Ask HN: Tech-savvy parents, what are the gadget rules for your kids? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: Tech-savvy parents, what are the gadget rules for your kids?

#131

Post by aerovistae » Wed, Nov 17, 2021, 9:07 PM UTC

yumraj wrote: post #115

aerovistae wrote: post #85

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This seems like one of the best schemes I've heard here so far. Only part I disagree with is the "no multiplayer online games" - they are addictive, I've lost a lot of time to them in my life, so maybe you're right, but I want to believe moderation is better than abstinence.

no multiplayer online games are for two reason: 1) as you said, they can be addictive since they are designed that way. 2) I have no control over who they are playing with, the sort of language that is/will be used (though I'm a potty mouth so ..) and what it can/may lead to. I feel a lot of people prey on kids via these channels, though I may be wrong. It's just an additional layer, but overall kids haven't complain…

Yeah #1 I can get behind but fwiw I think #2 isn't a real concern. In the past 20 years I've probably spent 8,000ish hours playing multiplayer games online, since I was about 11 or so, and never once in all that time had someone pull anything inappropriate. I do see plenty of foul language of course, but you get plenty of that from any direction you turn in the modern world anyway. And probably in the pre-modern world too.

Back then I also joined voice chat with a lot of adult guys who were 10-20 years older than me when I was a teenager, and still all of them were just totally normal dudes who had a long day at work and were trying to relax with some Halo or something at the end of the night. Conversation was always 100% normal.

Internet forums and social media outlets are probably worse in this respect, and especially for girls. That's where I hear most of the manipulation stories coming from, where some poor kid was tricked into sending illicit content that was then used against them, etc.

Re: Ask HN: Tech-savvy parents, what are the gadget rules for your kids?

#132

Post by hazza_n_dazza » Wed, Nov 17, 2021, 9:53 PM UTC

Social media for kids is a lot like heroin. If you don't get started, then you don't crave it.

As a philosopher / technologist, I limit all apps with gambling or flashy light content. This is the other heroin.

Once you get rid of these ills (social media and gambling rewards) tech and media can be really great.

Don't let kids play or watch things you would not play or watch.

My 3 year old really likes Ghiblis' Spirited Away and plays Putt Putt.

Re: Ask HN: Tech-savvy parents, what are the gadget rules for your kids?

#133

Post by yumraj » Wed, Nov 17, 2021, 10:19 PM UTC

aerovistae wrote: post #131

yumraj wrote: post #115

Earlier quoted context omitted.

no multiplayer online games are for two reason: 1) as you said, they can be addictive since they are designed that way. 2) I have no control over who they are playing with, the sort of language that is/will be used (though I'm a potty mouth so ..) and what it can/may lead to. I feel a lot of people prey on kids via these channels, though I may be wrong. It's just an additional layer, but overall kids haven't complain…

Yeah #1 I can get behind but fwiw I think #2 isn't a real concern. In the past 20 years I've probably spent 8,000ish hours playing multiplayer games online, since I was about 11 or so, and never once in all that time had someone pull anything inappropriate. I do see plenty of foul language of course, but you get plenty of that from any direction you turn in the modern world anyway. And probably in the pre-modern worl…

> fwiw I think #2 isn't a real concern

Thanks, good to know.. I guess I can relax a bit if my kids ever ask about a specific online games and pester me a bit :)

I do kind of agree with the rest of your comment also...

Re: Ask HN: Tech-savvy parents, what are the gadget rules for your kids?

#134

Post by cmrdporcupine » Wed, Nov 17, 2021, 10:31 PM UTC

watwut wrote: post #114

cmrdporcupine wrote: post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Absolutely. This happened just last week and it was the worst -- door locked and barricaded shut, would not eat dinner, wouldn't talk to us for hours, just the worst. Terrifying parent moment and all we did was put our foot down. So hard to set the limits and enforce them.

I think it is because loss of phone also means social isolation during that period.

It was literally just taking the phone away for the rest of the day, that's it. So, no.

Re: Ask HN: Tech-savvy parents, what are the gadget rules for your kids?

#135

Post by quintes » Wed, Nov 17, 2021, 11:31 PM UTC

aantix wrote: post #62

1) For M-F, they are allowed 1 hour a day. Go to Settings->Screen Time->App Limits. 2) For Sat and Sun, 3 hour limit, but a time window of 6am-9am. So if they're going to use the time, it'd better be in the morning while we're sleeping in. :) Go to Settings->Screen Time->Downtime (enable scheduled). 3) I've always curated their Youtube subscriptions, without their knowledge, unsubscribing from the 100's of Minecraft…

Got some tips on which Science and discovery type channels?

Re: Ask HN: Tech-savvy parents, what are the gadget rules for your kids?

#136

Post by popcube » Wed, Nov 17, 2021, 11:48 PM UTC

aikinai wrote: post #26

I seem to have a very different experience from most of the comments so far, so thought I should share. My kids are 6 and 2 and we have no screen time limits but also no problems right now. However, I also think nature is very strong, and we're probably lucky that the kids are naturally very active and don't want to sit at a screen for long periods of time. The oldest used to want devices so bad I was really worried…

how can you do this! most of kids after they first get their infinite screen time spend all of time on play mobil games and watch YouTube funny videos.... my family just gave up, we just think every kid are in same condition.

Re: Ask HN: Tech-savvy parents, what are the gadget rules for your kids?

#137

Post by 908B64B197 » Thu, Nov 18, 2021, 12:11 AM UTC

aproductguy wrote: post #42

Two boys, 9 and almost 7. They get 40 minutes a day (mon-thur) of tv that they watch together. On Friday and Sunday, we have family movie night. Age appropriate, which is getting harder. 2 hours a week of games (mostly switch, but they sometimes play minecraft or approved games on mobile devices). This happens over Sat/Sun, and we let them manage how they want to allocate time over the two days. One observation is th…

> One observation is that after they play video games, they get agitated and angry afterwards, and it ruins the next hour or two of activities as they act like little assholes.

Two hours isn't a long time to make any progress on a game, especially if they start playing strategy games like Age of Empire where 1 hour games are the norm. It must be very frustrating for them to stop for arbitrary reasons (the $EVIL_SCREEN can't be used for more than $TIME) when they know their schoolwork is done and friends are still online.

> The one area where it gets dicey is my 9 year old is learning how to code, so managing that screen time is weird (is it like watching tv/playing games?)

It might feel like a game to him. Remember reading books? Assigned reading took the fun out of reading since the selection was imposed and you knew you were goign to be quized on it. But especially if it's unstructured and there's no assignment, he may think programming is a weird sandbox/logic game.

Re: Ask HN: Tech-savvy parents, what are the gadget rules for your kids?

#138

Post by torte » Thu, Nov 18, 2021, 1:21 AM UTC

8 years old. 30 minute screen time per day. Enforced via Google Family Link and Switch Parental controls. He has to finish all his daily errands before he is allowed to play (mostly like unpacking his school bags, do his homework/reading, etc).

We allow him extra time if he helps at home with things, either watching our little one or doing laundry or others which come up.

He is mostly playing Minecraft, Roblox or watches Youtube videos about those games or Lego on Youtube Kids. He barely watches any TV anymore, a movie every other week or some TV show every now and then.

Re: Ask HN: Tech-savvy parents, what are the gadget rules for your kids?

#139

Post by tmaly » Thu, Nov 18, 2021, 1:34 AM UTC

I have an 8 year old. She uses Chromebook at school for writing.

At home she uses an Ipad for homework.

I teach her Scratch coding on the iPad. We also do some microbit coding.

Once in a while she will ask to watch a video on beagles on YouTube. That is the extent of it.

Some of her classmates have Tiktok accounts. I am not sure their parents know. I think I have a good level of trust with my kids. I have not run into any issues.

Re: Ask HN: Tech-savvy parents, what are the gadget rules for your kids?

#140

Post by RickJWagner » Thu, Nov 18, 2021, 2:37 AM UTC

Kids age 16, 19 and 22. The following rules have applied since birth to all:

- If I pay for the phone, the computer or the internet, I get passwords.

- Any electronic devices are subject to 'audit' (view browser history, pictures, etc) at any time.

- Play games reasonably lengthy times, just be in bed by lights-out time (approximately 9:30 pm)

- No games with obscene visual content or bad language. Violence is generally allowed.

All 3 kids (including the 10th grader) have ACT scores in the 30s. All the kids (including the college student and the one that's recently graduated) still love Mom and Dad and come to the house often.