Ask HN: Messed up my education, now 30 and regretting it. What to do?

13 years later, I'm CTO and cofounder of a mid-sized startup on escape trajectory. Your mileage not just _may_ but _will_ vary, but here's a selection of things that personally helped me most on my journey:

Understanding what actually creates my value as a software developer and obsessively trying to focussing on that. Doing helpful things and be known for delivering results. Going far above what was expected, but also making sure it was noticed. Choosing stellar bosses who wanted to develop me, very selectively, and making them successful. Taking responsibility that nobody wanted whereever there was a vacuum. Being bold in daring solutions (but also learning how to seriously piss off superiors and avoiding that). Staying focused on solutions, not on problems. Regularly taking new opportunities that gave me the biggest stretch and largest learning opportunity.

Aiming at the phrasing of your "messed up", I'm only now learning to deal with the level of impostor syndrome this journey brought me and how to switch off from the pressure I put myself into: one of my biggest challenges so far was actually how to learn to love myself and deal with the emotional fallout from my perceived failure in my mid twenties. Looking back, I would have started especially that part of the journey earlier.

The only thing I never regretted was putting a single step back into school.

Good luck. You'll do it. I believe in you.

First, and perhaps most important: there is _zero_ shame in going back to school at any age.

That said, don't derail your career for this. Career success (IMO) is a function of career momentum and you'll have a hard time getting started again if you stop now.

You have several other options:

1. Go to an online school. University of London (via Coursera), University of the People, Colorado Tech, and Western Governors' University all have CS programs that you can do online and at your own pace. They're all reasonably priced and you can likely pay out of pocket for them (especially University of the People - total cost for the degree is ~$5k).

2. Just learn stuff on your own. You're lucky to work in a field where people are very eager to share what they've been working on. You want to learn 3D graphics? Write a raytracer. Distributed systems? Implement raft. Machine learning? Follow one of a bazillion tutorials out there to get started. Then keep going. Talk to people in the field, tell them what you've been working on, and ask what to do next (think of it as a load-balanced apprenticeship). Formal education or not, nothing changes the fact that learning something thoroughly requires time, focus, and patience. It's perhaps a bit more work to learn something this way, but if you have the discipline to do it, you'll learn much more than you would in a university course (IMO).

3. Learn the material and don't worry about the degree. https://teachyourselfcs.com/, for instance, is a good resource for self study.

4. Don't worry about it! You've got a good job. You make good money. Tinker with stuff on the side and invest more time where you want to invest more time. Or don't! Learn to play the piano or something. Consider why you're constantly thinking about your lack of a degree and why it's wearing you out. Are you actually bummed out about not having a degree? Or is it that you're not fully utilizing your creativity and curiosity? The solutions to those respective problems are different and if you're looking at spending thousands of dollars on a degree, it's worth being really _really_ clear on what problem you're trying to solve.

Would suggest there are two distinct motivations that should be teased apart. One of them is self-worth, one of them is skill/expertise development.

Self-worth: just about all of the folks I know who don't have a BS and are working in tech feel like they are imposturing. The absence of a credential impacts their personal sense of self-worth and qualification. A number of these folks are very, very senior, extremely skilled, well respected, etc. From what I have seen, it does not and has not impacted their career development/potential in the areas where they have skills. The imposturing is purely in their minds. I relatedly see folks who have a PhD from a second or third tier school and have a self-perception of being failures. In reality are incredibly sharp, organized, competent- ideal colleagues. Your mental health and self-image is your own, but this is a vote not to spend time/money for a credential primarily for a sense of worth.

Expertise: this is a different dimension. The areas you mention- some kinds of ML, 3d graphics, distributed systems, many others- to work there day to day requires deep and specific expertise. It does NOT require a degree. Just skills.

To learn deep things, you need to do deep work. There is no other way. You need to carve out the time and brainspace to devote serious attention. An academic environment with guidance from faculty following a curriculum can be an excellent- tho expensive- way to do that.

As someone with a BS who in their 30s felt the same pull towards depth and went back to grad school- I definitely felt the psychic weight of being far and away the oldest student in my cohort. I got over it. It was great to be able to do the work.

In terms of opportunity cost- life is long. You have the rest of your 30s, your 40s, your 50s, your 60s- at least- to be doing productive interesting work, even if you don't need to be doing it for financial reasons.

Concur with others that the best option is to work for an employer who will fund some or all of an MS. Schools- even top 10 CS programs- in reality DNGAF whether you have a BS. For many, MS programs are critical money makers. They care that prospective students bring the $ and can demonstrate technical, organizational, and communication skills. There is an admissions process- their faculty operate a human-limited scale so your $ will be ranked against other candidate $. But some school will want your $. Start to make lists of schools/programs in areas of interest to you. You deserve to give yourself the chance!

Best wishes.

My performance did not match my perception and I was consistently outperforming my peers; getting recognition that I never felt I deserved. It turns out that practical experience is actually more valuable than academic experience. I would rather hire someone who's humble, driven, and ambitious but didn't go to CS school then someone who's none of those things but they have fancy degree.