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Divorce does funny things

theparisreview.org

91–100 of 386 posts

Re: Divorce does funny things

#91
post #58

On infidelity - to some extent people's personal business is not my business. But if I hear that someone was unfaithful to their spouse, my business trust in them goes waaay down. If they're willing to break trust with the person closest to them in their life, what chance do I have as a mere business partner of not being screwed over at some point?

Everyone is able to fall in love with someone else if put into a certain position with the right attributes. That's how the world works and is in many cases not the end of the world. Setting someone up in a business deal is much worse. So these 2 things are completely different and not the same.

Re: Divorce does funny things

#92
post #88

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>If you have much to do with family court you'd fully understand why suicide is a way out for men treated like sources of money with little other value. That depends on the country. But if I'd live in US I wouldn't marry without a prenuptial agreement.

In plenty of places, you don't even want to live with someone too long without a pre-nuptial agreement and even then the law can cancel those agreements.

You can also take preventive measures, establish an offshore company and move all your assets on that. Move money in off-shore accounts. If you have nothing under your name, nothing can be taken from you.

Re: Divorce does funny things

#93
post #70
post #58

On infidelity - to some extent people's personal business is not my business. But if I hear that someone was unfaithful to their spouse, my business trust in them goes waaay down. If they're willing to break trust with the person closest to them in their life, what chance do I have as a mere business partner of not being screwed over at some point?

It's only that black and white to you because of your naivety and a lack of understanding of how the world really works. The solution for this as for many other things is to switch off the computer and actually go out and experience the world and become more worldly. Otherwise, you will end up building a mental model of reality that quite doesn't exist.

I have two children and a family, but the grandparent is right while you are a clown.

divorce command should go before unzip command.

Re: Divorce does funny things

#94
post #58

On infidelity - to some extent people's personal business is not my business. But if I hear that someone was unfaithful to their spouse, my business trust in them goes waaay down. If they're willing to break trust with the person closest to them in their life, what chance do I have as a mere business partner of not being screwed over at some point?

Everyone is able to fall in love with someone else if put into a certain position with the right attributes. That's how the world works and is in many cases not the end of the world. Setting someone up in a business deal is much worse. So these 2 things are completely different and not the same.

It's one thing to be upfront. "I love someone new, let's divorce / some other arrangement." There will be hurt feelings but that's life. The honesty will help everyone in the long run.

It's entirely another thing to sneak around - to do something you promised not to do, but in secret, so you don't get caught.

It is my observation and experience that the kind of person who breaks trust in secret is not someone I want to rely on in other parts of life.

Re: Divorce does funny things

#95
post #70
post #58

On infidelity - to some extent people's personal business is not my business. But if I hear that someone was unfaithful to their spouse, my business trust in them goes waaay down. If they're willing to break trust with the person closest to them in their life, what chance do I have as a mere business partner of not being screwed over at some point?

It's only that black and white to you because of your naivety and a lack of understanding of how the world really works. The solution for this as for many other things is to switch off the computer and actually go out and experience the world and become more worldly. Otherwise, you will end up building a mental model of reality that quite doesn't exist.

[deleted]

Re: Divorce does funny things

#96
post #88

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In plenty of places, you don't even want to live with someone too long without a pre-nuptial agreement and even then the law can cancel those agreements.

You can also take preventive measures, establish an offshore company and move all your assets on that. Move money in off-shore accounts. If you have nothing under your name, nothing can be taken from you.

...but I only met her last night for a beer and dinner, you mean I have to set up an international group of companies to protect my stereo, fancy dining table and car? Yes, son. Otherwise you'll lose everything. Here's a list of firms that can help...

What a world we live in. I doubt nothing you wrote but the steps that lead to your understanding seem as difficult as my own. Society is truly a mess.

Re: Divorce does funny things

#97
post #81

If you have much to do with family court you'd fully understand why suicide is a way out for men treated like sources of money with little other value. It would be quite educational for all men to attend family court as an observer prior to marriage. They might reconsider marriage as an institution altogether. Society itself might have to realise how badly things are set up. Maybe not. Everything's fine. Enjoy your s…

[deleted]

Re: Divorce does funny things

#98
post #70
post #58

On infidelity - to some extent people's personal business is not my business. But if I hear that someone was unfaithful to their spouse, my business trust in them goes waaay down. If they're willing to break trust with the person closest to them in their life, what chance do I have as a mere business partner of not being screwed over at some point?

It's only that black and white to you because of your naivety and a lack of understanding of how the world really works. The solution for this as for many other things is to switch off the computer and actually go out and experience the world and become more worldly. Otherwise, you will end up building a mental model of reality that quite doesn't exist.

Your assumptions about me are incorrect. I had a much more sarcastic comment written but it didn't seem appropriate for HN.

Re: Divorce does funny things

#99
post #80

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Fwiw, the large majority (~70%) of divorces are initiated by women in the US. Most divorces are not caused by cancer, and the advantage men have in re-marrying later are known and appreciated. So I think we can take the fact that most divorces are initiated by women as prima facie evidence that women recover better from divorces.

It could equally be seen as evidence that staying in a bad marriage is worse for women than for men, so women will risk more to escape that scenario. (Presumably people file because they expect a better life outcome for themselves from divorce than from not divorcing. This could be because they expect a better outcome due to divorce, as you say; or that they expect a worse outcome if they don't divorce, which is my a…

To expect a better outcome with divorce is to expect a worse outcome without divorce.

Re: Divorce does funny things

#100
post #58

On infidelity - to some extent people's personal business is not my business. But if I hear that someone was unfaithful to their spouse, my business trust in them goes waaay down. If they're willing to break trust with the person closest to them in their life, what chance do I have as a mere business partner of not being screwed over at some point?

I agree. If they are sloppy enough to get caught or brag about it to everyone they aren't going to be a good business partner
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