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Willingness to look stupid

danluu.com

41–50 of 811 posts

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#41

I guess the "stupid question" I'd ask of this article is: why don't you reveal your goals or thought process when challenged after asking a question that might be perceived as stupid? Take the Apple Store example: why not explain the reason why you were asking for a product by the size of its box when they responded by saying that size of the box does not map to size of the product? Being open about your goal would'v…

Yeah, the "smallest box" story comes to me very wrong. It basically shows him as really stupid -- as he is simply failing the "describe the goal, not the step" rule in most "how to ask questions" guides -- e.g., http://www.catb.org/~esr/faqs/smart-questions.html#goal .

Not only that, but he is also implying that people "who design processors" must also know our way around shopping for computers. This couldn't be farther from the truth.

So this story does not come off as an example of "I don't mind being seen as stupid", it comes off as a very strong example of "I'm holier than you"-attitude which is the entire opposite than the article author's is trying to make.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#42

> Going into an Apple store and asking for (and buying) the computer that comes in the smallest box, which I had a good reason to want at the time > The person who helped me, despite being very polite, also clearly thought I was a bozo and kept explaining things like "the size of the box and the size of the computer aren't the same". Of course I knew that, but I didn't want to say something like "I design CPUs. I und…

I have to say this part (and quite a few other parts of the post) come across as quite arrogant. I mean if he really wants the computer with the smallest box, why can't he explain why.

I agree with the general gist of the post: don't be afraid to ask stupid questions. However, the post has an underlying "feeling" of "my questions are not really stupid, I'm just so smart that others don't realise". I know that I ask plenty of stupid questions when I ask questions, I often realise how stupid they were just after the answer.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#43

> Going into an Apple store and asking for (and buying) the computer that comes in the smallest box, which I had a good reason to want at the time > The person who helped me, despite being very polite, also clearly thought I was a bozo and kept explaining things like "the size of the box and the size of the computer aren't the same". Of course I knew that, but I didn't want to say something like "I design CPUs. I und…

The funny thing is that "I design CPUs" has nothing to do with being able to pick the best possible laptop for one's needs.

It's like saying "I know exactly which car I would like to drive every day because I designed the engine of a Ferrari".

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#44
There's a beautiful illustration from Neal Stephenson's Cryptonomicon on this topic:

===

They gave him an intelligence test. The first question on the math part had to do with boats on a river: Port Smith is 100 miles upstream of Port Jones. The river flows at 5 miles per hour. The boat goes through water at 10 miles per hour. How long does it take to go from Port Smith to Port Jones? How long to come back?

Lawrence immediately saw that it was a trick question. You would have to be some kind of idiot to make the facile assumption that the current would add or subtract 5 miles per hour to or from the speed of the boat. Clearly, 5 miles per hour was nothing more than the average speed. The current would be faster in the middle of the river and slower at the banks. More complicated variations could be expected at bends in the river. Basically it was a question of hydrodynamics, which could be tackled using certain well-known systems of differential equations. Lawrence dove into the problem, rapidly (or so he thought) covering both sides of ten sheets of paper with calculations. Along the way, he realized that one of his assumptions, in combination with the simplified Navier Stokes equations, had led him into an exploration of a particularly interesting family of partial differential equations. Before he knew it, he had proved a new theorem. If that didn’t prove his intelligence, what would?

Then the time bell rang and the papers were collected. Lawrence managed to hang onto his scratch paper. He took it back to his dorm, typed it up, and mailed it to one of the more approachable math professors at Princeton, who promptly arranged for it to be published in a Parisian mathematics journal.

Lawrence received two free, freshly printed copies of the journal a few months later, in San Diego, California, during mail call on board a large ship called the U.S.S. Nevada. The ship had a band, and the Navy had given Lawrence the job of playing the glockenspiel in it, because their testing procedures had proven that he was not intelligent enough to do anything else.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#45
This post seems like some sort of humble-brag about not really being stupid, but being "willing to look stupid" to people who are actually stupid.

To be honest, this entire post make him look stupid, but we all know now that he doesn't care what we think. I'm probably stupid for falling for another one of his clever schemes where he's just pretending to be stupid.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#46
post #22

There's a bit of a disconnect between the the purported theme of this article, being okay looking stupid, and the actual contents, which is just a catalogue of times other people were stupid, posted on the internet so everyone knows the author is clever. Being willing to look stupid involves actually being able to deal with mistakes and failure, with actually _feeling_ stupid sometimes. Just listing a bunch of great…

Thanks you said this much better than I did a bit further up. The whole post smacks a bit of arrogance to me, even though the advice is good.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#47
The fact that the author withheld information from the Apple clerk suggests to me that the author thought the Apple clerk would not understand the “real” reason why he wanted the smallest box.

I believe the author thought the clerk was too stupid to understand the real reason and it would be a waste of time to explain to the clerk why.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#48

I find such willingness very helpful in many meetings with difficult vocabulary. Instead of nodding to sentences which make no sense to me I like to take the risk and admit that I have no clue what is going on. More often than not I'm not the only person who got lost so it ends up beneficial to the meeting as a whole.

Yeah. Its weird but I find doing this makes people respect you more.

If you ask dumb questions, the person speaking (if they’re any good) will start looking to you to figure out if they’re pitching their language correctly. The other people in the room who didn’t understand will be relieved and quietly thankful of you because they didn’t have to be the ones to ask. And people who understood already are usually way more chill about this sort of thing than you would expect. Especially if you give them the opportunity to explain something in front of everyone. And then thank them for doing so.

I don’t think I fully understand why, but asking dumb questions is often a subtle act of leadership.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#49

I guess the "stupid question" I'd ask of this article is: why don't you reveal your goals or thought process when challenged after asking a question that might be perceived as stupid? Take the Apple Store example: why not explain the reason why you were asking for a product by the size of its box when they responded by saying that size of the box does not map to size of the product? Being open about your goal would'v…

Yeah, the "smallest box" story comes to me very wrong. It basically shows him as really stupid -- as he is simply failing the "describe the goal, not the step" rule in most "how to ask questions" guides -- e.g., http://www.catb.org/~esr/faqs/smart-questions.html#goal . Not only that, but he is also implying that people "who design processors" must also know our way around shopping for computers. This couldn't be fart…

>So this story does not come off as an example of "I don't mind being seen as stupid", it comes off as a very strong example of "I'm holier than you"-attitude which is the entire opposite than the article author's is trying to make.

Exactly my thoughts.

Even the way the story is told to the reader with: "which I had a good reason to want at the time", has the same sentiment towards us.

"My reasoning is even above explaining to you, my reader."

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#50
When I was younger, I often met people who seemed kind of dim to me, at first, and later found the majority of them to be orders of magnitude brighter than me. It was not hard to connect the dots, the reason they were so much brighter was (in part) exactly because of what made them initially seem dim.. They asked questions, honestly. Not the showoff kind of question you ask to show how much you know, but real, honest questions that not only showed how little they knew, but importantly, allowed them to actually learn and understand, rather than just nod and not get it.

My intuition has changed from this, I find it that most times, when someone shows genuine interest and asks honest, revealing questions about some new topic, they often excel at many other things (and will likely on the new topic as well).

I'm adapting this myself, being honest, asking honestly, and sometimes looking really stupid (because, in that context, I am!), and I appreciate greatly both the wealth of information that allows me to access, and that almost anybody worth their salt recognizes this trait as well.

Failing an interview due to looking stupid is probably a blessing in disguise, you don't want to be hired by people who can't see this, and you don't want to work next to people who's just pretending to understand, not learning because they can't afford to look stupid when they are (and thus stay stupid, and be much more inclined to try to pass blame to someone else, like you, who look stupid).

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