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Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

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171–180 of 344 posts

Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

#171
Understand. We all find ourselves unfocused at some point, even if we don't have significant mental conditions, but try to avoid blaming it on a medical condition if possible.

Instead, spend less time on Hacker News, and actually everything else, too -- news, social networking, etc.

Actually unplug your Wifi router. Start coding. Disconnect your TV. Buy a book and force yourself to read it.

Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

#173
Try to separate this into two separate questions: why do you want the things you want? And: why can’t you realize them?

We tend to implicitly accept the values of others and desire what they desire, even when it conflicts with our unique interests and abilities, which creates a painful inner conflict that is difficult to identify and articulate.

The second question is easier to answer (set good habits, etc.)

Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

#175
post #6

I know the feeling but I will leave you with this: "There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self. ― Ernest Hemingway"

The first part of the quote reminds me a bit of the ted talk on leadership and starting a movement. More to the point: leaders are over glorified. Follow what you like. That's more important. I hope that the OP can see that. Find something that you like to do and follow it. It could be knitting, could woodworking, could be gardening . . .

It has done its rounds, but still enjoy watching this: https://www.ted.com/talks/derek_sivers_how_to_start_a_moveme...

Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

#176
I don’t have answers, just thoughts. I’m always impressed how some people can take something I thought was either obvious, common knowledge, or nothing interesting and intrigue so many people with it. You might know something that most don’t, and you might be more interesting than you realize to the right people. And hey, you know the internet! That’s where most of the people are!

I believe that everyone has a niche, but they might not realize it, or people might assume it should be bigger than it is. When I started doing web stuff and “making things,” I dreamed of changing the world. That was like 25 years ago. Now I’m making the things that I like, putting it out into the world, and hoping that somehow the right people find it. I don’t want to change the world anymore, I’m just hoping to accidentally change a couple people’s worlds in tiny, beneficial ways.

Small steps. All we hear about and witness are the big leapers. We’re not all big leapers, and that’s so perfectly OK. I’ve come to rather make a single person very happy, even if only for a few minutes, than make 1,000 people kinda happy.

Maybe it feels like staring out at the ocean and feeling completely insignificant. But maybe it’s really that you’re just not meant to do anything with the ocean.

I’d love to hear more about the ins and outs of technical writing. You probably have learned a lot more than you realize about do’s and don’t’s, tips and tricks, etc.

Look small. Don’t expect to make waves. Do things because you enjoy them. If you feel like sharing that with others, do it! Don’t focus on what they want, focus on you enjoying something. Whether that’s learning something in front of people, trying something new, reviewing a YouTube documentary, or whatever.

Or, you know, don’t. :) Just be, and enjoy learning and watching YouTube and know that those things aren’t damaging the world, and that’s a hell of a lot more than many people can say.

Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

#177
post #77

Layperson here in a similar boat. So, on the face of it you have imposter syndrome. Many kind commenters have already offered up a bunch of platitudes to help in that department. It's a surprisingly common thing, actually. What's less common is low self-esteem or self-hatred to a degree that it becomes a major impediment in your life. Your post is littered with language that suggests this. I know, because I've lived…

Clarification with minor corrections, courtesy of HN's 2-hour edit window:

I'd say "don't compare yourself to others", or "love yourself", but platitudes like that are more detrimental than helpful when you're saying it to someone who couldn't do these things if they tried due to overwhelming biochemical forces at play. I don't know if that's true in your case, but it seems like it could be a possibility.

Also, that isn't to say hard emotional work is pointless or that you're somehow helpless. On the contrary, there's a reason therapy with medication often yields the best outcomes. It's just that sometimes, one part of the equation becomes insurmountable without the other falling into place.

Most of the comments here don't have the slightest clue what that's like.

Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

#179
post #120

I have these kinds of feelings a lot. It is hard to feel useful in this day and age of a ubiquitous globally connected society because for anything you attempt to do you have instant access to the top 0.0001% of the Bell curve who you have no hope of ever beating. I find comfort in that I am not alone, thinking of all the peasants and regular workers across history who didn't amount to much either, but still mostly f…

I find kids overwhelming, in fact, if I had kids (I don't yet) I would be constantly worried about making sure they get the best of life. I have a dog and he is already a lot of work, I even feel bad on days when it rains and I can't take him out as long as I would like to. I feel bad when I go out for dinner with friends and have to leave him alone. The feeling of raising a dependent is not fun (for me at least). It…

Just stop feeling bad about these things. You are probably doing 99% right (just by trying) and it’s the completely insignificant, outright noise 1% which brings you down.
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