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'Speed friending' events

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Re: 'Speed friending' events

#81

Post by DeathArrow »

iammisc wrote: post #19
unboxedvariable wrote: post #3

What is it about us and society that has moved us in a continually more isolating direction instead of getting better at forming connections. Aren't we more connected now by many orders of magnitude than all previous generations? Are we not able to handle these quick/cheap interactions and do they cause harm instead of satisfaction? Have we replaced meaningful, non-work human interaction with apps that seem to do the…

People want immediate gratification, and friendship is like dating. Often, I'm the first to take initiative inviting people out... This is fine. I don't care about that. But sometimes, i'll invite someone out I don't click with 100% And this is... okay. Even if I spent money and time on that attempt, I always have a decent enough time, and finding friends requires work. People today don't want to do the work. They ba…

That sounds like an artificial and planned way to make friends.

True friendships just happen.

Re: 'Speed friending' events

#82

Post by girvo »

anotherevan wrote: post #56
sndean wrote: post #20

Over the past few years on HN I've periodically seen a nice exchange between people saying "if anyone is in Austin and wants to get a beer, let me know." There's normally a response or two. I wonder how many of these people actually meet up? And is HN good (or not) for this purpose? Seems like readers/commenters here could easily have a lot in common, so why couldn't HN be used as a platform for 'speed friending.' Bu…

I wouldn't have thought HN would be particularly good for this purpose. That said though, we just came out of a 77 day lock-down today, so if there's anybody in south-east Melbourne...

Brisbane, sadly (for this purpose), but if you're ever up here...

Re: 'Speed friending' events

#83

Post by codetrotter »

dang wrote: post #65
ValentineC wrote: post #63

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sounds good, or we could also try having an automatic thread on the 1st/14th(?) of the month, like the hiring ones.

Yes, that would be a more organic way to start.

Please do, and name the threads “Meet HN: December 2021” etc

Re: 'Speed friending' events

#84

Post by Hammershaft »

dang wrote: post #60
sndean wrote: post #20

Over the past few years on HN I've periodically seen a nice exchange between people saying "if anyone is in Austin and wants to get a beer, let me know." There's normally a response or two. I wonder how many of these people actually meet up? And is HN good (or not) for this purpose? Seems like readers/commenters here could easily have a lot in common, so why couldn't HN be used as a platform for 'speed friending.' Bu…

I've often thought about having a 'meet' tab in the top bar, alongside 'ask' and 'show' and 'jobs', where people could post meetups. HN has connected a lot of people over the years, both with each other and with significant opportunities. It would be nice to foster more real-world connections. Edit: not a new idea - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1310849

I would really enjoy this

Re: 'Speed friending' events

#85

Post by im3w1l »

unboxedvariable wrote: post #3

What is it about us and society that has moved us in a continually more isolating direction instead of getting better at forming connections. Aren't we more connected now by many orders of magnitude than all previous generations? Are we not able to handle these quick/cheap interactions and do they cause harm instead of satisfaction? Have we replaced meaningful, non-work human interaction with apps that seem to do the…

Community has gone from opt out to opt in.

Re: 'Speed friending' events

#86

Post by js8 »

selestify wrote: post #53
iammisc wrote: post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

People want immediate gratification, and friendship is like dating. Often, I'm the first to take initiative inviting people out... This is fine. I don't care about that. But sometimes, i'll invite someone out I don't click with 100% And this is... okay. Even if I spent money and time on that attempt, I always have a decent enough time, and finding friends requires work. People today don't want to do the work. They ba…

> But ultimately, friendship, like marriage and dating, is work... it's a choice to put in the effort to be someone's friend. But see, that’s just not the case historically speaking. Why has it become so much more effort in recent times?

I don't think it was more effort in the past, it's just we (especially for the middle class up) made everything else much more effortless (in the service economy), so this eventually bubbled up to the list of "hard" things.

Re: 'Speed friending' events

#88

Post by brailsafe »

Sevii wrote: post #66
sndean wrote: post #20

Over the past few years on HN I've periodically seen a nice exchange between people saying "if anyone is in Austin and wants to get a beer, let me know." There's normally a response or two. I wonder how many of these people actually meet up? And is HN good (or not) for this purpose? Seems like readers/commenters here could easily have a lot in common, so why couldn't HN be used as a platform for 'speed friending.' Bu…

The problem with using HN for this is that it doesn't provide any vetting. You don't know if you share enough beliefs to even begin to become friends. You don't necessarily have a shared experience to relate over.

The only thing necessary to friendship is maybe one thing in common, and chemistry. None of my friends were met through any kind of vetting process, and I'd never want to do that.

Re: 'Speed friending' events

#89

Post by taurath »

It does seem in our world where there is such relative fear of the other that a bit of structure would help a lot. Not sure if this is it, but I think it’s thinking along the same lines.

I think about this a lot in that how many relationships we have are based around the circumstances of mutual location - the internet being one, sometimes - but people really have trouble addressing needs of community and there aren’t many structures in place to really assist that.

Re: 'Speed friending' events

#90

Post by tdeck »

Sevii wrote: post #66
sndean wrote: post #20

Over the past few years on HN I've periodically seen a nice exchange between people saying "if anyone is in Austin and wants to get a beer, let me know." There's normally a response or two. I wonder how many of these people actually meet up? And is HN good (or not) for this purpose? Seems like readers/commenters here could easily have a lot in common, so why couldn't HN be used as a platform for 'speed friending.' Bu…

The problem with using HN for this is that it doesn't provide any vetting. You don't know if you share enough beliefs to even begin to become friends. You don't necessarily have a shared experience to relate over.

You'd think this would be important, but when I think back on my friends I met most of them randomly while happening to do something together (work, school, some other obligation) that didn't necessarily say much about our shared beliefs. I think sometimes people just need a reason to get to know each other better.
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