I can say from experience that bar and restaurant is quite adaptable for a couple given the odd hours of operation, the flexibility of scheduling and job mobility. We did it together for almost a decade. Not sure I would want to depend on it in the current crisis though...
Which jobs most often pair together among married couples
361–370 of 445 posts
Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples
#362Earlier quoted context omitted.
How, I don't really get it?
I think the joke is that Early Childhood Education studies are followed overwhelmingly by women.
I think it's a bit more than that.
There's the gender gap, which you mentioned, as well as the economic aspect, but I wouldn't discount the fact (or at least perception?) that people who choose to work with children are more likely to act in a caring and maternal way towards your typical aspie engineer (as opposed to the more common judgemental and standoffish approach).
At least that's my mum's theory.
Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples
#363Earlier quoted context omitted.
Are there people who don't value a homemaker? You don't value good home-cooked food? A clean house? Clean clothes? Children clothed and fed? Everything else your mother did for you?
If an adult child said they want to stay home, cook for you and clean the house, and maybe look after younger siblings, most people would say they need to grow up and get a job.
Can you really not see the difference here? You do know children generally outlive their parents, right?
But the more general difference is a home maker is not a maid. A home maker owns the home. That's a very big difference. Somehow people have been convinced that it's better to work to build/maintain someone else's property instead of your own.
Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples
#364Ok, I can see the lopsided lawyers marrying lawyers, but how is it that software developers are so lopsidedly marrying other software developers when something like 90% of them are male? I guess pretty much every female software developer marries a male software developer which works out to the 12% number? Makes me sorta want to see a breakdown by sex. aka "male software developer has a 6% chance of marrying a softwa…
I'm a male software engineer and I'm marrying a male software engineer, that may account for some the data too.
A bit off-topic, but I'm wondering if the homosexual dating pool among software developers is bigger than the heterosexual dating pool.
edit just to clarify, for men. Dating pool for homosexual/heterosexual men.
Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples
#365Earlier quoted context omitted.
Men generally do not care about the income of their wife, as that's not what they're innately attracted to. Hypergamy is characteristic of women and hence they want to marry up, and won't settle for someone who makes less than them. The latter is a reason for why there are so many educated but unmarried women today in their 30s and 40s.
What are you basing this on? Seems like a large claim to make about what people are innately attracted to.
I’ve only ever seen the word “hypergamy” used by red pill maniacs. If that’s the case, his scientific basis is bitterness and pseudoscience.
Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples
#366Earlier quoted context omitted.
Oh, THAT part has little to do with profession; my spouse's and my jobs were completely different (or so we thought!), but if your relationship works and you are "each other's 'person'", ranting about work is part of the SLA :-> FWIW, my experience: - Key is to look at sum balance. Yes, absolutely, somebody else unwinding will increase your stress level; but IF unwinding reduces their stress level more than it increa…
>Key is to look at sum balance. Yes, absolutely, somebody else unwinding will increase your stress level; but IF unwinding reduces their stress level more than it increases yours (and vice verse when the tables are turned), it's a net win Disagree here. If the other person is always or even is just mostly doing the unloading that's not fair and you just end up sacrificing yourself to the utility monster following thi…
It's tricky and hard to find absolutes.
It's unlikely a couple will be able to fully equalize this aspect depending on granularity of time slice: on any given day/week/month, one of you may be in better or trickier or happier or more stressful place at work, with friends, in general.
I agree that if through the entirety of relationship support is strictly one-way, that is explicitly not the way I want my relationship to work (though there are others who do seek a one-way relationship from both perspectives).
Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples
#367Earlier quoted context omitted.
It's a shame to marry because of financial incentives.
Why? Marriage has always been a financial/political thing. Love marriage is a recent invention
I never married anyone and certainly I would never do it for financial/political reasons. It also never crossed my mind that marrying for love makes me a modern thinker :)
Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples
#368Earlier quoted context omitted.
I'm a male software engineer and I'm marrying a male software engineer, that may account for some the data too.
A bit off-topic, but I'm wondering if the homosexual dating pool among software developers is bigger than the heterosexual dating pool. edit just to clarify, for men. Dating pool for homosexual/heterosexual men.
Not everybody develops in Javascript on a Mac.
Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples
#369Ok, I can see the lopsided lawyers marrying lawyers, but how is it that software developers are so lopsidedly marrying other software developers when something like 90% of them are male? I guess pretty much every female software developer marries a male software developer which works out to the 12% number? Makes me sorta want to see a breakdown by sex. aka "male software developer has a 6% chance of marrying a softwa…
I can only speak from experience, but I've been on dates with women who openly admit that they've had bad experiences with IT people.
I can only speak from experience, but I'm very likely to have been that IT guy that your dates have had bad experiences with.
Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples
#370Earlier quoted context omitted.
Men don't see it coming because they don't care. Quite frequently men are in bad relationships that don't affect them much but they generally don't walk away. Women pull the trigger when they can't take it anymore.
This could be the reasoning of someone with survival bias though. Unfortunately, life can be complicated, e.g. family member went through undiagnosed schizophrenia for many years, one can imagine how that upset the marriage assumptions prior to the mental health issues.
I was talking more about the average situation.
I would assume serious mental health issues are the edge case in this scenario.