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An introverts guide to increasing energy

ashleyjanssen.com

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Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#51

Post by hliyan »

psyc wrote: post #49
hliyan wrote: post #44

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Would you say introversion and social anxiety are two distinct phenomena? I always viewed these as existing on the same spectrum.

I thought the consensus was that they're distinct. In my case, I never experience any social anxiety (aside from public speaking) but I consider myself extremely introverted. I strongly prefer to be by myself doing solo activities, and never feel the need to see other people. But when I do encounter others, it's a perfectly comfortable experience and I can be as friendly and charming as anybody.

In my case, funnily enough, I find public speaking much more enjoyable than attending, say, a wedding. I guess this is very multi-dimensional thing...

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#52

Post by paulsutter »

hliyan wrote: post #31

For over 25 years I wondered why social events drained me and what neurological phenomenon the metaphor "energy" stood for (which this article and many others like it don't seem to bother investigating). I've recently come to realize that it's the extent to which you see other human beings as a threat, which causes your brain to keep its "shields up", which can feel exhausting. After a observing myself a lot during s…

Public speaking seemed impossible to me until I actually had something I wanted to say to a given group of people. Then it felt natural. The same applies to parties or events. I enjoy them if I have something I want to discuss with the people present

Of course either case is fairly rare for me

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#53

Post by lawwantsin17 »

psyc wrote: post #49
hliyan wrote: post #44

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Would you say introversion and social anxiety are two distinct phenomena? I always viewed these as existing on the same spectrum.

I thought the consensus was that they're distinct. In my case, I never experience any social anxiety (aside from public speaking) but I consider myself extremely introverted. I strongly prefer to be by myself doing solo activities, and never feel the need to see other people. But when I do encounter others, it's a perfectly comfortable experience and I can be as friendly and charming as anybody.

The consensus is confused.

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#54

Post by astrophysics »

amelius wrote: post #47
tartoran wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I actually find large groups distracting and disorienting to the point that I have a hard time decoding conversations and that extra churn is what exhausts me in the first place. Also, trying to keep the mask on is also a bit exhausting so the moment I tell everyone that Im introverted and no longer have to pretend Im not things start to improve a bit. Having said that, I think you have a point with the threat percep…

> I have a hard time decoding conversations and that extra churn is what exhausts me in the first place Yes. The more you shy away from big gatherings, the harder it becomes to decode audio signals in noisy environments. It also doesn't help if you're much smaller or taller than other people.

Wow, maybe this explains why I can't hear anything in large groups of people.

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#55

Post by anthomtb »

dartharva wrote: post #4

This article feels like something straight from Buzzfeed

If you just skim the words and look at the cartoons then yeah, feels pretty Buzzfeed-ish.

But if you give it a deep read there’s a lot of good advice in there. Maybe not so relevant to someone like myself, who’s 35 and well comfortable with his introverted habits. But if I’d read this article at 22 it would have been highly beneficial.

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#56

Post by matsemann »

mattlondon wrote: post #8

It bothers me when people just say "you are introverted" or "you are extroverted". Labelling people like this (i.e. a binary one or the other choice) is not helpful. Don't 100% match the definition for X? Then you are Y! I think in reality it is better to acknowledge that - like many things - introversion/extroversion is a broad scale with many shades of grey, and your personal position on the scale can and does chan…

It was however very useful for me when I learned the labels ~10 years ago. Before that, one was either outgoing or shy. I felt like neither.

Suddenly there was a new axis as well, explaining what I felt. And news articles started popping up, people talking about the concept etc. Made it much easier being an introvert.

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#57

Post by 08-15 »

mattlondon wrote: post #8

It bothers me when people just say "you are introverted" or "you are extroverted". Labelling people like this (i.e. a binary one or the other choice) is not helpful. Don't 100% match the definition for X? Then you are Y! I think in reality it is better to acknowledge that - like many things - introversion/extroversion is a broad scale with many shades of grey, and your personal position on the scale can and does chan…

You are obviously an NF temperament, most probably the ENFP personality type.

Extraversion/Introversion is the first distinction of the Myers Briggs Type Indicator. I find it remarkable that exactly the people who get incensed at the MBTI "because everything is shades of gray and you can't sort people into neat 16 bins", are those who are at the very very end of at least two of the four scales.

> don't let over people tell you how to think and behave!

Ironic, isn't it?

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#58

Post by redisman »

mrsmee89 wrote: post #12

As someone who typically gets their energy depleted around people, there are certain people that increase my energy. There are also times where I almost need to interact with people on a biological level. Listening to my body is the thing that weirdly, used to take up a lot of energy because I wasn’t used to/ allowed to as a child. So I was constantly making difficult real-time decisions. As an adult, I’ve learned ho…

I’ve noticed that there are some people who for me are a neutral. Mostly close family like my kids and wife. It’s not draining or regenerating. No person regenerates my introvert energy. I don’t really get any alone time anymore but I manage. I always thought I would die without big chunks of daily alone time but you get used to anything I guess

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#59

Post by jplr8922 »

I've read 'Personality Types' (the book where Jung define introversion and extraversion) many times by now. It is hard to understand at first, by now I am amazed about how his concepts are interpreted differently than what he intended. Introversion is a kind of filtering mechanism where your self concept (ego) overweight the importance of internal stimulis over external one (and vice versa for an extrovert).

If a subject feels 'obligated' to respond to an external stimulus (such as a party) and to expend energy in that direction, that is extraversion. If you need to learn how to monitor internal stimulus such as fatigue levels or who makes you feel good, that sound like an extravert learning how to do introversion in order to manage himself. This process of learning how to get out of your usual favored way is part of what Jung called 'individuation', psychological development which starts in adulthood.

When trying to understand the intro-extra spectrum, its not the behavior that matters the most, it is the cognition of the subject. Why did you stay alone last friday night? Is it because you had a hard week and you are tired (internal stimulus)? Do you avoid parties because you do not care that much about the feeling of the music (internal stimulus), and would rather to clearly hear others people stories and opinions (external stimulus)? How does the subject narrates his story?

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#60

Post by wpietri »

hliyan wrote: post #44
mikevm wrote: post #40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's also possible that you might have social anxiety, btw. Regarding introversion and "energy" - https://www.quietrev.com/why-introverts-and-extroverts-are-d...

Would you say introversion and social anxiety are two distinct phenomena? I always viewed these as existing on the same spectrum.

Personally, I say they are related. For some years I thought I had social anxiety, meaning irrational feelings of anxiety triggered by social situations.

In retrospect, I think of myself as a gregarious introvert. I love people but they wear me the fuck out. For many years I just pushed past those feelings, specifically not listening to my body as the author recommends in step 4. So I was in effect gradually training my nervous system that "social situation = pain". An important function of animal nervous systems is learned aversion to painful situations. So my feelings of anxiety about social situations were not irrational, but correct and proportionate.

Once I started taking my own health and feelings seriously, what I saw as social anxiety gradually dissipated.

For those interested in the mechanisms here, I highly recommend "The Body Keeps the Score". It finally gave me an intellectual framework for a lot of my experiences around this.

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