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Ask HN: Tech-savvy parents, what are the gadget rules for your kids?

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Re: Ask HN: Tech-savvy parents, what are the gadget rules for your kids?

#41

Post by ndnichols »

shubb wrote: post #19
ndnichols wrote: post #8

We have three kids, aged 6, 3, and 10 months. The six-year-old gets ~30 minutes of Switch play a week (mostly driving circles in Rocket League), and the whole family watches an episode of Lego Masters on Sunday. That's the only screen time they get. When our oldest was ~3, he had been potty trained for awhile. We were on vacation and he was on the iPad we had brought for the plane. He was so engrossed in the game tha…

Word of caution - my parents strictly controlled screen time until I was a young adult - at which point they just stopped. At the same time I moved to a room they couldn't supervise. I lacked the self discipline tools to control my own bed times and screen time, and failed to manage either, impacting my grades. That was an important lesson for sure, but I do think if we'd done something more phased earlier on, it wou…

Thanks, we're aware of that possibility. We talk a lot with them about the motivation for the limits so hopefully they will see the value in applying them to themselves even when we're not around. But it's obviously a long journey. Hope you've developed those tools now, I'm sorry you weren't set up to succeed there.

Re: Ask HN: Tech-savvy parents, what are the gadget rules for your kids?

#42

Post by aproductguy »

Two boys, 9 and almost 7.

They get 40 minutes a day (mon-thur) of tv that they watch together.

On Friday and Sunday, we have family movie night. Age appropriate, which is getting harder.

2 hours a week of games (mostly switch, but they sometimes play minecraft or approved games on mobile devices). This happens over Sat/Sun, and we let them manage how they want to allocate time over the two days.

One observation is that after they play video games, they get agitated and angry afterwards, and it ruins the next hour or two of activities as they act like little assholes.

They do have access to Spotify to listen to music (content controls are turned on), but if we notice that they are watching the videos and not "listening" the phones turn off.

The one area where it gets dicey is my 9 year old is learning how to code, so managing that screen time is weird (is it like watching tv/playing games?). I dunno, but I generally don't say anything as this is his best use of devices during the week.

Shit is hard to keep up with tbh.

Re: Ask HN: Tech-savvy parents, what are the gadget rules for your kids?

#43

Post by rwbt »

rsync wrote: post #38

7,12,14. I find that rules and firewalls and schedules and blocking are a fools errand - it is a cat-and-mouse game that you can't win. So we just turn off the Internet. We have a different wifi network for the children that has a very restrictive schedule. Basically just Fri/Sat night and 15 mins on weekday evenings to send messages to friends and check school assignments. The 7 year old gets his Nintendo Switch on…

Ethernet only sounds like a good idea, even for adults ;)

Re: Ask HN: Tech-savvy parents, what are the gadget rules for your kids?

#44

Post by someguydave »

aproductguy wrote: post #42

Two boys, 9 and almost 7. They get 40 minutes a day (mon-thur) of tv that they watch together. On Friday and Sunday, we have family movie night. Age appropriate, which is getting harder. 2 hours a week of games (mostly switch, but they sometimes play minecraft or approved games on mobile devices). This happens over Sat/Sun, and we let them manage how they want to allocate time over the two days. One observation is th…

yeah my kids get angry after playing video games, especially if they lose

Re: Ask HN: Tech-savvy parents, what are the gadget rules for your kids?

#46

Post by aproductguy »

someguydave wrote: post #44
aproductguy wrote: post #42

Two boys, 9 and almost 7. They get 40 minutes a day (mon-thur) of tv that they watch together. On Friday and Sunday, we have family movie night. Age appropriate, which is getting harder. 2 hours a week of games (mostly switch, but they sometimes play minecraft or approved games on mobile devices). This happens over Sat/Sun, and we let them manage how they want to allocate time over the two days. One observation is th…

yeah my kids get angry after playing video games, especially if they lose

I truly hate it. The only saving grace to all of this is that both my boys read at least an hour a day. hopefully it all balances out, but we will have a strict no social media rule until they get to the teenagers that we can't manage anymore.

Re: Ask HN: Tech-savvy parents, what are the gadget rules for your kids?

#47

Post by Aeolun »

rsync wrote: post #38

7,12,14. I find that rules and firewalls and schedules and blocking are a fools errand - it is a cat-and-mouse game that you can't win. So we just turn off the Internet. We have a different wifi network for the children that has a very restrictive schedule. Basically just Fri/Sat night and 15 mins on weekday evenings to send messages to friends and check school assignments. The 7 year old gets his Nintendo Switch on…

> we don't owe them explanations as to why our family is different from other families

Don’t you feel like this will backfire at some point? I don’t think I would have liked it if my parents never explained themselves.

Re: Ask HN: Tech-savvy parents, what are the gadget rules for your kids?

#48

Post by JeanMarcS »

A boy and a girl, 11.

They got a tablet each and 1H a day of use max, in a 7AM-8PM window.

They can only play games on it on week-ends (blocked with Family Links) and during holidays, and have no internet webbrowser access. They mostly use duolingo, image and video editing and stuf like that. They have an email address to exchange with friends.

TV an episode of a show (curently Gravity Falls) in English (we're French) when tere's no school the day after.

And sometimes a movie on weekend, or some Recalbox time (which I prefer becaus I play with them :-)

Re: Ask HN: Tech-savvy parents, what are the gadget rules for your kids?

#49

Post by staunch »

someguydave wrote: post #44
aproductguy wrote: post #42

Two boys, 9 and almost 7. They get 40 minutes a day (mon-thur) of tv that they watch together. On Friday and Sunday, we have family movie night. Age appropriate, which is getting harder. 2 hours a week of games (mostly switch, but they sometimes play minecraft or approved games on mobile devices). This happens over Sat/Sun, and we let them manage how they want to allocate time over the two days. One observation is th…

yeah my kids get angry after playing video games, especially if they lose

If their game time is highly restricted then:

1. Losing is hugely disappointing because there's no time to win the next one

2. They can't get very good, so gaming is more frustrating

3. They can't build coping skills because of how little they've won/lost

Re: Ask HN: Tech-savvy parents, what are the gadget rules for your kids?

#50

Post by JoeJBrown »

It’s really interesting to see the different approaches. We’ve spoke to loads of parents in the past few months whilst building URSOR[0], where we are creating a safe space for kids on the internet to discover, learn and play online, and providing parents the control and visibility they need to protect their kids.

In terms of managing screen-time and developing healthy digital habits we’ve written a blog post discussing three general themes that are important in reaching the right set up for you [1]. And it’ll be different for every parent.

To summarise - It’s important to find a balance rather than going for extremes when managing device times, as other commenters have said, super-restrictive rules often leads to adverse behaviour.

- Be a good role-model when it comes to managing screen time. Be present with your kids and try to set clear boundaries between work time and family time (although this can be tough)

- Make it a family discussion. Set clear rules, but involve kids in the decision. And be involved in your kids screen time!

[0] https://www.ursor.com/

[1] https://www.ursor.com/blog/3-simple-parenting-rules-for-tech...

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