Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

The benefits of not belonging

hardfork.substack.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

21–30 of 146 posts

Re: The benefits of not belonging

#21

Post by mixmastamyk »

IAmWorried wrote: post #3

Honestly does anybody NOT feel alienated in our current society? The US is overly hostile, we imported the whole world and all its cultural hangups with it. I mean if you're white people are shitting on you, if you're black people are shitting on you, if you're male people are shitting on you, if you're female people are shitting on you... like what exactly is this country FOR? Does anybody REALLY feel like they belo…

Turn off the TV and anti-social media, take a walk in the sunshine, and voila.

Re: The benefits of not belonging

#22

Post by RobertRoberts »

dnissley wrote: post #12
RobertRoberts wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not where I live, rural America. All the insanity is _literally_ in the big cities. There are minorities out here and we all get along just fine. It's political groups and the media that get people whipped up into hatred for each other, not individuals or communities. The times have changed, and the media and agitators (no better term?) that don't want to admit they are part of the problem.

This is a very rosy view of rural America, to which I am a frequent visitor. Just a few dysfunctions off the top of my head: - Reactionary politics were born in rural America, urban America is just catching up these days. - The value system of rural America is dismissive of nerdy/intellectual pursuits, and so it drives out talent that was already enticed by the opportunities present in cities. - More broadly there is…

Come live out here for a while, talk with people, understand them.

I've lived all over, including LA, east coast, south, Chicago, near the border of Mexico (I worked with illegals there even in sweat shops).

Rural America is garden of peace and contentment compared to the urban areas.

Your views are admitedly from a visitor... and there is no way you can compare them equally that way.

Ignore Foxnews & CNN and get to know rural America before condemning it.

Re: The benefits of not belonging

#23

Post by RobertRoberts »

Svperstar wrote: post #7
RobertRoberts wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not where I live, rural America. All the insanity is _literally_ in the big cities. There are minorities out here and we all get along just fine. It's political groups and the media that get people whipped up into hatred for each other, not individuals or communities. The times have changed, and the media and agitators (no better term?) that don't want to admit they are part of the problem.

>There are minorities out here and we all get along just fine. I wonder if we talked to minorities in rural communities if they would agree with your assessment.

That is a great idea.

I have found that people that don't like being questioned/challenged have something to hide like a con-man or someone selling fake luxury goods.

Re: The benefits of not belonging

#24

Post by RobertRoberts »

Stronico wrote: post #9
RobertRoberts wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not where I live, rural America. All the insanity is _literally_ in the big cities. There are minorities out here and we all get along just fine. It's political groups and the media that get people whipped up into hatred for each other, not individuals or communities. The times have changed, and the media and agitators (no better term?) that don't want to admit they are part of the problem.

It can be nice in big cities too, maybe a little harder, but still pretty easy - all you have to do is remove social media and the clickbait/outrage web and life becomes pretty normal.

I agree that cities can be great at times. But as a whole comparatively they are not as stable or peaceful.

Re: The benefits of not belonging

#25

Post by 8ytecoder »

bxparks wrote: post #14

I wonder if there is a bit of survivorship bias in this article. Some kids grow up in a non-friendly environment, but develop the skills to deal with the adversity, and when they grow up, those skills become highly advantageous. Other kids whither and fall apart in such an adverse environment, suffer from low self-esteem, substance abuse, and other mental illnesses, and never get the chance to reap the benefits of be…

Indeed. And I have seen cases of both happening within the same single family. Different kids react to the same external pressure in different ways.

Re: The benefits of not belonging

#26

Post by tejtm »

Svperstar wrote: post #7
RobertRoberts wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not where I live, rural America. All the insanity is _literally_ in the big cities. There are minorities out here and we all get along just fine. It's political groups and the media that get people whipped up into hatred for each other, not individuals or communities. The times have changed, and the media and agitators (no better term?) that don't want to admit they are part of the problem.

>There are minorities out here and we all get along just fine. I wonder if we talked to minorities in rural communities if they would agree with your assessment.

In my experience rural Americans tend to live in abject terror of just how fine they would feel were they treated as they treat minorities and it is compounded by a deep down understanding they are already the minority, it just has not arrived there yet.

I wish I could alleviate their fear. Given the opportunity, people are people, good & bad do not stratify in any meaningful way along the arbitrary lines that get drawn.

Re: The benefits of not belonging

#27

Post by kayodelycaon »

bxparks wrote: post #14

I wonder if there is a bit of survivorship bias in this article. Some kids grow up in a non-friendly environment, but develop the skills to deal with the adversity, and when they grow up, those skills become highly advantageous. Other kids whither and fall apart in such an adverse environment, suffer from low self-esteem, substance abuse, and other mental illnesses, and never get the chance to reap the benefits of be…

I think there is. I think they are just speaking from their own experience. They are an authority on their own life experience and know what they've learned but that doesn't generalize. Advice is only right for the right person at the right time.

> The best way to be liked is to just agree with everyone.

This view is incomplete. Human relationships are build on connections. You can create those connections by agreeing with people, but that creates a very swallow connection.

An example of connections is networking: you mingle in a group of people at an event and start or join conversations. Everyone at the event starts the shared experience of being there. After a conversation, you might find someone that works in the same city you do, that adds another connection. And so on.

:)

Re: The benefits of not belonging

#28

Post by KittenInABox »

RobertRoberts wrote: post #22
dnissley wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is a very rosy view of rural America, to which I am a frequent visitor. Just a few dysfunctions off the top of my head: - Reactionary politics were born in rural America, urban America is just catching up these days. - The value system of rural America is dismissive of nerdy/intellectual pursuits, and so it drives out talent that was already enticed by the opportunities present in cities. - More broadly there is…

Come live out here for a while, talk with people, understand them. I've lived all over, including LA, east coast, south, Chicago, near the border of Mexico (I worked with illegals there even in sweat shops). Rural America is garden of peace and contentment compared to the urban areas. Your views are admitedly from a visitor... and there is no way you can compare them equally that way. Ignore Foxnews & CNN and get to…

I lived in Rural America as a clear immigrant of color (my parents not fluent in English) and it sucked ass.

Re: The benefits of not belonging

#29

Post by cblconfederate »

I was just wondering, are there disconnected internets that i can join? I d rather stay in a limited sector that is not overpopulated and oversaturated with the mainstream, even if it has huge downsides. Just like how biology uses membranes to build the useful stuff , i think we need harder borders between internet communities to increase the variance. Everyone moving around like a giant mob and lashing at each other in universal platforms is not productive. I wonder what kind of tech is needed to begin the great internet fragmentation.

Re: The benefits of not belonging

#30

Post by TimedToasts »

Svperstar wrote: post #7
RobertRoberts wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not where I live, rural America. All the insanity is _literally_ in the big cities. There are minorities out here and we all get along just fine. It's political groups and the media that get people whipped up into hatred for each other, not individuals or communities. The times have changed, and the media and agitators (no better term?) that don't want to admit they are part of the problem.

>There are minorities out here and we all get along just fine. I wonder if we talked to minorities in rural communities if they would agree with your assessment.

I am and I would.
Post reply on HN