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Don’t be spooky

therealadam.com

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Re: Don’t be spooky

#21

Post by Jeff_Brown »

nuclearnice1 wrote: post #11

It’s good advice for many circumstances. Do a little 5 whys analysis and ask why in the absence of information your employees are moved to terror. It might be a normal human reaction and an unavoidable power asymmetry between labor and management. On the other hand, if the median expectation is terror, perhaps that provides some valuable information about the background energy left behind from all your other communic…

This is good advice to some one who is already aware that they terrify their employees -- but many of these scary vague messaged come from people who aren't.

Re: Don’t be spooky

#22

Post by koboll »

newsbinator wrote: post #2

> When you’re communicating with your team, lead with context and reassurance. Never message someone on your team, “let’s talk when you get a minute”. That’s void of information and scary as heck! This should be engraved on a plaque in every office building.

I'd like to be able to follow this advice always, but what about when, say, you're scheduling a call with your manager to let them know you're leaving the team? Do I lead with context by titling the meeting "Discuss my Departure"?

Re: Don’t be spooky

#23

Post by [deleted] »

koboll wrote: post #22
newsbinator wrote: post #2

> When you’re communicating with your team, lead with context and reassurance. Never message someone on your team, “let’s talk when you get a minute”. That’s void of information and scary as heck! This should be engraved on a plaque in every office building.

I'd like to be able to follow this advice always, but what about when, say, you're scheduling a call with your manager to let them know you're leaving the team? Do I lead with context by titling the meeting "Discuss my Departure"?

[deleted]

Re: Don’t be spooky

#24

Post by dharmab »

koboll wrote: post #22
newsbinator wrote: post #2

> When you’re communicating with your team, lead with context and reassurance. Never message someone on your team, “let’s talk when you get a minute”. That’s void of information and scary as heck! This should be engraved on a plaque in every office building.

I'd like to be able to follow this advice always, but what about when, say, you're scheduling a call with your manager to let them know you're leaving the team? Do I lead with context by titling the meeting "Discuss my Departure"?

When I announced I was leaving to my team, I titled the meeting "Future of (project name)"

Re: Don’t be spooky

#25

Post by jlund-molfese »

koboll wrote: post #22
newsbinator wrote: post #2

> When you’re communicating with your team, lead with context and reassurance. Never message someone on your team, “let’s talk when you get a minute”. That’s void of information and scary as heck! This should be engraved on a plaque in every office building.

I'd like to be able to follow this advice always, but what about when, say, you're scheduling a call with your manager to let them know you're leaving the team? Do I lead with context by titling the meeting "Discuss my Departure"?

I’d usually first communicate that in an email where you express your appreciation and briefly explain why you’re leaving, along with your last day.

Then the manager will usually schedule an exit interview for the report (or, if you’re at a bad company, fire you on the spot).

Re: Don’t be spooky

#26

Post by vlunkr »

madamelic wrote: post #18
logicchop wrote: post #15

The way I see it, if "let's talk when you get a minute" comes across as spooky that means you already have a communication breakdown and mistrust has already blossomed. Here's a slightly different scenario: You have a disagreement with management; there are many subsequent conversations happening behind the scenes; but no one keeps you in the loop or updates you on what is being decided. In that situation, practicall…

> The way I see it, if "let's talk when you get a minute" comes across as spooky that means you already have a communication breakdown and mistrust has already blossomed. I talked with a former boss about this (in a good way): trust. I always think about this when thinking about my relationship with an employer: do I trust them to do right by me? Typically when the answer is "no", I know it's time to leave. You need…

I think I have a really good boss, but at the end of the day, it's an imbalanced relationship. He holds my salary in his hands, I think some fear is natural.

Re: Don’t be spooky

#28

Post by nuclearnice1 »

Jeff_Brown wrote: post #21
nuclearnice1 wrote: post #11

It’s good advice for many circumstances. Do a little 5 whys analysis and ask why in the absence of information your employees are moved to terror. It might be a normal human reaction and an unavoidable power asymmetry between labor and management. On the other hand, if the median expectation is terror, perhaps that provides some valuable information about the background energy left behind from all your other communic…

This is good advice to some one who is already aware that they terrify their employees -- but many of these scary vague messaged come from people who aren't.

True. Self knowledge is the first step to all these self improvement plans.

Re: Don’t be spooky

#29

Post by dharmab »

Pxtl wrote: post #10
webtopf wrote: post #5

It works the other way around too. As a manager, when some of my employees sent me messages like: "Can we talk when you have some time?" One of my immediate fears was that they are quitting because he found another job. That happened only once, the other 300 times it was just about something they were working on and needed more information.

Right? I called a meeting to let people know a teammate was off because he'd suddenly lost family and was a real mess and needed our support, and I didn't feel comfortable putting that in emails... And the reaction I got was "I was scared I thought you were quitting". They stopped short of saying it was a relief, which is good, given the circumstances.

Context could be provided with something like "Due to unexpected circumstances, Joe is taking leave of absence. We'll have a meeting to discuss this and the impact on the team."

Re: Don’t be spooky

#30

Post by nuclearnice1 »

bluetomcat wrote: post #16
nuclearnice1 wrote: post #11

It’s good advice for many circumstances. Do a little 5 whys analysis and ask why in the absence of information your employees are moved to terror. It might be a normal human reaction and an unavoidable power asymmetry between labor and management. On the other hand, if the median expectation is terror, perhaps that provides some valuable information about the background energy left behind from all your other communic…

Probably because the tasks are badly-defined and management is generally uninterested, which leads to a low motivation, which in turn instills a constant fear of reprimand. In an environment where there is constant positive feedback from your work, you wouldn’t feel as scared from such “spooky” messages.

Exactly. If the environment has all the sharp edges of your first paragraph, then “send more detailed meeting invites” is hardly task one.
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