Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

Genius is to be found in many shapes and forms.

From the incredible empathy my partner has towards colleagues going through personal situations (when many literally wouldn't care, let alone waste brain juice), to those smart programmers committing to open source whilst struggling to make ends meet when they could easily get a high-paying job, to those mustering the strength to work three jobs to pay bills, and so the list goes.

There's always somebody different doing great. To quote the great J Cole — "love yourz"

You will be surprised how much you know. Comparing with others is almost always a losing game. Trust me because I do this a lot myself. There is always someone whom you want to be like. But remember there are a lot of people who want to be like YOU. So just focus on yourself and keep becoming a better version of you and most importantly, keep an eye on your Goals whatever they may be. Remember that there is a cost to everything. You may look at someone and say "Wow they are so smart or successful or whatever". But do you know what they don't have or what they truly desire ? You will never know. May be what they truly desire, you have it.

I felt the way you did at 20. Now, at 44, I still feel this way. I'm much closer to accepting that it's all OK, though.

Yes there is, with that said it is not what matters in his examples.

I understand these thoughts and feelings 100%. All I can do is leave you with some fighting thoughts (in the sense of fighting for a meaningful life):

* Compare and despair.

* What good do these thoughts and emotions do you? Yes of course perhaps you need these feelings to be driven to achieve what you want. But if you dwell on them for too long then you'll just waste more years not doing the things that you really feel to be meaningful, and then you'll be in an even deeper hole.

* Furthermore I'm skeptical that these "compare and despair" thoughts really will succeed in driving most people to "go out there and make it happen". I personally have found it much more invigorating and inspiring to acknowledge/praise/bless my fellow people. "Wow! They created that. Good for them. What can I learn from them?" Yes I know this reeks of "growth mindset" lingo but it works. At minimum it's a thought/emotion pattern that makes me not miserable day-to-day.

Also it's very interesting that you're a technical writer! I have been one myself for 9 years. At first I had major inferiority complex to engineers. I wonder if it's a common problem that is maybe specific to our field? Happy to chat about our industry 1 on 1 if you think that will help. Find my contact on my website (link in bio).

And last I will say that I know sometimes people just need to vent and need support so I feel a bit rude giving unsolicited advice to strangers. But this is a forum and I only share my thoughts in the spirit of hoping that something clicks for someone and helps them breakthrough.