them by putting all my attention outside myself.
I heard of the technique of maintaining attention/focus inside the body. So I picked the belly, which turns out to work very well because there is so much sensation in that area for me. I began to focus on my belly as much as possible when I was out in public. Eventually you can begin to rapidly focus attention between yourself and others, say if you need to converse or pay attention to whatever external thing. This enabled me to become 'bored' when out in public, instead of the formerly usual mild state of panic/anxiety. It was completely life changing. Doing this made the other bullet points entirely secondary for me.
Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy
#83Hey! Author here. I was pleasantly surprised to see this posted! I registered an account to say thanks for sharing. If anyone has any questions or wants to chat further, feel free to hit me up. :)
Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy
#84For over 25 years I wondered why social events drained me and what neurological phenomenon the metaphor "energy" stood for (which this article and many others like it don't seem to bother investigating). I've recently come to realize that it's the extent to which you see other human beings as a threat, which causes your brain to keep its "shields up", which can feel exhausting. After a observing myself a lot during s…
> I've recently come to realize that it's the extent to which you see other human beings as a threat, which causes your brain to keep its "shields up"
Thanks for this insight. It says clearly something I've been feeling, but haven't articulated.
I've thought about taking some martial arts classes, perhaps jiu-jitsu because I know they "roll" from the first class onwards. I think it would help me get over part of my anxiety. However, I'm 40 and in mediocre shape, and I'm worried that the risk of getting injured outweighs the benefits.
Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy
#85For over 25 years I wondered why social events drained me and what neurological phenomenon the metaphor "energy" stood for (which this article and many others like it don't seem to bother investigating). I've recently come to realize that it's the extent to which you see other human beings as a threat, which causes your brain to keep its "shields up", which can feel exhausting. After a observing myself a lot during s…
Public speaking seemed impossible to me until I actually had something I wanted to say to a given group of people. Then it felt natural. The same applies to parties or events. I enjoy them if I have something I want to discuss with the people present Of course either case is fairly rare for me
Yes, a realization I came to awfully belatedly. As a kid, all those speeches and essays where I struggled anxiously with topics I didn’t know much about or care much about, and bullshitting is not one my strengths or preferences. Decades later, I’m rather more aware and more opinionated, but my days of addressing groups of people seem to be long over.
Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy
#86For over 25 years I wondered why social events drained me and what neurological phenomenon the metaphor "energy" stood for (which this article and many others like it don't seem to bother investigating). I've recently come to realize that it's the extent to which you see other human beings as a threat, which causes your brain to keep its "shields up", which can feel exhausting. After a observing myself a lot during s…
I must add that this feeling "people judging you" is mostly YOU. That is we THINK what other people are thinking, as we don't have direct link to their brains. The intensity of this feeling is related to your personal feeling of your self worth, which again doesn't have much to do with any realistic criteria. From my personal experience people love you, find you interesting, miss you when you are not there, etc. much…
I had an upbringing where I was very much judged. And even in adulthood, my experience is that I like myself fairly well, but I am well aware that other people do not normally take to me, are not capable of grasping what I’m about or seeing any value in it, etc.
Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy
#87I love these types of articles. I have joined many FB introvert groups. Seeing that there are others like me gives me a lot of comfort. I’m learning to adjust my expectations of myself more than trying to radically adjust myself.
You also may have joined yet another victim class echo chamber.
Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy
#88For over 25 years I wondered why social events drained me and what neurological phenomenon the metaphor "energy" stood for (which this article and many others like it don't seem to bother investigating). I've recently come to realize that it's the extent to which you see other human beings as a threat, which causes your brain to keep its "shields up", which can feel exhausting. After a observing myself a lot during s…
Energy probably = dopamine levels in this context. Also, what you describe exactly mirrors my experience.
Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy
#89For over 25 years I wondered why social events drained me and what neurological phenomenon the metaphor "energy" stood for (which this article and many others like it don't seem to bother investigating). I've recently come to realize that it's the extent to which you see other human beings as a threat, which causes your brain to keep its "shields up", which can feel exhausting. After a observing myself a lot during s…
> I've recently come to realize that it's the extent to which you see other human beings as a threat, which causes your brain to keep its "shields up" Thanks for this insight. It says clearly something I've been feeling, but haven't articulated. I've thought about taking some martial arts classes, perhaps jiu-jitsu because I know they "roll" from the first class onwards. I think it would help me get over part of my a…
I am just a random somebody around your age in previously mediocre but now significantly improved shape since starting kickboxing. One of the most important things I learned is that all that most age related “injuries” and “soreness” etc is counterintuitively almost always caused by _lack_ of exercise rather than being too active. In fact it’s probably impossible to be so active as to outweigh the benefits you’d get, it’s basically entirely a positive feedback loop once you get started. (Note I am not talking about people who have suffered serious physical trauma and need to recover, that is something else entirely—-just more like an average couch potato).
Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy
#90It bothers me when people just say "you are introverted" or "you are extroverted". Labelling people like this (i.e. a binary one or the other choice) is not helpful. Don't 100% match the definition for X? Then you are Y! I think in reality it is better to acknowledge that - like many things - introversion/extroversion is a broad scale with many shades of grey, and your personal position on the scale can and does chan…
You are obviously an NF temperament, most probably the ENFP personality type. Extraversion/Introversion is the first distinction of the Myers Briggs Type Indicator. I find it remarkable that exactly the people who get incensed at the MBTI "because everything is shades of gray and you can't sort people into neat 16 bins", are those who are at the very very end of at least two of the four scales. > don't let over peopl…
INTJ last time I did it.
But then it varies depending on what mood I am in the day I do it.
That is my point - don't label people with "oh typical ENFP response!"/"You are ENFP - this is why you think what you think" It is unhelpful at best, and at worst a slippery-slope way of dismissing people's views and opinions - without extreme care and self-monitoring you risk (consciously or not) making the same snap judgements based on other aspects of people "Oh typical gender/race/religion/age response! This person is X so they alway do/think Y". Dangerous.