Is it just humbleness ?
Willingness to look stupid
141–150 of 811 posts
Re: Willingness to look stupid
#142This really resonated with me. When I was learning to program I had a mentor (who was just a few years older than me at 17) who was an amazing learner but was an incredible teacher. I didn't have any money for programming books and libraries at the time didn't carry many.
His ability to explain the complexities of Pascal, Basic and eventually C++ totally changed my life. I never became an amazing programmer, but I was a hacker at a time when that was valuable and it completely changed the trajectory of my life.
He set the bar for simplification of a subject and edification of an individual. It's something I look for and at some understanding someone's ability to explain something became the primary way for me to assess their intelligence.
The best way to do that? Ask really stupid questions.
That has really really worked against my in some contexts. I spent a lot of time working for a large US company and while many of the smartest and most capable executives LOVED those conversations where would explore the outer bounds of their new ideas, many of the mid level mangers truly thought I was a f$#ing idiot. They could not get past their impression of my after one simple, stupid, question.
I still don't know how many people I have left in my wake who truly think I am dim. I don't really care, but it took me a lot of years to realize how it was perceived.
Re: Willingness to look stupid
#143If I want to ask something online I intentionally make the question sound stupid and uninformed since that provokes better and more clear replies.
Good old Curningham's law
Re: Willingness to look stupid
#144Slightly related video [0], specifically to I was shocked that somebody would deliberately do the wrong thing in order to reduce the odds of potentially looking stupid
Re: Willingness to look stupid
#145> Going into an Apple store and asking for (and buying) the computer that comes in the smallest box, which I had a good reason to want at the time
This is such an odd example. Because OP makes an uncommon request, the sales person can't parse what this request is about, and neither can I for that matter, and OP doesn't give a reason.
So the sales person thinks: What an odd request, which in turn is parsed by the OP as sales person thinks I'm stupid for asking something that the sales person doesn't understand. In the end, OP might want to feel superior by asking stupid-looking questions on purpose and feeling above the sales person for not being able to get to why this question is asked.
Maybe just explain WHY you ask this or that and nobody thinks you're stupid anymore.
Re: Willingness to look stupid
#146I get the appeal of minimalism in the format, but at the very least some margins or a max line length would be welcome. Having to read this with lines extending all across the screen is ridiculous.
What's the screen for, then?
Re: Willingness to look stupid
#147When I was younger, I often met people who seemed kind of dim to me, at first, and later found the majority of them to be orders of magnitude brighter than me. It was not hard to connect the dots, the reason they were so much brighter was (in part) exactly because of what made them initially seem dim.. They asked questions, honestly. Not the showoff kind of question you ask to show how much you know, but real, honest…
This reminds me of the simple brilliance of Socrates. He began from the premise that he knew nothing, and would ask all manner of simple questions building on top of the previous answers. It wasn't long before he uncovered how little everyone else actually knew, but what separated Socrates was his honesty: he knew nothing and admitted it. Naturally, the established powers and polite society didn't find this to their…
> Naturally, the established powers and polite society didn't find this to their liking. We all know how his story ended.
Today we call this method of exposing contradictions in one's mindset the Socratic Method.
Re: Willingness to look stupid
#148You surely need a fair measure of confidence and security to absorb the downside risk.
It’s a lot easier when you are established in a career/network/relationship and have erected a safe space around yourself. You can unmuzzle your inner confusion without threat to your status or ego, as you know you’re not really stupid.
Not so easy as an outsider, or as a junior where you secretly worry that you might be stupid.
Re: Willingness to look stupid
#149Earlier quoted context omitted.
Which example?
I think OP is referring to this: > For example, if a date thinks I'm stupid because I ask them what a word means, so much so that they show it in their facial expression and/or tone of voice, I think it's pretty unlikely that we're compatible, so I view finding that out sooner rather than later as upside and not downside.
this is anti-dating advice.
Re: Willingness to look stupid
#150I think he's almost flaunting it - but there's real value in the concept. One thing I have realized is that "was I stupid to do this" feeling has something to it. Like being laughed at by my colleagues because I was carrying a "Programming Python" book in ~2008, when Java was the rage. Like buying that odd exercise equipment on eBay, which felt really stupid, and then it's been my desk-side companion over the last 18 pandemic months. Stupid is sticking your neck out, stepping out of the herd and being alone. Like me leaving an established metro and buying a house online in a smaller town (never having seen in person) - and it turning into an amazing home, a cheaper, popular destination in the covid-migration, getting amazing neighbors - leaving some friends behind, and maybe paying covid-prices (those still feel a bit stupid).
Being in that 'good stupid' state makes you initially acutely uncomfortable (once the decision sinks in), but later on it proves to be not so stupid, in fact the best thing you could have done. 'Ignorance is bliss' may be related. Lots of 'stupid' simple minded people have come out well in life.
But often times stupid is real stupid and lands you in trouble - we all know that side of the equation - now maybe even that has a reward to it - in terms of the lesson learnt.