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Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

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Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

#281

Post by dustymcp »

thevagrant wrote: post #169
DyslexicAtheist wrote: post #145

Earlier quoted context omitted.

it seems to me that the biggest problem OP faces is the relationship to themselves. Before you can effectively love others you need to be able to be good company to yourself. Because who will put up with you if you don't even think you're worthy of love. I stopped counting the number of times they mentioned that they considered themselves stupid. There is so much negative and toxic self critic in this post that my fe…

Your points are also true. In my life, kids helped me relearn what it was like to be young. It took me a number of years to realise I had bad depression / anhedonia. My kids helped my focus on what was important. I accepted myself for who I am and was able to feel happy again. My kids think I'm the great wizard with technology, even if I'm considered average. Message to OP We can't all be famous or the best at someth…

Ive had the same feeling now i make video games for my kids instead, who needs the toxic masses accept when you are the world to these 2 miracles..

Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

#282

Post by fho »

foobarian wrote: post #33

I have these kinds of feelings a lot. It is hard to feel useful in this day and age of a ubiquitous globally connected society because for anything you attempt to do you have instant access to the top 0.0001% of the Bell curve who you have no hope of ever beating. I find comfort in that I am not alone, thinking of all the peasants and regular workers across history who didn't amount to much either, but still mostly f…

Regarding kids and at the risk of sounding overly negative:

Given that 100% - `0.0001%` of people are basically average and judging by my Internet most of the people have a very pessimistic outlook on life and the future, is it really fair to have children?

If they don't, by slim chance, become that one in a million that just breezes through life ... they will become as pessimistic as we are ... and at some point they will find that their only contribution is having kids on their own.

(Disclaimer: I am not anti-kids, I/we always planned on having some, but as we are barely making ends meet it has never really been a good time and now we are in our mid-30s and time is running out)

Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

#283

Post by burntoutfire »

pedrosorio wrote: post #218
JohnBooty wrote: post #143

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why are we forsaking that in favor of a "you don't have to try so hard, it's ok to be mediocre" mindset? One reason many feel is the fact that being "the best" often just means making some crappy corporation richer; when you start to feel that the whole system kind of sucks it gets harder to care about accomplishing things within it. I grew up wanting to be a game developer, but what would that mean in a practical se…

> Working 80 hours a week and at the end of the day I'm just making Microsoft or Activision or somebody richer? Even John Freaking Carmack eventually wound up working for Facebook. It appears you forgot the original motivation. You wanted to make games. That’s what you’d be doing besides “making a corporation richer”. Similarly, Carmack is helping to shape the future of VR on the daily. I’m sure that’s why he does it…

People who want to make games usually want to be (co-)authors of the game and not just cogs in an organization with little to no to say about what the game should be like.

Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

#284

Post by AareyBaba »

codegeek wrote: post #6

I know the feeling but I will leave you with this: "There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self. ― Ernest Hemingway"

“Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today.” ― Jordan B. Peterson

Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

#285

Post by alexdowad »

One of the really fabulous things about working in tech (or doing it as a hobby) is that you can participate in creating new things, bringing something useful into existence. Another is the joy of figuring out how intricate things work/solving fun brain puzzles. A third is that the end results of this process (the things made using tech) are often fun and interesting in their own right (apart from how they work or the techniques we used to make them).

These three joys are probably what attracted you to get involved with tech in the first place. You can rediscover them if you don't devalue your work by comparing it unfavorably with that of others.

Imagine you are eating your favorite food; let's say it might be pizza. Do you enjoy a good pizza less because there is a better pizza somewhere on the planet? Does a flower in your garden look less pretty because there is a better one somewhere else? Of course not. If you have $20 in your pocket, is your $20 worth less if the guy next to you has $50? Of course not. $20 is still worth $20.

The moral is, if you have created things which were useful or interesting, take pride in your work, even if it's less impressive than the work of others. Did you put effort into your work? Did you learn something in the process? If so, that's great.

And if you choose to spend time improving your skills, don't waste time worrying about whether you are progressing faster or slower than others. Are you learning things which are interesting to you? Can you create things now which you wouldn't have been able to create earlier? If so, that's great. It doesn't matter if someone else could have done it faster.

Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

#287

Post by fxtentacle »

In short, your brain chemistry is currently in an unusual situation and that also affects how you feel about your life.

My advice would be to work on feeling better.

There's plenty of things that I'm bad at, not only compared to the top 0.1% of the internet, but also compared to my real life friends. But I can enjoy doing them just the same, despite my obvious lack of skill. You can be both useless and a good person at the same time. Plus chances are, others will actually value your contribution, even if it seems like nothing to you. So the first step should be to find something you enjoy doing, or to relearn to enjoy something you did in the past.

Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

#288

Post by catoc »

JKCalhoun wrote: post #116
foobarian wrote: post #33

I have these kinds of feelings a lot. It is hard to feel useful in this day and age of a ubiquitous globally connected society because for anything you attempt to do you have instant access to the top 0.0001% of the Bell curve who you have no hope of ever beating. I find comfort in that I am not alone, thinking of all the peasants and regular workers across history who didn't amount to much either, but still mostly f…

Family, kids — I agree. I stopped giving a shit about "changing the world" when my kids came into my life. They became my world. And you will change their world. I suspect they'll remember me forever.

"I suspect they'll remember me forever"

Laughed out loud at that. Funny because it's so true.

For me personally it didn't stop me from wanting to achieve something in my life. Which I realize only partly overlaps with wanting to change the world. It was impactful nevertheless and I'm sure my kids will remember me :-)

Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

#289

Post by wiether »

foobarian wrote: post #33

I have these kinds of feelings a lot. It is hard to feel useful in this day and age of a ubiquitous globally connected society because for anything you attempt to do you have instant access to the top 0.0001% of the Bell curve who you have no hope of ever beating. I find comfort in that I am not alone, thinking of all the peasants and regular workers across history who didn't amount to much either, but still mostly f…

> And lastly, I found that there is one thing that one can do that is absolutely unique that nobody can match anywhere in the world, and that is - as corny as this sounds - kids.

Eat, shit, sleep, reproduce, die. Living being 101.

But the main thing about having kids is that you will not have time to think about how your life sucks anymore. Probably better than taking drugs to achieve the same result.

Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

#290

Post by machiaweliczny »

I once tried joining elite group at uni but when they started solving N-dimensionals puzzles I just got depressed and left.

My advice is enjoy what you have and enjoy yourself and be kind. You have to be born ultra talented or compromise a lot. Some of these people in elite group cried openly that they didin't have childhood due to study (and some still went on easy mode and now aren't even in field as got bored. Such is life)

I for example started coding when I was 12 on extracircular stuff and guy from these classes he studied a lot and now is doing well at Google Zurich. You could think he's smart (and indeed he is). Still I myself wouldn't trade my time exploring more - hacking, playing MMOs with friends, trying to create games, balroom dancing etc. This is stuff that I still remember fondly.

Anyway if you are fine with trading some comfort then probably there's some cool startup that would hire you

All that blocks most people is comfort and fear of death. We already live in world full of opportity. Elon said he had epithany after trying to live only on noodles for month. Steve Jobs also had interesting talk.

My bro-in-law traveled half of world fot free (Couchserfing). My other nighbour got killed in Africa. Such in life. I still think risking more to pursue dreams is worth it.

smart != wise so don't beat yourself

Also "shallow" skills combined often are more practical and valuable, just hard to market

To sum up my advice and life experience: be kind and squarely to yourself. Jesus was onto something

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