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Willingness to look stupid

danluu.com

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Re: Willingness to look stupid

#291

Post by jcheng »

jbjohns wrote: post #136
sillysaurusx wrote: post #2

> Going into an Apple store and asking for (and buying) the computer that comes in the smallest box, which I had a good reason to want at the time > The person who helped me, despite being very polite, also clearly thought I was a bozo and kept explaining things like "the size of the box and the size of the computer aren't the same". Of course I knew that, but I didn't want to say something like "I design CPUs. I und…

It's amusing how many people are literally offended that they didn't explain why. But the answer we have is: because they wanted the smaller box. They are paying for it, no further explanation is required to the employee or anyone else. The employee should get the smallest box as requested and then they can try something like "may I know why you want the smallest box? I might be able to provide better help".

It sounds like they politely tried to clarify. Dan was amused that they thought he might be stupid. But asking for a laptop based on such bizarre criteria without attempting to set any context for the human person who deals with not CPU designers 99.9999% of the time, and then smugly calling out said human person for not immediately giving him the benefit of the doubt, then blogging about the exchange in a self-glorifying post… I mean, I’m not personally offended, but I can see why people would be bothered.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#292

Post by amluto »

sillysaurusx wrote: post #2

> Going into an Apple store and asking for (and buying) the computer that comes in the smallest box, which I had a good reason to want at the time > The person who helped me, despite being very polite, also clearly thought I was a bozo and kept explaining things like "the size of the box and the size of the computer aren't the same". Of course I knew that, but I didn't want to say something like "I design CPUs. I und…

Here’s a hypothesis: Dan needed to transport the laptop before opening it. It could have been a gift and the goal was for it to fit, wrapped, in a small suitcase. Or for some reason he needed a shrink-wrapped unopened laptop somewhere (as evidence that it hadn’t been tampered with) and the quality of the laptop made no difference whatsoever.

Even if this is wrong, I bet telling the salesperson that it was a gift and he wanted the smallest package would have avoided funny looks.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#293

Post by VortexDream »

dusted wrote: post #50

When I was younger, I often met people who seemed kind of dim to me, at first, and later found the majority of them to be orders of magnitude brighter than me. It was not hard to connect the dots, the reason they were so much brighter was (in part) exactly because of what made them initially seem dim.. They asked questions, honestly. Not the showoff kind of question you ask to show how much you know, but real, honest…

This article speaks to my soul. All my life I've been told how intelligent I am. It's been such a massive driver for my own insecurities and fear around anything I do, since my identity is tied up so much in being right and not being wrong, in continuing to present this image of infallible intelligence. It's likely also fed into my issues with depression I've had all my life. I can consistently get people to see how intelligent I might be, but it's always such a struggle. It's like walking a tightrope. I hate it.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#294

Post by manmal »

dusted wrote: post #50

When I was younger, I often met people who seemed kind of dim to me, at first, and later found the majority of them to be orders of magnitude brighter than me. It was not hard to connect the dots, the reason they were so much brighter was (in part) exactly because of what made them initially seem dim.. They asked questions, honestly. Not the showoff kind of question you ask to show how much you know, but real, honest…

> you don't want to be hired by people who can't see this

The issue with this is that you might not even work with this one person declining you.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#295

Post by joeberon »

dangerface wrote: post #110
NiceWayToDoIT wrote: post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think it is measure of time, for author it looks simple to put everything in few words instead of having long explanation, I find this typical in IT, where my coworkers all the time trying to compress explanation in fewest words possible. Maybe laziness or type of optimization, but usually back fires as other people ask you multiple questions, arising from their own point of view.

[flagged]

> Non technical people only have the patience to learn / listen to very basic concepts.

What a stupidly arrogant comment. Have you not heard of philosophy, for example?

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#296

Post by A4ET8a8uTh0 »

bena wrote: post #226
dusted wrote: post #50

When I was younger, I often met people who seemed kind of dim to me, at first, and later found the majority of them to be orders of magnitude brighter than me. It was not hard to connect the dots, the reason they were so much brighter was (in part) exactly because of what made them initially seem dim.. They asked questions, honestly. Not the showoff kind of question you ask to show how much you know, but real, honest…

You've mistaken "wanting to be right" with wanting to "be correct". I've never inferred stupidity or lack of intelligence with asking questions. The only thing I've inferred was lack of knowledge. And the best way to get knowledge is to ask. People who ask want to know. They want the information to get to correct. People who don't ask questions eventually make assumptions that are wrong. Because they're so wrapped up…

There are questions and there are questions. Some questions in meetings are 'smart questions' intended to show you off and boost your stock a little, or move conversation to an area beneficial to you. Some questions are just ridiculous time wasters asked to show that you are there. There is a slim minority that asks questions to actually learn something and from experience I learned that those questions are best asked after the meeting directly to the person.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#297

Post by stavros »

VortexDream wrote: post #293
dusted wrote: post #50

When I was younger, I often met people who seemed kind of dim to me, at first, and later found the majority of them to be orders of magnitude brighter than me. It was not hard to connect the dots, the reason they were so much brighter was (in part) exactly because of what made them initially seem dim.. They asked questions, honestly. Not the showoff kind of question you ask to show how much you know, but real, honest…

This article speaks to my soul. All my life I've been told how intelligent I am. It's been such a massive driver for my own insecurities and fear around anything I do, since my identity is tied up so much in being right and not being wrong, in continuing to present this image of infallible intelligence. It's likely also fed into my issues with depression I've had all my life. I can consistently get people to see how…

It definitely gets much easier when you stop worrying about other people think of you.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#299

Post by sandwall »

Grustaf wrote: post #285
323 wrote: post #249

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In his and Wolfram case it's justified.

Why?

Agree with questioning this. They are both brilliant, but that doesn't justify arrogance. IMHO, it detracts from his brilliance and clouds the clarity of his thoughts.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#300

Post by joeberon »

blfr wrote: post #165
joeberon wrote: post #153

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Are these seriously the quality of comments we are happy with on Hackernews these days?

It's a social reality most nerds ignore at their own peril. The way you're treated is very loosely correlated with being smart, having unusual tastes, or asking questions but tightly with how you present yourself.

"at their own peril"? It's really not a big deal lol
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