Divorce does funny things

Hopefully it is not poor taste, but I do disagree with your advice. Yes, marriage comes with a great deal of risk, because it is codifying your love. Love itself is risk, though. As C.S. Lewis said:

> To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.

Yes, marriage opens yourself up to a great deal of potential financial damage. It also opens yourself up to a secure romance and friendship, where you can build a future based on commitment to one another. I far prefer to give my wife not just my love and companionship, but also my commitment, my future, and yes, my money. She does the same for me, and it is far more secure and stable than just a dating relationship which could end at any time for any reason. Divorce is way harder to go through than a simple breakup, for either party. Just the sheer effort of a divorce gives you stability, regardless of social, legal, and cultural implications.

What am I supposed to take from that? That you're for the use of scientific research here?

> Reminds of the droning crowds who claimed in March 2020 that masks don't work "because there is no supporting research".

Since you brought it up, maybe if you supported looking into the research more often you'd be aware of how little supporting evidence there is - not research, there's been research but it has failed to find the evidence you seem to believe exists.

From[1]:

> This recent crop of trials added 9,112 participants to the total randomised denominator of 13,259 and showed that masks alone have no significant effect in interrupting the spread of ILI or influenza in the general population, nor in healthcare workers.

> It would appear that despite two decades of pandemic preparedness, there is considerable uncertainty as to the value of wearing masks.

From[2]:

> Evidence from 14 trials on the use of masks vs. no masks was disappointing: it showed no effect in either healthcare workers or in community settings. We could also find no evidence of a difference between the N95 and other types of masks but the trials comparing the two had not been carried in aerosol-generating procedures.

> But what of the folk walking down the road, going to the supermarket or watching the ducks in the pond?

> The answer is simple: we do not know.

From[3]:

> Unlike other studies looking at masks, the Danmask study was a randomised controlled trial – making it the highest quality scientific evidence.

> In the end, there was no statistically significant difference between those who wore masks and those who did not when it came to being infected by Covid-19.

> When it comes to masks, it appears there is still little good evidence they prevent the spread of airborne diseases. The results of the Danmask-19 trial mirror other reviews into influenza-like illnesses.

> But overall, there is a troubling lack of robust evidence on face masks and Covid-19.

They go on but I think that's enough, even for someone who appears to abhor research as much as you. If that's not the case then I suggest making yourself clearer in future rather than trying to pass off the blame through straw man responses.

[1] https://www.cebm.net/covid-19/masking-lack-of-evidence-with-...

[2] https://www.cebm.net/covid-19/covid-19-masks-on-or-off/

[3] https://www.spectator.co.uk/article/do-masks-stop-the-spread...

If you were fortunate enough to marry a similarly earning woman then congratulations. Unfortunately - those are exceptional for this industry. At least where I am - it is rare to find a woman making $400K+/yr like I am. Even rarer that she’ll continue working after marriage - as many of the women I know who have made it that far end up giving up the gig and leave the husband to climb the rest of the career ladder to make up for the lost income.

Ultimately - your argument isn’t good. Your argument is “you should get married because getting divorced is so painful!” Why not just avoid divorce altogether?

I’ve seen enough loveless marriages. I put my fucking partner through college at an elite institution. I’m out well over $100K on that - and I didn’t even marry the woman. You don’t need to be married to support someone or to be giving.

Your marriage could end at any point. You just live naively thinking it won’t - but it can and it certainly could. There’s nothing stopping your wife from walking out the door and then filing for divorce. All that is different is that she needs to fill out a few forms or get you to pay for a lawyer - and the upside for her is immense. Hugely immense. Your earning for decades and half of your savings.