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Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

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Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

#111

Post by staunch »

It may help to consider that the most impressive human being ever is extremely shallow and dumb compared to what is possible.

Future humans will have genetic engineering and computer augmentation, at the very least. They will (correctly) view all previous generations of human as comparatively primitive. That won't invalidate what they did.

My thinking is that:

1. Some humans make large contributions to humanity's progress.

2. Almost everyone makes some contribution.

3. A few unlucky people contribute nothing at all.

4. We should count ourselves lucky if we can contribute something.

5. There's no reason to spend a lot of comparing contributions, except insofar as it helps people contribute more in a healthy and productive way.

6. We should all contribute as much we can figure out how to, as one part of living a full and happy life.

Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

#112

Post by toto444 »

redleggedfrog wrote: post #24

Jeez, dude, don't be so hard on yourself! Comparing yourself to other people is a losing game - no matter how awesome you are you'll always find people that are "better" than you at whatever, as they would to, unless you're Michael Jordan. Find things you like to do that make you happy and do those things. That works for me. I'm a college drop-out/software developer with skeletons in my closet just like you.

Funny that you use Mickael Jordan as an example because one of his quote is quite popular these days :

> I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.

Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

#113

Post by andkon »

Y'know, bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder both are things that are hard to handle. The latter is usually connected to having had a childhood that was so chaotic and confusing that it was hard to tell good from bad.

That's likely gonna give you all sorts of feelings about the stuff you're interested in for your own reasons. The truth is – knowing that your own dreams do exist is the biggest step anyone can take. And unlearning all the things you learned that insisted that your dreams are superficial and worthless compared to what other people are doing… that's something you owe it to yourself to do, so that you can live your own life.

The neat thing is that when you learn how to allow yourself to live your own life, the things other people are great at aren't such a threat anymore. It's actually really neat that the guy wrote Rollercoaster Tycoon in assembly, by himself. Wild! And that also says nothing about you, or what matters to you, or whether you're deserving of your own wants and interests.

The trick is learning why you came to believe that these things are reflections of your own perceived incapacity and unworthiness. The only way I know to do that is in therapy, and it's tough, but it's worth it. You get to unlock your own self, that way. Good luck!

Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

#114

Post by foxhop »

I love you.

These feeling are not unique to you. These feelings are a product of the times.

There are many doors. The internet let's you see them all. Some are wrong to open. You have free will and creative spirit inside you.

Whatever you do, do it out of love and what feels good.

You know what good feels like. Do more of that. Things that make you feel good. Figure out what makes you feel good and do that when you have spare time. Try to reinterpret something.

Be thankful for what you do have. Be general at first, you have air to breathe.

Now just play and have fun creatinf. Even if it fails. We wouldn't be growing & learning without failure, now would we?

Figure out how to move quickly and interate.

Reduce the time to recovery from mistakes. Make failure cheap.

Share it with the world and try to find collaborators.

Rinse and repeat.

Remember we all have the power of creation in us.

I AM

Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

#115

Post by achenatx »

read up on stoicism. In the grand scheme of the universe all of us are completely insignificant. In the context of our society, only a very few will be remembered 20-30 years after they are dead and even fewer 100years.

I could achieve so much more if I was willing to put forth the effort, take the risks, or make the sacrifices. Im not though, and I have come to grips with that. Ultimately everything is a choice. Every day you choose to do what you do. The key is to be happy with the choices that you make instead of wishing that you would make other choices. Whatever I do, I choose and I accept it. (Im aware of the discussions of lack of true free will)

Does creating a new software language, a new backend, social media site really matter in the grand scheme of things? Does being mayor, governor, or even president? Are you willing to make changes to achieve goals that are out of your reach? If not, why be upset with yourself?

This thought process of the ultimate meaninglessness of life can lead to nihilism or contentment.

I am fortunate that I have always been happy with my choices. But many people have to work a bit to come to acceptance.

Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

#116

Post by JKCalhoun »

foobarian wrote: post #33

I have these kinds of feelings a lot. It is hard to feel useful in this day and age of a ubiquitous globally connected society because for anything you attempt to do you have instant access to the top 0.0001% of the Bell curve who you have no hope of ever beating. I find comfort in that I am not alone, thinking of all the peasants and regular workers across history who didn't amount to much either, but still mostly f…

Family, kids — I agree. I stopped giving a shit about "changing the world" when my kids came into my life. They became my world. And you will change their world.

I suspect they'll remember me forever.

Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

#117

Post by dvh1990 »

emerged wrote: post #102
dvh1990 wrote: post #23

I'll be brutally honest because I used to be in your situation. Each and every person you admire has poured thousands of hours into some project. For some that's a degree. For some it's a game they wrote, for others it's company that they've started... Have you done that? Spent thousands of hours on a single thing? Focused on a project long enough to actually see results? I'm guessing not, because if you would have t…

It would most often be a Show HN post which then went nowhere. Just because you dedicated a massive amount of time on something doesn’t mean it will be a success. OP perspective still holds even if he’s done the thousands of hours thing multiple times without it panning out.

You can't guarantee results, but you can guarantee a good attempt to get results because the latter is under your control.

Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

#118

Post by treebot »

Hey I have bipolar and borderline too! But I just want to say, life isn't about achieving things; it's just about being happy. And a little secret: achieving things doesn't actually make you happy. Maybe temporarily, but anyone who achieves great things is never satisfied. Otherwise, they never would have put in the work to achieve what they did in the first place. It's sort of a prerequisite.

I was really good at a sport through high school and college. And one thing I noticed very early is that how good I was didn't make me happy. Sure, in the instant I won, I was happy. But then I went back to practice the next day, and was just focused on the next opponent. And then when I lost, I was crushed. I didn't become any happier as a person or enjoy my life more or anything as I got better at the sport. I cared a lot about getting better. What actually made me happy was just doing the sport itself, especially in the moments where I let go of the outcome. It's the old, appreciate the journey, not the destination. It's really true!

I also know a lot of people who are really good at things. They are no happier than anyone else. It's not something to be jealous of, or feel bad that you are not like them.

I also will say that I started to focus on achievement a lot less when I had a kid. It became obvious to me that what I did for my kid was infinitely more important than what I achieved for myself, and pursuing success for myself was really just a kind of game.

Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

#119

Post by sitkack »

flatiron wrote: post #104
biggestlou wrote: post #7

There's no such thing as "raw" intelligence. Those people you find so incredibly impressive who have done such worthwhile things? Every single one of them sucks ass at a multitude of things. Every single one of them would see something in your set of capabilities that would astound them. It takes a vast constellation of capabilities, including yours, to create and sustain our world.

What really impress me are people who are great at many varied things. The creator of Stardew valley drew every image. Composed every song. Coded every line. It’s an insane accomplishment.

Also super rare (currently), I am extremely curious what the ratio of nurture to nature is for these folks? Having crossed paths with a couple of folks like this they don't seem much different than other people. Humans are basically wonderful all purpose organisms, with the right interest and enough time on task they can do almost anything.

Maybe a unique perspective or a deeply ingrained and unflappable "lets try this or how does this work?" attitude is all it takes.

Stay curious!

Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

#120

Post by nelblu »

foobarian wrote: post #33

I have these kinds of feelings a lot. It is hard to feel useful in this day and age of a ubiquitous globally connected society because for anything you attempt to do you have instant access to the top 0.0001% of the Bell curve who you have no hope of ever beating. I find comfort in that I am not alone, thinking of all the peasants and regular workers across history who didn't amount to much either, but still mostly f…

I find kids overwhelming, in fact, if I had kids (I don't yet) I would be constantly worried about making sure they get the best of life. I have a dog and he is already a lot of work, I even feel bad on days when it rains and I can't take him out as long as I would like to. I feel bad when I go out for dinner with friends and have to leave him alone. The feeling of raising a dependent is not fun (for me at least). It definitely gives me a sense of purpose every day but the thought of going away from him makes me very anxious.

I almost feel it is a happier life to have lived like a nobody. I can relate to the OP because I feel exactly like him many times. But then I remind myself that we are all stardust and there is inherently no purpose to life. Somehow that makes me feel very calm.

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