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Scattered thoughts on why I waste my own time

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Re: Scattered thoughts on why I waste my own time

#131

Post by AnIdiotOnTheNet »

baxuz wrote: post #106
stavros wrote: post #91

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> In gambling addiction the gamblers aren't addicted to winning, they are addicted to losing, or "almost winning". I disagree. I remember my DotA addiction, I wasn't addicted to losing or "almost winning", if anything I was addicted to "almost losing". Stomping the enemy wasn't fun, getting stomped wasn't fun, almost winning but losing in the end was VERY not fun, almost losing but winning in the end was a huge high,…

That's why I try not playing competitive video games anymore. Matchmaking is set up so that you have a 50/50 win/loss rate. When you take into consideration all the outcomes you mentioned, maybe 1/20 games was fulfilling. Not to mention the "can't quit on a loss, can't quit on a winning streak" mentality.

I also gave up on competitive games right about the time everything switched to matchmaking. For all its faults, the old way of just joining servers manually led to a lot of community servers where you could actually get to know the other regulars. When you know the people you're playing with winning and losing aren't nearly as important to your enjoyment. You end up going to the server not because you're chasing a high, but because you just kinda like hanging out with people. Regulars talk to each other about their life, movies they just saw, Harry Potter lore, whatever. It's like a virtual pub.

Re: Scattered thoughts on why I waste my own time

#132

Post by Trex_Egg »

reidalert wrote: post #98
Reflecticon wrote: post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That makes an awful amount of sense. I sporadically ask myself, what would be the most fun to do for me? And then just do it. After a short period of time, I'm usually exhausted or bored by it and come back to more meaningful stuff. I got this advice from the now habit by Neil Fire. I haven't read the whole book, just skipped forward to the solution but it helps.

This thread resonated with me a lot - instead of dividing time into 'good/productive' and 'bad/unproductive', it's worth acknowledging the signal my brain is sending when it wants to scroll HN/Reddit and responding to it directly, instead of scrolling on autopilot and then feeling vaguely guilty/dissatisfied. The times when I'm able to intentionally take a break feel much more restorative than the times when I'm acti…

This sounds like mindful procrastination. Good.

Re: Scattered thoughts on why I waste my own time

#133

Post by Enginerrrd »

mlac wrote: post #126
uyt wrote: post #99

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wonder if there's an evolutionary reason for that preference or if this is just an edge case in our rewards system that never mattered until it became heavily exploited by other humans in the modern world.

Hunting and gathering. There may or may not be an animal when you Go out. Even if you track it, it still might get away. Animals may have made it to the berries before you did, so you need to keep looking to find the next patch.

This. Hunting is like 99% boredom or encounters where you can't get in close enough to connect and 1% action.

Re: Scattered thoughts on why I waste my own time

#134

Post by bserge »

Jensson wrote: post #84
Spare_account wrote: post #64

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Asking as an adult that increasingly suspects he may be undiagnosed ADHD: Did the diagnosis result in being prescribed a treatment? If so, what, and has it helped? I'm conscious that each case must be handled individually, and whatever happened with your diagnosis/treatment would not be the same with me, but I'm interested to hear nonetheless from anyone that's willing to share.

I got diagnosed as an adult. Before then I spent my life being unable to put any time or energy into something for more than a few hours, and then I got bored and could never focus on that thing again. I couldn't do homework, I couldn't study for tests, I couldn't do much at all unless it was something hyper interesting that I could focus on it for a few hours before it became boring again. Even if I locked myself in…

What medication is it?

Re: Scattered thoughts on why I waste my own time

#135

Post by soneca »

hattmall wrote: post #58

The Hook with sites like Reddit, HN, etc is that they ARE addictive. Actually addictive in the sense of gambling. In gambling addiction the gamblers aren't addicted to winning, they are addicted to losing, or "almost winning". Now if they never ever won the addiction wouldn't form. If they ALWAYS won the addiction also wouldn't form. The old thing was email that people were addicted to checking because you MIGHT get…

I think HN is very different from Reddit, in the sense that I don’t think is addictive at all (for me).

HN doesn’t have infinite scroll, doesn’t have infinite pages with different posts. And that’s what I think would make something addictive. You keep finding new content, without leaving the site, as long as you want, until you get some reward.

On HN I have to reload the page to see something new. And I would have to keep reloading the page for several minutes until I happen to see one new post in the front page.

I want to keep up with everything that gets to the front page all I have to do is come back every hour. With a good chance of keeping up with everything checking just every 6 hours or so.

There is no way to mindless get new content in front of you.

Even keeping up with new comments is hard.

HN is no where near Reddit and other social media sites in addictiveness.

Re: Scattered thoughts on why I waste my own time

#136

Post by Trex_Egg »

dzink wrote: post #48

I find that time of day and amount of sleep received heavily influences time wasting behavior. If I catch my mind craving to watch a movie I know “100%” I need sleep - the movie my mind is craving are dreams. Same with social wasters. A good night of sleep and the brain feels perfectly engaged, focused and productive in the morning. Not getting sleep leads to anxiety and fear of missing out which leads to more social…

Nice mitigation strategy.

Re: Scattered thoughts on why I waste my own time

#137

Post by wastedhours »

mlac wrote: post #25
zz865 wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If I could restrict it to just 1 hour a day I'd be happy but its really ruining my career and social life.

Read digital minimalism, install pihole on your network, use Tailscale for DNS to point it there, implement blocks on the offending websites and categories. Make your smart phone dumb so you are limited to what you can do, and get an offline hobby. Be easy on yourself, you will relapse, and realize that nearly everything on a digital platform can be shut off and ignored with the click (or long press) of a button. Set…

I edited the hosts file on my Mac to send all these sites to 127.0.0.1... doing something means you're quite likely to know how to reverse it too though, hence why I'm writing this comment during the working day.

Re: Scattered thoughts on why I waste my own time

#138

Post by noiwillnot »

dan00 wrote: post #116
eloisius wrote: post #68

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This rings true to me. Most of the best things in my life are the same. No big plan and then engineering the small pieces to build it. I've mostly followed the small pieces that drew me at the time. I'm aware that this approach could just as likely lead you to wasting your life on whimsy and end up with nothing, but I have to say I'm surprised with how well all the parts fit together for a pleasing whole. Looking bac…

> No big plan and then engineering the small pieces to build it. I've mostly followed the small pieces that drew me at the time. I'm aware that this approach could just as likely lead you to wasting your life on whimsy and end up with nothing, but I have to say I'm surprised with how well all the parts fit together for a pleasing whole. In a way you’ve to be lucky that your interests are valued by the time and cultur…

IMO a little bit the same and in my case I ended up here because it pays well. I had other hobbies before that could not monetize no matter what.

Re: Scattered thoughts on why I waste my own time

#139

Post by hattmall »

soneca wrote: post #135
hattmall wrote: post #58

The Hook with sites like Reddit, HN, etc is that they ARE addictive. Actually addictive in the sense of gambling. In gambling addiction the gamblers aren't addicted to winning, they are addicted to losing, or "almost winning". Now if they never ever won the addiction wouldn't form. If they ALWAYS won the addiction also wouldn't form. The old thing was email that people were addicted to checking because you MIGHT get…

I think HN is very different from Reddit, in the sense that I don’t think is addictive at all (for me). HN doesn’t have infinite scroll, doesn’t have infinite pages with different posts. And that’s what I think would make something addictive. You keep finding new content, without leaving the site , as long as you want, until you get some reward. On HN I have to reload the page to see something new. And I would have t…

I agree with that completely, I don't think it's designed to be addictive, neither was email. But the randomness of the reward can create that compulsion to check.

Re: Scattered thoughts on why I waste my own time

#140

Post by ssully »

soneca wrote: post #135
hattmall wrote: post #58

The Hook with sites like Reddit, HN, etc is that they ARE addictive. Actually addictive in the sense of gambling. In gambling addiction the gamblers aren't addicted to winning, they are addicted to losing, or "almost winning". Now if they never ever won the addiction wouldn't form. If they ALWAYS won the addiction also wouldn't form. The old thing was email that people were addicted to checking because you MIGHT get…

I think HN is very different from Reddit, in the sense that I don’t think is addictive at all (for me). HN doesn’t have infinite scroll, doesn’t have infinite pages with different posts. And that’s what I think would make something addictive. You keep finding new content, without leaving the site , as long as you want, until you get some reward. On HN I have to reload the page to see something new. And I would have t…

Ehh, HN is just like any social media site in that the pleasure of using it is similar to that of IRL social interactions both good and bad. To be incredibly reductive, it's that you have a chance of having a really engaging conversation, or hearing some really awful takes (can you believe what he said earlier?!). HN isn't as bad as reddit for the reasons you stated, but it is addictive for the same core reason.
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