Ask HN: How do you tackle your own negativity?

Writing itself is aggressive, and I'd posit that any sample of good comments is going to skew negative in perceived tone - or use implied negativity as a ground to the positive comments figure.

I'd even say the agreeableness that makes for sustainable modern office relationships is not a quality that makes for insightful writing. It can coexist, but it's a different skill, so I don't interpret good comments as negative. Predictable talking points, that's most of what one needs to know about someone, but original writing whether I agree with it or not is usually worth considering.

One way I like to think about it is: Will my comment make the project/thread better or worst? If it's negative and could make it worst then it feels easier to just keep it for myself, even if I know I'm right (or other good reasons for negativity)

I find that getting enough sleep, eating healthy (including breakfast), limiting caffeine, stretching, avoiding social sites, and just doing "healthy" things makes it easier to respond positively.

A bit of self promotion now. I made an app called Positivelys to help make positive thinking a healthy habit. It's simple, you make a note of positive moments no matter how big of small throughout the day. Then go back and scroll through your own feed of positive moments to give yourself a pick-me-up. I made this for myself and do think it helps. It was also a fun experiment using Rust to make apps.

iOS https://apps.apple.com/us/app/positivelys/id1498984121

Android https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.cultivated...

Could it be that these comments/blog posts are a bit of a release valve, helping you maintain healthier relationships in real-life? If so, I say great!

One thing I'd like to mention is that, perhaps you're a person with strong opinions. There's nothing particularly wrong with that. I also have pretty strong opinions, and I enjoy debating people (always with good humour). What you need to be mindful of is being overly rigid, making you unable to compromise with others. Do you find you have "rules" around interacting with people? It could be something like refusing to eat at certain restaurants for political reasons. This rigidity can have a negative impact on your relationships. It can be hard to self-assess these things, so once again it's worth asking family/friends.

I'd also just mention, a lot of these things - negative thinking, catastrophising, or rigidity - stem in part from anxiety. This is best addressed through some form of therapy.

Firstly, make a habit of seeing the full picture of something you’re evaluating or judging. This might be the ‘other side’ of the story (someone else’s perspective), the benefits of something you’re criticising that you’re otherwise missing, or an understanding of the worth of something you might be defending.

Secondly is to recognise the benefit of positive thoughts (like goodwill towards others) on yourself and the people around you. You may like to add some intentional practices here such as what’s referred to in Buddhism as loving kindness (‘metta’) meditation or performing generous acts. The uplifting in mind state you get here will incline you away from a lot of criticising and judging.

Principally though the goal would be to get to a point where a build up of negativity is not occurring for you and there’s no need to vent, but getting there is practice. It is great that you are reflecting on this and looking for another way so best of luck to you!