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Willingness to look stupid

danluu.com

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Re: Willingness to look stupid

#31

Post by jaygray0919 »

My variation on this is based on years of management. My quip: + I only hire people who are smarter than I am. + I am the dumbest bloke in the business. Everyone is smarter than I am.

Like "Willingness ..." it's a tool to remove your ego from and look-for/work-with 'talent' thru a (slightly more) objective lens.

As an individual contributor, it opens you to alternative ideas (learning from others). As a manager, it allows your team to build confidence and be open with you about problems and potentially radical alternatives.

A variation on this idea: + the only things I know I learned from other folks.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#32

Post by rmetzler »

sillysaurusx wrote: post #2

> Going into an Apple store and asking for (and buying) the computer that comes in the smallest box, which I had a good reason to want at the time > The person who helped me, despite being very polite, also clearly thought I was a bozo and kept explaining things like "the size of the box and the size of the computer aren't the same". Of course I knew that, but I didn't want to say something like "I design CPUs. I und…

I think that this is unfair to the poor Apple Store employee. There is no reason to not state the motivation, why you ask for the smallest box.

Other than that, I also try to employ the naive question and to some people these might sound stupid. But they are really useful because they can clear up lots of implicit implications and misunderstandings.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#33

Post by nathias »

supermatt wrote: post #7

Asking "stupid questions" frees you from the trap of assumption. This is why people who are good at solving (or helping others solve) problems ask "stupid questions". I suppose "rubber duck debugging" is a form of this.

the problem is that it frees you from your assumptions, but you'll encounter many more assumptions from others

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#34

Post by tester34 »

>The benefit from asking a stupid sounding question is small in most particular instances, but the compounding benefit over time is quite large and I've observed that people who are willing to ask dumb questions and think "stupid thoughts" end up understanding things much more deeply over time. Conversely, when I look at people who have a very deep understanding of topics, many of them frequently ask naive sounding questions and continue to apply one of the techniques that got them a deep understanding in the first place.

Just be like this girl :P

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7q89tdSjE-0

>Learning a sport or video game: I try things out to understand what happens when you do them, which often results in other people thinking that I'm a complete idiot when the thing is looks stupid, but being willing to look stupid helps me improve relatively quickly

Overall author came up with this concept of "looks stupid", yet it does already exist as "failure teaches more" or just "curiosity" in my opinion.

Overall2:

Maybe

Why Is It So Hard to Be Rational?

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2021/08/23/why-is-it-so-h...

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#36

Post by josephg »

After a terrible breakup years ago I took a trapeze class. Before we got up on the trapeze bar, I spent most of the class telling everyone how bad I was going to be at it. When I got home I lay in bed confused. Why did I do that? This article is spot on. I was afraid of being seen to be bad at something.

Have you noticed? We spend almost our entire adult lives doing things we’re good at. Anything we do that we’re bad at, we either stop doing or we get good at it. So all roads lead us away from the experience of being a beginner. For me, it had been too long. And I’d accidentally forgotten how to do it.

So I took up dancing (which I’m bad at). That was really terrifying. And trampolining. And more recently improv. At the moment I’m learning to draw - which I spent most of my life wanting to do. But I never stuck with it because I hate drawing badly. But that’s just what it feels like to be a beginner. The trick is letting that go, because it doesn’t matter. You don’t get to be good at anything without first being bad at it. And being comfortably, visibly bad at something gives everyone else permission to play.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#37

Post by threatofrain »

terabytest wrote: post #27

I guess the "stupid question" I'd ask of this article is: why don't you reveal your goals or thought process when challenged after asking a question that might be perceived as stupid? Take the Apple Store example: why not explain the reason why you were asking for a product by the size of its box when they responded by saying that size of the box does not map to size of the product? Being open about your goal would'v…

But Dan Luu isn't obviously motivated by a desire to antagonize the Apple employee, and neither is he socially or morally obligated in the slightest to explain his consumer intentions during a purchase at the Apple store.

And was the encounter really antagonistic? Dan Luu is the one who left looking stupid.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#38

Post by 123pie123 »

I learnt a long time ago by a director (CEO) of a large UK company on how to assess people, their technical abilities and personality

and that is to act stupid/ daft - not just one question, but for periods of time. and see how they respond to you

a very effective technique when dealing or interacting with so called Subject Matter Experts. If they're an expert they should be able to explain complex stuff at a High/ medium/ low levels or just say they do not know.

If they're not really an expert then they cover up their lack of knowledge

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#39

Post by gizmo »

terabytest wrote: post #27

I guess the "stupid question" I'd ask of this article is: why don't you reveal your goals or thought process when challenged after asking a question that might be perceived as stupid? Take the Apple Store example: why not explain the reason why you were asking for a product by the size of its box when they responded by saying that size of the box does not map to size of the product? Being open about your goal would'v…

But why can't you just ask for what you want without people automatically assuming you're stupid? If you care that strangers think you're dumb you have to adjust your behavior a lot and some people would rather just be genuine. Besides, the easiest way to not look stupid is to make up a reason that sounds reasonable (i.e. lying) to get what you want. This is what many (most?) people do. If they want the Apple computer that comes in the smallest package they'll make up a BS reason (i.e. flight luggage restrictions) in order to seem reasonable to the stranger who works at Apple.

The question is really what kind of person do you want to be? Do you want a person who habitually lies about unimportant stuff in order to accomplish goals? Do you want to be a person who is genuine but gets unfairly judged by strangers? Or do you want to be a person who justifies themselves to strangers in order to avoid getting judged?

If you think lying is wrong and seeking the approval of strangers is a bad habit only one option remains.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#40

Post by lukeholder »

simonswords82 wrote: post #16
sillysaurusx wrote: post #2

> Going into an Apple store and asking for (and buying) the computer that comes in the smallest box, which I had a good reason to want at the time > The person who helped me, despite being very polite, also clearly thought I was a bozo and kept explaining things like "the size of the box and the size of the computer aren't the same". Of course I knew that, but I didn't want to say something like "I design CPUs. I und…

My guess was that he needed a small box in order to fit it in his bag to take home?

Yeah but if that is true, why cause so much trouble and just said why you want the smallest box.
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