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Steps Towards Happiness (2015)

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101–110 of 171 posts

Re: Steps Towards Happiness (2015)

#101

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well, if you want a really reductionist view of happiness, which also happens to be largely true, you could say: have children.

When you have children, why should evolution be seen as under pressure to make you happy? If the ultimate goal is to ensure that you will care for them for the time necessary for the offspring's wellbeing, there are various ways to do this without making the parents happy; in fact, making the parents happy may be counterproductive.

Well, the parents are not happy all the time. But when the offspring are safe and happy, the parents will be generally happy. Should a threat to the offspring exist, the parents will not be happy. Seems to fit with the gene's plan.

Re: Steps Towards Happiness (2015)

#102
post #41

To me it’s all about expectations (realistic or not) and wether they are met. Expect to be poor and if you hit middle class you’ll be happy and grateful. Expect to be rich and the same outcome will produce depression. Not to sound like a stoicism fanatic, but that’s one aspect that helps. Reminding yourself of everything you could lose drives some appreciation for what you have, whatever it is. And yes, acknowledgeme…

>Reminding yourself of everything you could lose drives some appreciation for what you have, whatever it is. Does that actually work for some people? Thinking about loss usually gives me a dragon like need to hoard, and guard the hoard.

Yes, but I think it’s wrong to think of it in terms of material loss — thinking what would happen if you lost your 401(k) balance isn’t going to make you happier. But thinking what would happen if you lost your important relationships or material things that bring you particular joy (a house, a car, an espresso machine, etc).

Re: Steps Towards Happiness (2015)

#103

I don't disagree with the article in principle, but to me it seems that us the modern people are pressured much harder than previous generations. At 41 y/o I have arrived at most of the same wisdom but I can't see how and where can I implement it. As others commenters said, I wish I could take a pay cut and work on things I love more than my current job. I absolutely can't afford it; not because I can't take the inco…

I think this attitude, which is becoming increasingly prevalent on the internet, is probably causing tons of unnecessary unhappiness.

How many periods in history have there been where the average person was comfortable taking a pay cut? Even if there was such a period, it would have been true only for a privileged subset of the population.

Re: Steps Towards Happiness (2015)

#104

I don't disagree with the article in principle, but to me it seems that us the modern people are pressured much harder than previous generations. At 41 y/o I have arrived at most of the same wisdom but I can't see how and where can I implement it. As others commenters said, I wish I could take a pay cut and work on things I love more than my current job. I absolutely can't afford it; not because I can't take the inco…

> but to me it seems that us the modern people are pressured much harder than previous generations. I don't think this is even close to true. In fact we've got it pretty soft compared to many earlier eras. Think about having to wake up prior to daybreak to feed the animals, milk the cows, start fires for cooking, heating (a lot of wood chopping), etc. Having to haul drinking water. Scratching out a subsistence living…

It's actually a myth that agrarian lifestyle was all that difficult. We have the enduring image of the farmer up at dawn, but the reality was that people completed the day's work in a few hours and didn't do much for the rest of the day.

Capitalism has changed that a bit now though.

That 30-40 year lifespan is also a myth. High mortality brings down the average, but people's lifespan has been around 70 throughout history.

As for whether people face more psychological pressure than previous generations, yeah there are plenty of people whose job it is to record and measure this stuff, and they all seem to say it has increased. This just may not fit with your boomer perspective.

Re: Steps Towards Happiness (2015)

#106
post #103

I don't disagree with the article in principle, but to me it seems that us the modern people are pressured much harder than previous generations. At 41 y/o I have arrived at most of the same wisdom but I can't see how and where can I implement it. As others commenters said, I wish I could take a pay cut and work on things I love more than my current job. I absolutely can't afford it; not because I can't take the inco…

I think this attitude, which is becoming increasingly prevalent on the internet, is probably causing tons of unnecessary unhappiness. How many periods in history have there been where the average person was comfortable taking a pay cut? Even if there was such a period, it would have been true only for a privileged subset of the population.

And I think your attitude generalizes too much and glosses over way too many things.

We should operate with what can we do realistically . Not what can we do hypothetically.

Hypothetically I can stop working now and have money for 3 months ahead. Realistically, I won't be able to pay rent afterwards, or even have food on the table. So I seriously disagree with your stance -- but I don't expect you to change it.

Modern times are a hamster wheel grind. At one point you just get too tired and die, and then the system yells: "NEXT!"

That's the reality in most of the world. Likely not where you live though.

Re: Steps Towards Happiness (2015)

#107

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> but to me it seems that us the modern people are pressured much harder than previous generations. I don't think this is even close to true. In fact we've got it pretty soft compared to many earlier eras. Think about having to wake up prior to daybreak to feed the animals, milk the cows, start fires for cooking, heating (a lot of wood chopping), etc. Having to haul drinking water. Scratching out a subsistence living…

Factually that's true of course but hey, at least you weren't always in debt like most of the people nowadays are. And you got to live around nature and eat actual organic food. I am not looking to the past with rose-tinted glasses, mind you -- definitely not all of it. And I didn't mean the farm life in particular. I mostly meant the post-WW2 generation. It's well-documented (but I don't keep link because why would…

> I mostly meant the post-WW2 generation. It's well-documented (but I don't keep link because why would I) that their social upwards mobility actually did exist.

A short period of the modern era in which the US was pretty much the only nation with it's manufacturing capability completely intact after the destruction of WWII. The US also realized that funding education was important for a time after the war to retrain veterans. It's how so many people were able to get college degrees essentially for free which helped boost the economy for a generation.

> at least you weren't always in debt like most of the people nowadays are

Since it sounds like you're limiting the modern era to after 2000, it seems we can stretch things a bit and look at the era of The Great Depression as being pre-modern by that definition (I think The Depression falls squarely in Modernity, but for the sake of argument...). Mortgage debt increased 8X from 1920 to 1929. Installment debt increased at similar rates. This is far from the first generation that's taken on a lot of debt.

Yes, I agree that there are forces at work which conspire to keep people in debt, however those forces are not new. Things are made worse by the high cost of housing which is caused by constrained supply (and a greater population now putting more demand on housing), but again, I'm not sure we haven't been here before. Pendulums swing. And why are houses so much bigger now than they were in that postwar era when families were larger? That also leads to higher housing costs (some of it is demand and some of it is perverse incentives for builders to build bigger houses).

Re: Steps Towards Happiness (2015)

#108
post #89

Few changes that have helped me greatly towards a happier life are: 1. Cutting out alcohol 2. 15 minute meditation before sleeping 3. Regular exercise - e.g from YouTube 4. Eating less…sort of intermittent fasting 5. Reminding myself to do actions/thoughts that my soul would approve of. Others can do what their soul approves of or not. This has been especially useful. For example I am no longer hurt if someone is bei…

I mean this list seems obvious but its incredible how few people do it.

Intermittent fasting is the only way I have been able to control my weight as an adult.

Exercising makes you feel better and live longer.

Alcohol is a poison that offers short term fun for long term sadness and pain.

Sleep makes an immediately and daily impact on your life.

Meditation (I don't do it anymore) is like cleaning for your brain and short amounts can be very helpful.

Re: Steps Towards Happiness (2015)

#109

Another thing I think that is worth remembering for nerdy, passionate, and driven people is that sometimes the sacrifice you are ostensibly making for your future happiness is worthless or may even backfire. For the longest time, I felt that persevering past my exhaustion point was virtuous and would pay dividends in the long run. And there were cases where this was true (e.g. meeting a deadline), but otherwise it wa…

In the end no one profits from this. Companies profit more from fit employees instead of overstressed ones.

Re: Steps Towards Happiness (2015)

#110

I don't disagree with the article in principle, but to me it seems that us the modern people are pressured much harder than previous generations. At 41 y/o I have arrived at most of the same wisdom but I can't see how and where can I implement it. As others commenters said, I wish I could take a pay cut and work on things I love more than my current job. I absolutely can't afford it; not because I can't take the inco…

honestly, its just our fears stopping us. As a programmer you earn enough in 1-5 years to live like a god in parts of the world. To be happy one can also start farming and have a small garden somewhere on this planet, live a decent life and be happy. Its pure fear stopping us.
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