Which jobs most often pair together among married couples • Hacker News Board

Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples

#281

Post by danilor » Wed, Oct 27, 2021, 5:50 AM UTC

thaumasiotes wrote: post #272

StillBored wrote: post #179

Ok, I can see the lopsided lawyers marrying lawyers, but how is it that software developers are so lopsidedly marrying other software developers when something like 90% of them are male? I guess pretty much every female software developer marries a male software developer which works out to the 12% number? Makes me sorta want to see a breakdown by sex. aka "male software developer has a 6% chance of marrying a softwa…

> Makes me sorta want to see a breakdown by sex. aka "male software developer has a 6% chance of marrying a software developer But this data is specifically "among married couples". The male software developer's chances of marrying a software developer are much, much higher if we just assume he's married in the first place.

I don't get it. Wouldn't anyone's chances of marrying any group be higher if we assume they are married at all? Because "being married" is a super set of "being married to a person from X group"?

Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples

#282

Post by speedgoose » Wed, Oct 27, 2021, 5:52 AM UTC

In America.

Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples

#283

Post by kmonsen » Wed, Oct 27, 2021, 5:54 AM UTC

ozarker wrote: post #209

comeonseriously wrote: post #204

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My SO and I are both software engineers, so blame me for taking one of the lady devs off the market.

My wife and I are too. Though we had our first child last week. She said earlier in the pregnancy that she would like to keep in the workforce. But as each day passes with the baby it feels more likely she'll decide to be a full-time mom. Either decision is fine in my book :)

Congrats on your child!

I can see both sides, but one thing to think about is that coming back to software engineering after 5-10 years away would be brutal. It’s also a place it’s famously easy to coast and take it easy for a while.

But if I went through a pregnancy I would need a big rest and enjoy the rewards afterwards :-)

Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples

#284

Post by kmonsen » Wed, Oct 27, 2021, 5:56 AM UTC

gilgoomesh wrote: post #257

StillBored wrote: post #179

Ok, I can see the lopsided lawyers marrying lawyers, but how is it that software developers are so lopsidedly marrying other software developers when something like 90% of them are male? I guess pretty much every female software developer marries a male software developer which works out to the 12% number? Makes me sorta want to see a breakdown by sex. aka "male software developer has a 6% chance of marrying a softwa…

If 10% of developers are female, there's a potential for 20% of all developers to be in male-female marriages. The data shown here had just 12% which could represent 60% of female software developers marrying male software developers (staggeringly high but not mathematically impossible). I think there's two problems with that premise: (1) a large slice of that marriage number could be male-male or other marriages. (2…

Also not everyone is married at all.

Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples

#285

Post by onion2k » Wed, Oct 27, 2021, 5:57 AM UTC

Careers that limit your ability to socialize outside of work, due to location (eg military) or hours (eg lawyers, teachers), lead to people marrying within their industry. This shouldn't be a big surprise.

Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples

#286

Post by kmonsen » Wed, Oct 27, 2021, 5:58 AM UTC

taneq wrote: post #237

StillBored wrote: post #179

Ok, I can see the lopsided lawyers marrying lawyers, but how is it that software developers are so lopsidedly marrying other software developers when something like 90% of them are male? I guess pretty much every female software developer marries a male software developer which works out to the 12% number? Makes me sorta want to see a breakdown by sex. aka "male software developer has a 6% chance of marrying a softwa…

I’d imagine around 50% of married software engineers are women, so I guess the takeaway here is that male devs are doomed unless they can find a nice dev to marry?

The UX department is your friend.

Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples

#287

Post by thaumasiotes » Wed, Oct 27, 2021, 6:01 AM UTC

danilor wrote: post #281

thaumasiotes wrote: post #272

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Makes me sorta want to see a breakdown by sex. aka "male software developer has a 6% chance of marrying a software developer But this data is specifically "among married couples". The male software developer's chances of marrying a software developer are much, much higher if we just assume he's married in the first place.

I don't get it. Wouldn't anyone's chances of marrying any group be higher if we assume they are married at all? Because "being married" is a super set of "being married to a person from X group"?

Because "being married" is a smaller superset of "being married to a software developer" than "being alive" is.

It's the same reason there's a higher rate of being married to software developers among people who are married to software developers than there is among the general population.

Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples

#288

Post by Izikiel43 » Wed, Oct 27, 2021, 6:08 AM UTC

MonaroVXR wrote: post #215

Izikiel43 wrote: post #155

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is us only though. In my country, most programmers end up with psychologists, but because there are so many women psychologists and not a lot of female programmers.

Which country?

Argentina

Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples

#289

Post by nullc » Wed, Oct 27, 2021, 6:21 AM UTC

monocasa wrote: post #76

foxbarrington wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What is expensive about marriage? I’m trying to think of reasons. Taxes? It can be advantageous to stay single, but I wouldn’t say this is that big. Kids? Another mouth to feed and educate is wildly expensive, but I doubt this is what we’re talking about. Rent/buying a home? Cheaper to share a space I’d think. I think I’m missing something.

At least on the income tax side too, you're allowed to file seperately even if you're married.

With extremely disadvantageous tax treatment there are very very few situations where married filing separately won't cost you a lot of money.

Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples

#290

Post by Uberphallus » Wed, Oct 27, 2021, 6:23 AM UTC

robocat wrote: post #127

maerF0x0 wrote: post #107

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Funny enough, my anecdata has been the inverse. Thats is being a software engineer has been sufficient evidence for people to walk away without even getting to know me. Which is definitely interesting because I've had people say "I cant believe you're an engineer, you're nothing like the other engineers I know" outside my work context.

Wow - that is still happening? The initial interest followed by that sudden glazed disinterest as soon as they find out your job. Or is it location based where they have formed a stereotype from previous encounters? I had thought a well paying job would be a good start to a relationship (enough money does prevent a lot of problems). Personally I don’t like judgmental people (I’m meta-judgemental) so it usually has be…

Not dating since a few years, but living near a tech hub, the 20-30 year old population was 1.4:1 men to women. You could imagine it was tough, but most single men in that age bracket were stereotypical socially unaware software engineers. Just don't talk anything nerdy and you're golden.

"I can't believe you work at BigTech!"

I don't think that's changed. +30yo is a different subject, though, most stereotypes are ironed out by then.