Ask HN: I'm making like 0 friends at college, how to fix it?

> Advice on how to connect better with people?

Log off, touch some grass. Put yourself out there. Once you get a few people around you, it's relatively easy to leaver yourself into other friends groups.

> But I've heard everybody talking about Halloween costumes in the past few days and realized I don't need one cause I'll be sitting inside alone on Halloween. I'd like to start fixing this but don't know how.

Just say yes to the next offer you get, you'll only make friends if you expose yourself to other humans. HN is unlikely to be the place where you make real friends.

Specifically about the parties: You can invite yourself easily enough to things - just get them talking about it (i.e. "oh I hear you're having a Halloween party, anything cool planned?") - if you sound interested and talk for a while most people will invite you.

The only way to get good at social interactions is to keep putting yourself in social settings.

Friends are made through shared experiences. The more intense the experience, the more durable the friendship. Figure out what you love doing and then find others to do it with. You may have to take social risks a few times to make the initial connection, but keep at it. It’s worth it. You may also need to be the catalyst for others who are in the same situation as you, if there’s no social group, club or platform for you to connect.

insert yourself into conversations and suggest some low touch followup like coffee. go to all the events and know the schedule of events to share with others. essentially find you in someone else. my favorite thing in college was starting a club, its a great opening line.

Assuming you keep a calendar and manage your time, see what time you have available and see what events are going on on your campus. I guarantee there are a ton.

Do you like coffee or tea? There's an okay chance there's a club for that (met many friends and a girlfriend through coffee club).

How about your school's radio station? Wide variety of people and new music (made long lasting friends at mine).

Maybe club sports? They're taken fairly casually (milage my vary) and you're going to be interacting with people the whole time.

I'm sure there are at least a few clubs that you'd be interested in. The thing that makes clubs easy to approach is that they're fairly structured and they're all about getting new members. You can go every week and you know these people share an interest and are open to new people, which is a great starting place.

Good luck with everything. Time management and planning your goals will get you very far in college. Plan to meet people and work it into your schedule in different ways, whether it's a club, chatting with dorm neighbors, or having a study group. I'm sure you'll do fine.

The 101 of friendships and relationships in life is a certain ability to (a) Take some risks (b) Take the initiative

Instead of waiting to be invited to something try to invite others. There might be occasions you will be left embarrassed or feel rejected but if you don't try, how will you succeed?

Think of it like childhood: If you're not willing to fall how will you learn to walk? If you're not willing to speak garbled sentences how will you learn to talk?

There are a lot of good tips on this page already. But I will reiterate, make an effort. Put yourself out there a bit.

Also take care of the fundamentals: follow basics rules of decency and etiquette, take care of your hygiene, try to observe how others behave and take the cue accordingly.