111–120 of 159 posts
At 18, kid should have full control of own device and privacy. Newborn should have 0 access. And in between you have to gradually loose control.
I'm not a parent, but I was somewhat recently parented. Consider holding yourself to the same standard you set for your kid. My parents are mental health professionals and did this with me. I think it was incredibly valuable and I respect them a lot for it now that I'm older. I don't think its wise to restrict usage, watch over their shoulder, or block websites if you aren't willing to submit to the same restrictions…
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Word of caution - my parents strictly controlled screen time until I was a young adult - at which point they just stopped. At the same time I moved to a room they couldn't supervise. I lacked the self discipline tools to control my own bed times and screen time, and failed to manage either, impacting my grades. That was an important lesson for sure, but I do think if we'd done something more phased earlier on, it wou…
A friend of mine had his son (14) playing sometimes all night. He thought, as his son is (really) smart, that he will realise by himself it was stupid. Well, he didn't, his grades fall and now he doesn't even live with my friend, as his mother (ex-wife of my friend) let him do whatever he wants, so he decides to move with her. We all cross finger that he will at a time have an epiphany and go back on track...
And if they spend most of the time playing, they will adopt values of whatever gaming community they run into. And gaming communities don't tend to think gaming is stupid.
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We tried taking the phone from our teenager as punishment for something and it was like taking a needle from a heroin addict.
Absolutely. This happened just last week and it was the worst -- door locked and barricaded shut, would not eat dinner, wouldn't talk to us for hours, just the worst. Terrifying parent moment and all we did was put our foot down. So hard to set the limits and enforce them.
High school kid (HSK), Elementary School kid (ESK) HSK has a cellphone (iPhone), ESK does not, and will not get till ESK is in High School. HSK got cellphone in 9th grade. HSK has the iPhone parent thing on his phone so that HSK needs permission for installing apps. No social media apps of any kind, except Join me, which is used by school (I had to compromise here). HSK is ok with it. At home: We don't use FB, Instag…
This seems like one of the best schemes I've heard here so far. Only part I disagree with is the "no multiplayer online games" - they are addictive, I've lost a lot of time to them in my life, so maybe you're right, but I want to believe moderation is better than abstinence.
1) as you said, they can be addictive since they are designed that way.
2) I have no control over who they are playing with, the sort of language that is/will be used (though I'm a potty mouth so ..) and what it can/may lead to. I feel a lot of people prey on kids via these channels, though I may be wrong. It's just an additional layer, but overall kids haven't complained about it.
1) For M-F, they are allowed 1 hour a day. Go to Settings->Screen Time->App Limits. 2) For Sat and Sun, 3 hour limit, but a time window of 6am-9am. So if they're going to use the time, it'd better be in the morning while we're sleeping in. :) Go to Settings->Screen Time->Downtime (enable scheduled). 3) I've always curated their Youtube subscriptions, without their knowledge, unsubscribing from the 100's of Minecraft…
I'm not a parent, but I was somewhat recently parented. Consider holding yourself to the same standard you set for your kid. My parents are mental health professionals and did this with me. I think it was incredibly valuable and I respect them a lot for it now that I'm older. I don't think its wise to restrict usage, watch over their shoulder, or block websites if you aren't willing to submit to the same restrictions…
Effects of Excessive Screen Time on Neurodevelopment, Learning, Memory, Mental Health, and Neurodegeneration: a Scoping Review https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11469-019-00182-2 Evidence suggests that chronic sensory stimulation via excessive exposure to screen time may affect brain development in negative ways. Excessive smartphone use may increase the risk of cognitive, behavioral, and emotional disorders in adolescents and young adults that also has the potential to increase the risk of early onset dementia in late adulthood.
https://healthmatters.nyp.org/what-does-too-much-screen-time... Early data from a landmark National Institutes of Health (NIH) study that began in 2018 indicates that children who spent more than two hours a day on screen-time activities scored lower on language and thinking tests, and some children with more than seven hours a day of screen time experienced thinning of the brain’s cortex, the area of the brain related to critical thinking and reasoning.
Sure, they won't call it 'brain damage' - just reduced cognitive reasoning and critical thinking.
7,12,14. I find that rules and firewalls and schedules and blocking are a fools errand - it is a cat-and-mouse game that you can't win. So we just turn off the Internet. We have a different wifi network for the children that has a very restrictive schedule. Basically just Fri/Sat night and 15 mins on weekday evenings to send messages to friends and check school assignments. The 7 year old gets his Nintendo Switch on…
> The other reason this works so well is that our children are not our friends. We don't have a peer relationship with them and we don't owe them explanations as to why our family is different from other families or blah blah blah. You are aware that if you don't become friends with them as they grow up it's very likely you will very likely have a very limited relationship unless you continue to send them money?
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> The other reason this works so well is that our children are not our friends. We don't have a peer relationship with them and we don't owe them explanations as to why our family is different from other families or blah blah blah. You are aware that if you don't become friends with them as they grow up it's very likely you will very likely have a very limited relationship unless you continue to send them money?
I would agree that parents are not friends. It sounds harsh on the surface, but it just denotes that parenthood is a very separate category of relationship. You can't be a responsible parent if you treat your kids exactly like e.g. your adult friends or your neighbor's kids.