"When the people around you want something, we want it too ..."
This alone is an interesting idea to meditate about.
I read a book that blew my mind a little
81–90 of 97 posts
Re: I read a book that blew my mind a little
#82[deleted]
Re: I read a book that blew my mind a little
#83I must be inoculated against this wanting disease because if everyone wants something, I have a visceral desire to avoid it. This is especially true with travel where I avoid all popular sites or destinations. I also don’t celebrate holidays, listen to obscure music, live in an atypical city for tech workers, invited no one to my wedding except a witness, studied German instead of business or comp sci and list goes on. However, maybe it’s an inverse of wanting. Maybe I want those popular things but don’t choose them bc others have.
Re: I read a book that blew my mind a little
#84I'm a freelancer, so I can always choose not to work. I'm not budgeting a fixed salary, but rather deciding how much of my time I sell. Having to choose between free time and nice things tends to make what I want crystal clear.
For instance, I'd like a faster motorcycle, but I'd also like taking 3 months off. The cost is roughly the same. I could spend those 3 months riding my current motorcycle.
This is the force that counters my desire to keep up with the Joneses.
Re: I read a book that blew my mind a little
#85No offence to anyone but this is very “American”. As a European I can tell that there are absolutely some places with the same “issues”. But no, I feel free where I live since my peers don’t give a duck about “metrics”.
In Europe the metrics are simply different. I've seen people care a great deal about how much they travel, that score postgrads use to measure each other, how nice their flat is, and so on. We're just the same, albeit a little more debt-averse.
Re: I read a book that blew my mind a little
#86Don’t feel like playing the twitter bait game?
> The book is called ‘Wanting’, by an guy named Luke Burgis.
Annoying “teaser” title on this post which leads to the usual annoying twitter thread, where in this case the name of the book which blew his mind a little is actually named.
Incidentally, where exactly does blowing one’s mind “a little” rank? Is that more or less than “enlightened me”?
This combination of dumbing down and gaming communication is growing more popular, and it is making us worse humans.
Re: I read a book that blew my mind a little
#87I'm confused. Is the thesis just that: peer pressure is real?
It's a little subtler than that: peers don't just influence to do things, they influence you to want things.
>>they influence you to want things
This is a frequent topic of stress in my life. It's almost every other week, my cousin and his family show up at our home and make it a point to rub their latest purchase in our faces.
Some times my wife and mom even fall for it.
My typical approach is to let a week to a month pass between such an incident and for most purchases you realise you don't need it. Eventually you do come across a few things which they buy, and could improve your life and it make sense buying them. But giving a wait period generally helps to see if that is the case.
I also feel bad for my cousin that his happiness depends on staying in debt forever buying things just to show off.
Re: I read a book that blew my mind a little
#88I must be inoculated against this wanting disease because if everyone wants something, I have a visceral desire to avoid it. This is especially true with travel where I avoid all popular sites or destinations. I also don’t celebrate holidays, listen to obscure music, live in an atypical city for tech workers, invited no one to my wedding except a witness, studied German instead of business or comp sci and list goes o…
> I have a visceral desire to avoid it.
That could easily be defined as mimetism nonetheless.
You may genuinely have benefited from this very popular thing, but you opted out because of your fellow humans' behavior.
Even if the outcome is opposite to typical mimetism, the process is similar.
Re: I read a book that blew my mind a little
#89Nobody seems to have noticed (yet) that this wisdom was in the Bible already... So I'll be the one to point it out:
1. The one walking with the wise will become wise, But the one who has dealings with the stupid will fare badly (Proverbs 13:20).
2. Do not become unevenly yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14).
We do as we see others do, and we feel inclined to buy/travel/achieve as we see others buy/travel/achieve... So it is important to match yourself up with someone who is at least sort-of in the same ballpark (achieving realistic goals) and can be considered "wise" (as in: being able to apply knowledge).
Re: I read a book that blew my mind a little
#90I'm honestly tired of seeing mimesis and mimetic desire associated with Peter Thiel. Why is Thiel even mentioned?... To get twitter tech bro clicks?
Girard was a literary scholar who focused on myths and mimetic desire was just one part of his analysis of mythical or narrative texts. The other large part of his analysis is related to the scapegoat and how it is the "mortar" for building communal and religious social structures. Certainly read some of his essay collections or even one of his longer books. At the very least read a summary online.