Earlier quoted context omitted.
The boundary that the OP needs to enforce is actually with the caregiver more than the children (although even young children are capable of learning and respecting boundaries). The caregiver needs to buy into the fact that it's beneficial for the bread winner of the family to have uninterrupted work periods. When I read your statement it feels like you're saying you think the OP is just throwing proclamations over t…
The op made the rather disingenuous statement that people who could not be productive working from home were clearly just not doing it right, without considering that his anecdotal situation is the exception rather than the norm for many parents in this day and age.
Why noise is necessary for our brains to perform at a high-level
141–150 of 158 posts
Re: Why noise is necessary for our brains to perform at a high-level
#142I've worked in private offices, cubicles, open plan offices, coffeeshops, libraries, and now many many hours in home both when other family members are around and when they aren't. I spend a lot of time thinking about sound and focus. The conclusion I came to is that humans have a few emotional needs in order to reach deep focus: 1. We need to not be distracted and we need to feel certainty that we will not be distra…
Maybe as you are saying the presence of fellow tribe, but in this case I know they won't come to talk because we all have the seat belt, and when the is allowed to take it off, it's the social norm to minimise interactions due to the reduced space, people usually keep the norm to enable the corridor just for the staff and trips to the bathroom.
But additionally:
- Being offline, also makes you feel certain no one will interrupt you electronically.
- No one would expect you to get anything done in airplane, and that can feel like a liberation, meaning you can catch up and the time feels "free".
- Timing is programmed, start and end and the food breaks in between are scheduled and announced.
- And the noise inside the cabin combined with noise cancelling headphones, I don't know why, it helps.
Re: Why noise is necessary for our brains to perform at a high-level
#143Earlier quoted context omitted.
The problem isn’t that by the age of 4 most kids don’t understand boundaries (they totally can and do). It’s that as a parent it’s hard not to just have some part of your brain constantly scanning for any sign of your 4 year old trying to get themselves hurt or break something (as 4 year olds naturally do). In other words, the boundary crossing is done by the adult and is really hard to turn off if you have any inter…
I don't really understand this POV. If you have a trusted partner looking after your child, then the situation should be (at worst) no different than if your child was away at school or daycare right?
Re: Why noise is necessary for our brains to perform at a high-level
#144Re: Why noise is necessary for our brains to perform at a high-level
#145Earlier quoted context omitted.
"What happens if both work during regular office hours (as in my marriage)?" OP specifically mentioned this is not the scenario we are discussing. "If you have very young kids, it's impossible to have a distraction free work environment at home unless you find someone to take care of the kids and enforce the no distractions rule." Again, neither OP or I are arguing against this. "Both parents are caregivers in a marr…
"b- someone in the couple is a stay at home parent (usually the mother) who watches the children. " Also, these comments about "mother" are irksome to me since it feels like you're accusing me (or OP) of implying something I'm not. Not that it really matters but my wife and I (a father) work full time and during the pandemic I was the caregiver during normal business hours while my wife retained a normal working hour…
- This is NOT the norm. This matters because what's more interesting is the general case, not the exceptions.
- It affected your work, in this case of a man instead of a woman, so the point remains: WFH is very hard for working couples with young children.
As for the relevance of the impact on mothers: it is VERY relevant and highlights the inequality that still remains in Western society. People by default assume the mother will take care, it's happened in every situation and every couple I talked with, and it's my own experience as well.
I'm not accusing you of anything, and if you feel personally addressed, that's on you.
Re: Why noise is necessary for our brains to perform at a high-level
#146Earlier quoted context omitted.
"b- someone in the couple is a stay at home parent (usually the mother) who watches the children. " Also, these comments about "mother" are irksome to me since it feels like you're accusing me (or OP) of implying something I'm not. Not that it really matters but my wife and I (a father) work full time and during the pandemic I was the caregiver during normal business hours while my wife retained a normal working hour…
I can't be accountable for what you find irksome. If during the pandemic you, the father, were the primary caregiver, know that: - This is NOT the norm. This matters because what's more interesting is the general case, not the exceptions. - It affected your work, in this case of a man instead of a woman, so the point remains: WFH is very hard for working couples with young children. As for the relevance of the impact…
That may be true, but in this case we were specifically discussing an exception where gender was not relevant.
Re: Why noise is necessary for our brains to perform at a high-level
#147Re: Why noise is necessary for our brains to perform at a high-level
#148I think, we should not call a conversation we hear "noise", it disturbs our focus but it's not noise. Noise has no pattern and no meaning. But the most disturbing sound is the sound that repeats in fixed intervals. I believe repeating sounds in high volume is even used as a form of torture. So airplane noise is torture because it's loud and it repeats.
> So airplane noise is torture because it's loud and it repeats. Airplane noise when a plane flies above you? or airplane noise inside the plane? I find airplane noise within a plane great - it blocks out all the other noise.
Re: Why noise is necessary for our brains to perform at a high-level
#149I'd like to see less research about how we turn ourselves into optimal work machines and more research about how we reach a maximum vividness of conscious experience.
Re: Why noise is necessary for our brains to perform at a high-level
#150I've worked in private offices, cubicles, open plan offices, coffeeshops, libraries, and now many many hours in home both when other family members are around and when they aren't. I spend a lot of time thinking about sound and focus. The conclusion I came to is that humans have a few emotional needs in order to reach deep focus: 1. We need to not be distracted and we need to feel certainty that we will not be distra…
Your theory is interesting but what about the studies that link noise to stress and health issues?[0] Maybe background noises of voices have a different effect? [0] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5898791/
> Recently, we demonstrated that aircraft noise exposure during nighttime can induce endothelial dysfunction in healthy subjects and is even more pronounced in coronary artery disease patients.
Obviously, no one enjoys being woken up at night by passing airplanes.