I am nothing

I find not caring about what people think ends up hurting my personal relationships. I have to try really hard to be aware of my identity and how that fits in with the people around me. Naturally I am aloof. Is that what this article is saying I should be?

Here's the thing, though: as long as others see themselves according to some paradigm, they will likely see you in relation to them and cast you in some social role.

In social interactions, we assume some identity to relate with those around us. Inevitably, those interactions (if we're receptive and respecting of who we interact with) will affect our own thoughts, including (sometimes) our sense of self.

No man's an island, and no man's nothing so long as he lives in a society. Saying "I am nothing" is just as bad as saying "I am X"

Great essay, but like the grandparent I'm confused how it allows for any sort of drive. How can you have goals without identifying with them, or at least their purpose? It seems great and healthy to stop identifying as a failed attempt at reaching certain labels, but I struggle to imagine a singular goal not attached to a label.

Love the post, but nothing? I say adopt 2 or more senses of self, and get really good at using them at the right time.

I think moving beyond an ego-based sense of self is the best way to think rationally and accomplish a goal. In fact, the biggest benefit is probably being able to rationally understand other people's point of view without a sense of self clouding up your interpretation. But, for me at least, it has not been pragmatic to abandon a sense of self at all times.

For instance, it is much easier for me to relate to my grandmother with a stronger sense of self - or at least project a persona that gives that appearance. You can't really like people or things (in the most basis sense) without ego. Nor, can you fully extend emotional empathy in the purist sense when you have no sense of self. With no ego there are many professional environments that will simply drain your energy - even if you have a decent persona for relating emotionally with others.

For me, the better answer has been to look at my self (more specifically my brain) as a library of different selfs. Yes, I am nothing, but I must at least be a controller that responds to my environment with the most relevant sense of self at any point in time. I would suggest there is an evolution of self beyond nothing.

The article resonates with a branch of philosophy called non-duality. Lately I have been reading a lot about non-duality, mainly from books written by J Krishnamurti. It all boils down to living in an ego less state and getting rid of the illusion of choice. It's very easy to understand it intellectually, but problem lies in realizing it in everyday life.